Job Application …… Lebenslauf

sueromeiser:

HI everyone,
I thought I would share this with you.
Euer,
Freddi die Bratpfanne

Originally posted on Freddi die Bratpfanne und Henny:

Hi friends,
Yes the week is about to end and I (Freddi) am looking for a job. Like you all know Henny has one. She’s a CEO of a big company and it seems that sometimes she is so busy that she doesn’t have enough time for me. So I thought I would apply for a job as COO at a company.
I thought maybe you would like to know a bit about me too, so here is my CV/ Resume:

Position Applying for: COO

F CV photo
Name: Freddi die Bratfpanne
Age: young and shinny with no scratches

I would like to apply for the position of COO at your company and feel that I am the right “Bratpfanne” for the job. I am motivated and full of energy. I can deal with heated situations without any problems.
As a young dynamic “ Bratpfanne” I know that I could be a valuable…

View original 252 more words

Timepiece of Happiness

Yes there was a time when we could simply be happy and didn’t need to be told that we were happy but nowadays… How the heck do I know if I am happy or not???? A couple of years back there was the mood ring where the stone changed its color so I knew if I was happy or what and the ring changed color too because I wore it too much and my finger turned green and not from envy.

Then there was the mood glasses too, they helped put the world in a rosy perspective, so to say, but they didn’t let me know if I was happy or not and not knowing that simple fact is somewhat disturbing, if you ask me…… Don’t ask!

But now I feel saved because there is a watch coming onto the market that will save me thinking and will just let me know if I am happy or not………..

Hummmm, I think I feel happy, but better check or else I won’t know and will be left in the dark wondering if I am happy or not???? Now that is a load taken off my shoulders… Not that I was worried about being happy or knowing if I was. The thought never crossed my mind before, but now with a watch to tell me if I am happy or not… Life couldn’t be easier and I can tell everyone after a quick glance at my watch if I am happy or not…

So, everyone out there just a warning; if you didn’t get a chance to look at my watch before seeing my face, be careful because it used to be that the facial expression gave a clue as to what mood the person is/was in. So, if you see a somewhat up-set look on my face steer clear because it means that I am in a bad mood, otherwise I am in a good mood and you can see this without looking at my watch or me looking at my watch either……. A plain simple fact!!! I bet you didn’t know that….

Then again, like the article mentioned I can wear the watch to bed and it monitors how I sleep if I move around in my sleep and how long I have slept…… I feel worn out just thinking about all that and then after trying to fall asleep not move too much, feel happy, have happy dreams and so forth….
Though when I wake up in the morning after a good night’s sleep I can inform everyone that I slept happily, am well rested and now happily awaiting the day to start… Where’s my coffee??? Or else I am in a bad mood…… No watch needed for this bit of information!!

Plus, to compare myself to friends….. OMG!!! There we go the start of ruining my friendship with friends and we are all comparing our happiness, sleeping habits and so on. I am not too sure doing that would be a good idea and what happens when one of us is happier than the other??? Wouldn’t it be a bit show-offy if I went around to my friends and said “Hey, look at how happy I am.” Okay, that is theory. But if they said that they were happier than me……Now what????

And to top it off… it will give me tips on how to change my lifestyle….. How does the watch know how I live and whether I eat healthy or not??? I like my lifestyle and I think I can think for myself and that wearing a happiness watch along with my normal watch would be a tad too much, but then again I would know if I was happy or not…… Even thought I have to buy my happiness watch to know that I am happy, but hey, to know I am happy is worth every cent!! Or ?????

Have a happy Friday

Hot Coffee and Cleaning the House….

You are probably asking yourself what have both of those in common… more than you think I say!

I read that there is a new coffee cup out there that can keep a cup of coffee warm for up to 45 minutes and then all you have to do is recharge it via USB and away you go with another cup of warm coffee.

This gadget I see as a real thing for guys, but I think it could be easy to say that the hot coffee cup may peter out after a time because if you only like your coffee hot and the battery only lasts 45 minutes… then what is left over, but a sorry cup of cold coffee and a dead battery, and if you don’t have a USB connection available, then you are “S… out of luck”!!!

