Junk email

I noticed recently that I seem to be getting more spam/ junk emails in my email in box. You know as well as I do that these junk emails are really annoying to get and that you have to take the time to delete them. A never ending process!

I would love to ask those spammers: Do you enjoy getting spam in your email in box? And I bet they would say “no”.

I love to read the reference of the emails and I wonder to myself do these jokers realize that I am a women???

These can be really humorous from a woman’s point of view.

I would like to list a few here because I am sure there are some of you out there too who have received the same sort of spam.

Just to side track a moment remember when the name spam wasn’t something that you got via electronic post but a product that you could buy in the grocery store that was sold in a can.

I have always wondered what is the connection between these two??? Does anyone know the answer?

Anyways, here are some really great email headers:

1. Lose weight organically – How the heck is that supposed to work?

2. Increase your chest size with pills – Right pop a pill and with its placebo effect I can see my chest expanding two sizes within 2 weeks boosting my ego and draining my bank account.

3. Lengthen your male parts – How should I do this I don’t have any manly parts on my body. Do they know something that I don’t ?

4. The blue wonder pill – What should I do with the blue pill? I thought those were for guys or am I mistaken and is it really a wonder?

5. Meet the partner of your dreams in 3 easy steps – Wow, if life was that easy? Did someone tell them that I was single and only need to take 3 steps to meet a guy?

6. Better your marriage – Now I’m married. I am really getting mixed up. Am I single or married? Could someone tell me???

7. You just won 5 million dollars – That’s great, but how did I win it without playing any lotteries?

8. Play poker – I am not a card player or are they hoping that I will become one?

9. Make friends in your city – Are they saying that I don’t have any friends and should get out more and are they people I want to be friends with?

The list could be endless as to the headers which are on emails but one thing for sure is they can be entertaining even if they are annoying.

I always wonder is there anyone out the in the cyber world that actually looks at these emails and contacts the sender about the product? I am sure someone does.

Can imagine opening email number 5 on my list : Meet your partner of your dreams in three easy steps.

1. Send in $20.00
2. Receive a confirmation that they received your $20.00
3. Receive new email saying you need to send more money because there isn’t anyone in your area for you.
4. Send us another $ 20.00 and we will look again and there isn’t anyone for you – sorry but thanks for the money!

The wonders of electronic post – enjoy your spam headers!

Dishwasher and Dinner guests

While watching TV I saw a commercial that really got my attention. It was about doing the dishes in the dishwasher and it got my really thinking about my machine. There is supposedly a new detergent tab on the market for your dishwasher that will bring a whole new aspect to using the dishwasher and this could revolutionize how you use your dishwasher!

My gosh all those years of using my dishwasher and I didn’t know that. What kind of person am I?
Though naturally I haven’t put too much thought into this chore before but now after seeing that commercial I knew as I sat there on the sofa that I must buy that product before my next dinner party or else it will be a disaster. And that I don’t want…..

But you are still wondering how I bet?

Well it’s simple: Just think there you are at your dinner table with your guests talking about the normal stuff or comparing apps on your cell phones – how boring!! All you need to do is get everyone into the kitchen pop a tab in the dishwasher and then turn the machine on and presto a man appears playing the piano for you and your guests. And he plays the whole time the machine is running too. What could be better? You can say what you want but that would be a real hot conversation topic and everyone would remember the evening at your place.

Once the dishwasher program is finished then the pianist disappears too. What I find a bit disturbing is that the guy doesn’t hang around and take the clean dishes out of the dishwasher and put them away for you. I mean really for the price of those tabs I want to get my money worth and not some empty promise and that ruined my dinner party because I was using the wrong dishwasher tab!

But if you don’t own a dishwasher don’t worry; you can have a doing the dishes party and like the old ad years ago –> make sure you have the right dish washing liquid to ensure soft skin. Wouldn’t want your party to end with dish pan hands….wrinkly skin ahoy

With the party method everyone has to wash their own dishes and dry them too saving the host/hostess time plus no worries your guest are busy and they don’t get bored so fast either.

