Looking for Mr. or Ms. Marble

I never before thought about being in love with a marble statue but supposedly somewhere in the world someone is.
This could be seen as bringing a whole new meaning to the words dating and relationships for guys and gals.

I’ll be somewhat old fashioned and start with “Ladies first” and list the pros and cons of such a relationship.

Pros
Your Mr. Marble never argues with you -> now this is a real plus and saves your nerves and you won’t go gray so fast from arguing with someone.

Never complains -> This is even better because there is no one there to say that dinner is cold or his shirts aren’t pressed right and so forth.

Virtually maintenance free -> never have to do any laundry or clean up after him, so this means more free time to do what you want.

There are many other things too that I could list here but then I would run out of space.

Though there are a couple of cons to a Mr. Marble too:

Mr. Marble can’t talk -> this makes for a very one sided conversation and could get boring after awhile, and because I love to talk; I am not too sure about such a guy.

Can’t take me out ->now here’s a real problem. Just think about it; you reserved a table at a nice restaurant and you show up with Mr. Marble and take your seat and he is seated next to you. Well, don’t be surprised if you get some strange looks, and the worst part is when you are finished you have to pay for the meal yourself, plus you never get invited out by Mr. Marble.

I like to be invited out, so this defiantly wouldn’t work for me!

The worst one is driving around in your car. You have to chauffeur Mr. Marble everywhere and pay for the gas on top of that too. But if you own a bicycle you can put Mr. Marble in the basket and ride around with him and be the envy of all your gal friends.

Still somehow a real guy seems more appealing to me. But then again I never had a Mr. Marble.

The worst thought of all is; what happens when Mr. Marble accidentally falls on the floor and shatters into a thousand pieces??? Will you be able to replace him and is he insured with accidental cover?

Otherwise, there could be serious trouble in your life, unless to deliberately threw Mr. Marble on the ground because you had enough of him and wanted a newer model. Now that’s not bad. No arguing crying or divorce. One drop and he’s out of your life!

Now guys, I haven’t forgotten you here either. There’s the Ms. Marble version who will never talk back to you either and can sit next to you hours on end as you watch sports on TV and never complaining about it. Or just plain o’l cruise around with Ms. Marble in the car and be the envy of all your buddies and the advantage of Ms. Marble is she’s a cheap date.
No more spending money on needless dates that don’t lead anywhere because Ms. Marble won’t lead you anywhere either. Ms. Marble will always have a face of stone so no worries there either.

This whole issue brings you to think that times are really changing and if you want to keep abreast of them, then maybe you should consider in investing in a Mr. or Ms. Marble at an unbelievable cheap price of $19.95 plus tax and a five year guarantee against rust. So rush out now before Friday and pick yourself up one for a stress free weekend.

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3 thoughts on “Looking for Mr. or Ms. Marble

  1. I’m not too sure about how Mr. Marble is in that area, but if you find out please let me know 😉

  2. Haha..would make some things alot easier..except, would Mr Marble pick up his clothes off the floor?
    Funny!!

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