Golf Balls and Goof Balls

Now that spring is here where I am living one can start to enjoy outdoor activities such as golf. I am by no means a professional player nor do I want to be one either. I just love to hit those balls around the course and watch them fly through the air in the direction that I didn’t want them to go.

I have read and taken lessons on how to tee-off and hit the ball when you are on the fairway and I must say those manufactures of the golf balls must hate me or have planted a special chip in the ball that makes it always land in the water or sand trap or wherever else it shouldn’t land.

I think there is a golf ball conspiracy out there against me…

Recently while out golfing I teed-off and my ball landed right in the middle of the pond in the fairway.
But thank heavens I had my thigh waders for fishing with me and so I put them on and waded out into the pond and found my ball and could easily hit it because I had my new deep water club for hitting balls from a pond.

And believe me it makes a world of difference to know that you don’t need to drop a new ball and I can still stay within the par!

This is a real life saver.

While out on the course again there was someone with a GPS thingy that calculated everything for you and the only thing it didn’t do was hit the ball.

Where has the fun gone in the game of golf -> I ask ???

When do I need such a device plus it’s only more junk to carry around and with all the other stuff I need along with my supply of paper cups for the unknown beer stop or my thigh waders for the water I have no space for it. And if the battery dies then I am SOL and won’t be able to play at all.

But maybe that device has a hidden chip in it that controls the direction of my ball and then I could manage to get my ball onto the green in one stroke. I would be ecstatic if that happened. And then I would only need one more stroke and bingo -> my ball is in the hole.

But after that is the next hole where there is some long grass at the edge of the fairway and here I don’t worry either because I have my long grass cutter club and this works just like a hedge trimmer, so when I hit my ball the grass is cut away at the same time leaving the fairway free for me. Great device and a “must have” for this season!

And as I walk along the course it happens too sometime that my ball is drawn by the magnetic powers of the sand trap and seems to want to land in it. Again as a professional woman golfer; I have my sand shovel club and with one dig I am out of the trap and onto the green.
Life can be so easy when you know how to golf correctly and own the right set of clubs too.

After a short beer break at the 11th hole then it’s off again onto the course for the other adventures that I may face and believe me there are many!!!

I just mentioned all my great clubs that I own, but what I forgot was all those golf balls and what they are supposed to do for me.

It is said that they should fly far -> how? Do they have a built in engine somewhere?

Lightweight -> I thought all golf balls weighed less than a ton or am I missing out somewhere?

For men -> Why don’t you like us gals?

For women -> great colors now all you need to do is program then to land on the green after teeing off. Please do this for me and then you will have won my heart!

So I am sure many of you avid golfers out there will want to rush out for a new set of clubs like mine, but don’t forget you need the right ball or it will be a goof ball game of golf!

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