But back to the dishwasher, guys this could be a real date saver for you when you use this product. The machine is running the guy is playing the piano and your date is sitting there speechless because she never knew that you were the kind of guy that did such things. This should be at the top of your list next time you want to impress a gal at your place.

So next time you are out shopping don’t forget to buy this nifty product to bring a classical touch to doing the dishes with the dishwasher. Have fun doing the dishes!

Got a Business Card?

Business cards are great things for business people because it helps everyone know how to contact you and for which company you work for. Those wonderful little cards have been around for years and somehow we always seem to have tons of them and never really remember who gave them to us.

I am sunk in the world of business cards – HELP ME!!!

But times are changing in the world now and of course we still rely on the business card and love to hand them out to whoever is around. They seem to come in all colors and with different print or weight of paper, and believe me with weight that can turn into a problem. The business card blues…

Now-a-days you may want to have a little wagon( remember the sort you had as a kid – red with wheels) to collect your business cards because times are changing and now the cards are going to be made of cement. Naturally with your name and phone number on it and all the other relevant info too.

Because of the material it could be a bit heavy to carry around in your suit pocket or brief case and making you look a bit lop sided when you walk, and this you don’t want to happen at your next important meeting – do you?
But then again maybe you are wearing the new super cement pocket suit which is especially made for those new business cards made out of cement.

Guys – don’t get this suit mixed up with your normal suit because it may look the same but the suit is of a special material so you can carry around your new cement business cards. Some weight training is advisable before you start to wear the suit or else you may have some muscle aches at the end of the day from wear the suit.

I would recommend at least 1 month training, so then you are strong enough to wear the suit and have a pocket full of cement business cards with you.

But if you would prefer the wagon to carry your business cards around in; then there’s the new cement business card wagon tailored to you needs. These wagons are great because they come in all colors and you can choose all the accessories on it just like you would when you buy a new car. In the wagon there is the alphabetical order file system so you don’t get your cards mixed up and there’s the portable drink cooler and retractable desk with computer so no worries when you are out of the office because you have your office with you. Plus too there’s the swivel chair that comes with the set-up, so you never need to worry about where do I sit?

The wonders of an office on wheels….. I want one

This wonderful set-up eases your work load and enables you to easily go on business trips or attend conferences and it’s a real eye-catcher too. And probably your business associates will envy you for having such a set-up.

You wouldn’t want to be at the next board meeting and have someone point at you and say “Where’s your business card wagon?” That could be a real career killer because everyone else is there with their wagon.

The only way to save yourself in that situation is to have your new cement business card handy and say “Do you have one like this?” And when they don’t; then you know you are ahead of the game and ready for promotion!

I want to be the boss!!!

So next time you are planning an important business meeting or trip do not forget your new cement business cards and business card wagon so that you will be the hit of the meeting. Enjoy your next meeting!

Wrinkles and sagging skin – It is really true!

And can help you with wrinkles and signs of aging. At least that’s what the ad said in the newspaper today. I got to wondering how this facial cream can help me with the signs of aging?

Anyone know the answer? To be honest I don’t. Though I have an inkling that it could have to do with skin though maybe the cream has magic powers that I don’t know about and so I should go out Monday and buy some to see if its magic powers can stop those signs of aging.

And believe me there are many signs that come with maturing and not only wrinkles on your face…. Please help me!!!
My theory is: aging is a mixture of things and that one cream just can’t do the trick or maybe it can?????
Well, it could be if you start to get forgetful about where you put your glasses or car keys this cream could help, because once you have applied it onto your clean skin in the morning the magic powers of the cream make you feel younger and you don’t forget things.. Not bad eh?

Or the cream is so great that it can make you feel younger naturally only when you look in the mirror because no one else will notice it except you. The problems of aging….. OMG!!