With all these modern things around “how has one survived so long using a conventional cup for coffee?” Now that is a question that requires deep thought and scientific research.

But coffee is the essence of life; it tastes good, if made right. And with the right gadgets great coffee is just a step away, so to say and cleaning the house somehow goes hand in hand with a cup of coffee. It is said that guys have to do more house work after they retire from work and so I see a whole new dimension as to how to interest guys to do house work.

There you have it guys (once retired) your heated coffee cup, but wait a minute here! Wasn’t there once the headed coaster thing that you could place your coffee mug on and it would keep you mug of coffee warm for awhile??? Away, these sorts of gadgets are just things guys need to get them interested in the world of housework. Gals put your thinking caps on and get those gadgets out!!

Guys you cans have your robot vacuum cleaner (providing endless hours of entertainment) and maybe could hold a sort of vacuum race with your buddies to see who gets the job done first or who has the coolest dishwasher? Then it’s time for a coffee break and your coffee is still warm in your new heated mug…. Post a couple of messages and take a couple of selfies too. Who said housework has to be dull and boring for guys?

It is just an action packed event and this is all because of the new gadgets around these days. Then when the chores are done inside there’s the robot lawnmower to keep you from getting bored outside the house.

Guys, I could think of thousands of action packed ways for you to get involved in housework and not wait until you retire, because by then the coffee maybe cold, and who wants that?

Sorry No Selfie Today

It was brought to my attention the other day that young people take at least 30 “selfies” of themselves a day. Where do they find the time???

It got me thinking about selfies and if took 30 of myself in a day …. How would I manage?

So, I guess the first one would be when I get-up in the morning….. You probably would have a heart attack if you saw me, so I guess I won’t post one of me getting-up…. Thank goodness you say!!

Selfie number 2: Just showered, wet hair in my old bathrobe and drinking a cup of coffee… Now that is a picture to share with the world…Or???

Selfie number 3: Brushing my teeth and putting my make-up on all at the same time… Now you say: “that is a picture I want to see”!

Selfie number 4: Me doing the dishes before going to work. I bet you never saw anyone doing that before? Or is there someone at your house who does that too?

Selfie number 5: Standing at the bus stop…. Now that could be an action packed photo. I did a background check, my hair is perfect and I look good until the wind comes along right when the picture is being taken…. Who cares … post it anyway! I am at the bus stop

Selfie number 6: (To be honest I am getting tired of taking selfies and I am only at picture number 6) But the day is young and “Selfies” will make my day better…. Hopefully???

Selfie number 7: forgot to take number 6 … we’ll just skip one! Now here I am waiting for the commuter train on the platform with all the other happy commuters…. Don’t you feel that this is a must take picture to show everyone?? I do

Selfie number 8: at the office… in my office wow… This is a cool place a must picture!!! Of course with me in it…

Selfie number 9: Me by the coffee machine at work… Aren’t you impressed??

Selfie number 10: can’t take it, big boss says no!! Party pooper

Selfie number 11: no group picture either. Everyone in the office is too busy to stop for a group Selfie…. Where is the fun here?? This Selfie stuff is turning into a full time job and I am not sure if I have time to do my job now or should I be taking Selfies

Selfie number 12: Me eating my peanut butter and jelly sandwich at my desk…. Now that is something to write home about!

Selfie number 13: Leaving the office for the day… How do you like me waving at you?? Aren’t I just full of original ideas for my Selfies???

Selfie number 14: Me getting a shopping trolley at the grocery store… I bet you never thought that my life was so exciting? Did you????

Selfie number 15: A gallon of milk in my hand… you never knew that was what a gallon of milk looked like before??? Well, if you didn’t now you know.

Selfie number 16- 29: requires too much energy on my part and the battery is getting low on my Smartphone.

Selfie number 30: in the kitchen again… where I was this morning only now making dinner…. I hope everyone is hungry and likes what I am cooking?

Sorry no more selfies today!

Outboard Motor Memoires

This is sort of a guy topic, but I am sure some of you gals know about this too.

The other day was the anniversary of Mr. Evinrude the man who invented the outboard motor years ago.

