My Health as a Woman

My health is good or at least I thought that until I started reading all the online articles in various newspapers from around the world which informed me about various symptoms and the cures.

Firstly, as a women we go through those monthly horror trips when we have our –as I like to put it “off days” (sounds better than mood swings or PMT) They made it sound as if every women in the world turned into an old hag and that all women are in bad moods- now that they informed me I can do something about it- I need to think now….
I never knew before reading that stuff that I had those problems but now that I do.. I feel that some things have to change – But what ???? I could see it now those bad mood hormones creeping up on me and saying “it’s time to be in a bad mood” – so I quickly stopped reading the article, because I know now that I am caught up in the monthly horror trip. OMG the thought of the monthly horror trip and I’m not prepared…. Help me I’m a women with problems !!!!

Then there was the article about lying about your age and if you do some jokers can take a peek at your brain and tell you exactly how old you are. Those guys are real party poopers!!
I don’t always want to tell everybody exactly how old I am and when someone gives me a nice complement saying you look younger than I say “Thank-you”. Why should I say – “well, if you want the truth; I’m over the hill and feel like s&%t and my brain is old and I am not sure if I remember what day it is today.” There you have it in a nut shell and makes me feel crappy!!!
I want to be young, so hey I knock a couple of years off my age and I feel great and I’m not hurting a soul. Plus, years ago everyone knew that women lied about their age and it was unthought-of to say how old you really were nor was it polite to ask that dangerous question “How old are you?” What’s happening to the fun of being a women ???

Now my next problem that I really didn’t know about was that I shouldn’t eat egg yolks. I love eggs and I am still around after eating lots of them – I better go to the doctors this afternoon and have my lungs x-rayed to see if they have turned yellow from all the eggs that I have eaten throughout the years.
It seems that anything that you enjoy eating or drinking is bad for you. Like years ago. First it was ok to drink a glass of red wine a day and then it wasn’t now it is ….. Does anyone really know what is going on???? But I can be happy there are still some veggies around that are good for you, or at least I hope so.
What can I eat????

I will have to make a visit to the grocery store after and with my magnify glass read all the fine print on the packages to see that I don’t ingest some substance that could cause something in my system.

OHHHH food – I love it and want to eat it!!!

Now that I have gotten all these problems off my chest I think I will go out in my bad mood and lie about my age, and buy some eggs and enjoy a good unhealthy omelet! Thank you internet for telling me all about those problems and I am still alive and HEALTHY…..

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