Plus, when you buy all those magical creams the ingredients listed on the package is written soooooo small you need a super powered microscope to read what is in it, and then once you know what is in it you may change your mind because you feel it may take your skin off and not help you with the signs of aging. My goodness, couldn’t the marketing people come up with some better words than those?

I read those things and always wonder how all those chemicals are going to keep my skin looking young and if I am not a scientist it would take me years to find out what each chemical will do to my skin. The crisis of chemistry!

Though I do think it is intentional and they are trying to baffle our brains with the ingredients and think those great chemicals are really going to help us. I give up and don’t what to think about it or else that may make me age. But my brain is still functioning; thank goodness!

Though with aging things do change in your life and there is no arguing about that: You can have a little work done on yourself and such, but it doesn’t change how good you can see or how your brain works either.

Life can be so hard on us. But one thing is for sure that when you mature you collect lots of experience and learn/ learned from things… hopefully. Those are the wonders of aging. I love it…. So, why should we want to erase everything with a facial cream? Wasn’t it years ago that wrinkles were a sign of wisdom and now it’s a sign that you have one foot in the grave. Society can be so mean to us now-a-days.

Sorry, I got side tracked from the promises of the facial cream. I was thinking I should ask people what sort of creams they use and if they feel younger or does their skin look younger since they started using it. And the worse part of all is now they say that if you sit in front of the computer too long your facial skin sags. Now I am doomed after all these years of using the computer and I hope those creams can help me now.

The thought of sitting in front of the computer and my skin is starting to sag and hang makes my want to scream…..HELP
Maybe the product is the special computer stop sagging skin cream so then I am saved from the perils of the computer and aging. Now that’s a promising thought – I am saved!

So if any of you happened to read that ad in the news paper too today and have bought the cream in the mean time. Please let us know if it works and then I will run out and buy it too!

Lunchtime

Lunchtime can be a great and informative time. At the cafeteria today I was informed about some great happenings in some gals’ life and when you compared that to my life well, it sounds like my life is really boring.
Where’s the excitement????

If you go the cafeteria it can be a hotbed of gossip and intrigue. Those gals working there know what’s going on in the company and not the CEO. The CEO should talk to those gals to get the lowdown and then would know what is really happening in a company.
So all CEO’S out there don’t hide yourself in those executive lunches get to know the cafeteria of your company that you run because it can be an enlightening and informative experience!

Back to what I wanted to say; there was one gal behind the counter who so nicely gave the room a detailed account of her husband and I do say; if he knew about that there would be trouble to say the least when she got home that evening. But that really got my attention somehow and thought I should hang around a bit longer instead of going for a boring coffee. Plus I had always wondered about her and her life but would never ask.

Well, on Saturday morning her husband – she’s married (she added) he wasn’t going to paint the kitchen for her and if she wanted it done she had to do it herself because he was going to the football game. Basta!! She got a bit up set and said that she said some things that aren’t worth repeating -> I can only imagine. The perils of marriage!!

So, she told him to F!&-off in no terms and started to get the kitchen ready to paint it herself. She doesn’t look like a painter to me but hey what do I know?

Though her husband seemed to cool off a bit and decided to paint the kitchen in the evening after the football game.
She so nicely informed us that that he was wearing his FoL underpants and nothing else because he didn’t want to dirty his clothes. . If he only knew the world knew now what he was wearing while he was painting -> he would leave his wife!

And then the other women working with her so kindly gave a us all a detailed description of how her dog honked all over the carpet – this was really fitting for the cafeteria!
Then she went on to say that she heard that the boss was having an affair with his secretary and that she had first had information so it had to be true.
I thought wow – If he only knew that we all know now; we all may be fired.

Though I doubt that very much. Life can be so interesting at work. You only need to hang out at the right spots at the right time.
Enjoy your next work day and keep your ears open for any exciting news!

Fashion Blunders

You won’t believe it but men actually don’t tell their gals the truth about their figure. So, letting the gal waste her hard earned cash on fashion that doesn’t look good on her.