I thank Mr. Evinrude because without his invention I wouldn’t have been able to spend so many wonderful hours on a lake when I was a kid. That outboard motor attached to the back of the small boat that helped us get from our dock to someplace else on the lake was wonderful…..

I remember when the time came when my dad built a bigger boat and then bought a larger outboard motor, but still the joy of being out on the lake fishing or just being out there with my dad was great! And all that thanks to an outboard motor.

Sure we rowed around too in a smaller boat because we weren’t old enough to drive a big boat, but who cared…. Not me!!! The main thing was being outside enjoying the sunshine and water. Years pasted and we needed a new outboard motor (sorry, the brand name …I can’t remember).

But still the trusty outboard motor did its job…okay sometimes it wouldn’t start on the first, second or even the third pull because the motor got flooded and my dad would get really upset and use words I won’t repeat….. But, I learned some new words from those trying moments…Thanks dad!!

Or another time out fishing and my dad wanted to “start her up” as he would say and pulled the cord and it snapped….. Now that was something 2 miles from our dock and we had to paddle the whole way back…. I thought it was great fun, but not my dad as you can imagine!!!

Once back on shore I had to tell my mom all about the fun we had and my dad was about to explode because of the “GD-outboard motor”, and to make matters worse I asked my dad what “GD” meant….definitely a bad move on my part!!!

When I think back about all those great times I had I feel sorry for the Kids today because they aren’t allowed to do things alone anymore…. Like me and my friends out catching minnows with a net and rowing around the lake for hours…. No one worried about us and we were free to enjoy ourselves , but we never did anything stupid either and were responsible , or we walked around the lake on a path along the edge of the lake…… no problems, no injuries….just plain fun!!!

It was better that any computer game and taught us self-confidence , social skills and how to remember how to get from A to B and back without GPS or calling someone for help.

Those were the days, and if you have an outboard motor and boat…. Enjoy it and cherish the memories that it brings you!

Sunny days are on the way…

Grocery Store Here I Come!

There is supposed to be a new shopping App on the way that will make my grocery shopping a really fun and a quick experience…….. No more fun wandering the aisle for me!!!

The little App is there to help me and make my life easier or so they say. Just scan your stuff at home that you need to buy and then you are on your way to the grocery store and once inside the GPS system shows you where to find those products….. Why do I have a brain???

I see a nightmare approaching … There I stand in my kitchen and think to myself (thank goodness I can still do that without an App) “High time to go to the grocery store”, now what??? Normally I make myself a list …. Like lots of people do; so I know what I want to buy. Well, I guess that is too old fashioned!

Now I need to take a picture of everything that I want to buy at that one and only grocery store…. Now firstly, I need a Smartphone that I can take pictures with and has App’s and the battery has to be fully charged or else my shopping picture list won’t exist…. This will take more time than me writing my shopping list on a piece of paper….. Where’s my pen????

But what really worries me is the fact that I have to constantly be taking pictures of the packages of things that I have bought and want to buy again. How much time do I have??? Let’s see: the pile of empty packaging that I saved; Smartphone ready to take pictures- laying out all the old packaging … OMG I threw some packaging out…. Now what???? My shopping trip is down the drain and it hasn’t even started yet….. NO bad hair day… But a bad grocery shopping day!!!

With sweat running down my brow I manage after 45 minutes to photograph all the stuff that I want to buy, and I still need to write a list for the stuff that I couldn’t take a picture of… now I am up to 60 minutes being wasted of my time. But saving time is of the essence!!!

There I enter the grocery store and my App automatically sends me a GPS signal so that I can find the stuff that I took a picture of at home quicker… Life can be so simple at times…. No brain required here!

Though I do have to watch were I am going. I don’t want to collide with anyone in my race to save time to get what I took pictures of. But can you image if you bought a product that was a special and the grocery store doesn’t have it anymore and my App doesn’t tell me this…. I feel that could just ruin my GPS shopping experience then and there!!

Now I have to turn to my paper list and there I stand in the middle of an aisle not knowing which way to turn because there is no GPS on my list and I have to depend on my brain power and wander the aisles aimlessly looking for that one product that I couldn’t take a picture of….. The perils of getting lost in the aisles of a grocery store!!!