Well, if you ask me that just takes the cake!!! How can you guys be so heartless to us gals?

What happened to the old saying: “Honesty is the best policy” I guess that doesn’t hold true anymore and honesty seems to have been flushed down the toilet.

When I go shopping with my guy (not very often) I hope for an honest answer when I ask him: How does this look on me? Though it is a bit tough to keep his attention focused on me and not have him end up talking to some other guy about what ever and I have to try to get his attention or he has somehow put his brain in an energy saving mode and so it doesn’t matter what I say he will say “good idea; looks good”

Men don’t really seem to concentrate on what is going on when you go shopping with them and seem to think they are there only to hold the bags. Well maybe this is true in some cases but not in my case. I want my guy to participate in my choosing an outfit, but he is just plain not interested.

Or maybe guys are worried if they tell the truth their gal could get upset and then there could be a heated discussion. I’m not sure, but guys you could be a bit more honest with us, so we could save our and maybe your money and avoiding that horrid purchase that we will never wear in your life.

Gals we have all done this – someone says “oh, that looks great on you.” And you think maybe their right and buy it. Home you go hang it in your closet and there it hangs for the next 6 months and then rediscovered. You take it out look at it and think to yourself “why did I buy this?” it looks terrible on me and it makes me look out of proportion. And then you hang it back in the closet forever, never to be worn.

And you think to yourself “If I had only listened to my feelings.” I would have never bought that. But another one is my guy bought me something and thinks I look great in it and I think the opposite and if I told him the truth he would be deeply upset. Why can’t honesty work both ways when it comes to fashion for gals?

I think the best method to avoid all this is to go shopping either alone or with a good friend. So then there’s no stress in the relationship or HOPEFULLY no wrong fashion purchases…. I need to go shopping now

Enjoy shopping and remember be honest about how it looks!

Vexing Vacations

Now vacations are supposed to be a time for fun and relaxation but then there are times when it can be a nerve racking problem according to some European study where the majority of couples argue when their on vacation. This I find unbelievable!!!

I say that those couples don’t have the right approach to vacationing; if you asked me. With good planning and a list( I love lists) you can combine sightseeing, beach and eating out every day, and vola´ – no arguing.

Wow – if it was that simple!

But life can be very simple if you just follow my idea. Of course you don’t have to stick exactly to my plan but it would be helpful if you want to avoid those unwanted tiffs that could ruin your vacation.

What would a vacation be without at least one heated discussion??? A boring time…

And the worst part of all that can really ruin your vacation is the little spat over “what do we do today?” and when that happens well you can just forget your vacation and go on home!

But as I mentioned if you both make a list and then flip a coin on that day to decide what you will do and this way avoiding any arguing and this makes for a clear and defined answer to: What do we do today?

My list would be something like this:

7.00 – 7.45 get-up and ready for the day

7.55 – 8.30 breakfast (take a doggy bag; you may get hungry later)

8.30 – 9.00 free time (I’m tired already from rushing around)

9.00 – 10.00 lounge by the pool -> great if you don’t want your guy ogling all those young bathing beauties! Pools empty

10.30 – 11.00 free time

11.00 – 1.00pm sightseeing and stick to the plan or else the day is ruined!

1.00 – 2.30 next art museum

2.30 – 2.45 quick coffee to rest-up -> I need a vacation from this vacation!!!

And so far the day is easy going and no stress and everyone knows the program.

2.45 – 5.00 SHOPPING -> don’t want to miss out on any bargains that could be around; do we?

Then you can return back to your hotel and enjoy yourself until 6.30 pm.

6.30 time for dinner

7.30 drinks at the bar -> I need one after that day!!

8.00 – 11.00 dancing

And after a full day of action I am sure you are both too tired to argue. So try the list method next time you are on vacation and please let us know if it worked out because I have never tried it myself.

Enjoy your vacation wherever it may take you!