But what is far worse is the thought that your battery on your Smartphone dies while in the grocery store because I forgot to charge it. Now there you go….. A nightmare that could only happen because I was trying to save time take loads of pictures and run the GPS all at the same time….. Good bye battery

Though with all those time saving Apps and stuff I must admit I will stick to the method that I like to use… the good’ol piece of paper with what I have written on it…. And to manage my way through the aisles of the grocery store… I will take my chances without GPS…. I like challenges and there is no better place than at the grocery store!

So, should you be thinking about going to the grocery store; remember your shopping list and make sure your battery in your Smartphone is fully charged or else…

Deodorants

This is probably a product that lots of people buy, but have you ever thought about what was written about the product and how it is going to give you a whole new experience in life….. Deodorant here I come!!!

I recently started reading the ads for deodorants and what the companies wrote about the product promising me an earth moving experience if I buy their product….. The question is “ What to buy”??….. Right??????

There is the product that promise no white residue, so that I can wear dark clothing fearlessly….. I never was in fear before when I wore dark clothes and I used a different brand of deodorant ……. Ohha…. Trouble is probably brewing and tomorrow should I decide to wear something dark colored to work, then for sure I could see something on the inside of the garment that I will be wearing. But does anyone see that besides me???? At least no one up to now has said anything to me about “white residue” and I have never worried about it before…. Time to start worrying (I guess)

Plus, the thought of getting caught for a day or two away from home…. Now that gives me a real feeling of protection though from what I am not too sure, but with the advanced technology one defiantly has nothing to fear. Somehow I have never seen technology in my deodorant; okay maybe in the research sure, but in the little container… never!!!
What does “technology” look like in a deodorant stick or spray??? Anyone out there know?????

Then there is the one that is an essential component for the handbag …. What is that, a spare part for my car or what??? And it will help me when I am on the run, so that I won’t asphyxiate everyone around me , because I forgot to apply this product at 10 minute intervals throughout my working day… Keep your distance; I may have body odor.

Everything is also made to keep me dry and smelling great for days…. What happened to washing / showing yourself daily and wearing clean clothes…. Again I am missing something. I was brought-up that you showered daily and put on clean clothes and undergarments.

Somehow that 48 hour bit seems a bit scary to me, but then again technology is in the product and that is what counts!

Women’s Pages

Now gals don’t misunderstand me here, but I was just reading the women’s pages on some online newspapers… Okay, I know you are thinking doesn’t she have anything better to do with her time? The thing is I admit reading those pages while other say …. “Me, I never read that stuff”……

I am always amazed at what I can learn from those pages here are some examples:

1. Getting older changes how you look and feel ….. WOW, I never knew that and that your make-up sinks into your wrinkles…. OMG… Scream out loud!!!!

2. Train my brain not to eat food that is bad for me….. WELL, I’ll just have to have a serious word with my brain later on today before I open the fridge door!!

3. A wooden bottle that I can pour my cheap wine into and should make it taste better…. What do I do if guests are coming around and they see that I use this wooden bottle thing…. They are going to think that I am a real tight wad and probably not drink all that so called great tasting cheap wine…… good money down the drain

4. Names of kids have effects on their careers later on in life….. I bet my mom never even thought about it back then and how many other people are walking around out there too without their parents thinking in advance about what their child’s career should be when they grow up??? I will have to take a closer look at my name and see how much it actually affected my career …. I need facts!!!

5. Knowing about wine in four hours… probably by then I will be drunk from all the wine I drank before so in the end everything tastes good PROST!!!

6. Beauty secrets that will keep me looking younger….. I know now that I will be looking good in no time!!!

7. Last but not least… cook something to eat. Recipes to make your mouth water! I love that first I need to watch my weight take care of my brain; I’m getting older and have the wrong name. Drink cheap wine out of a wooden bottle and maybe get drunk by learning all about wine but I know after all that excitement I need some beauty tips to make me look great again before I start to cook all those great recipes at the bottom of the page!!

Isn’t it just great gals knowing that all this important information is out there to better our lives!! Enjoy it

The Chocolate Bunny

sueromeiser:

An older post but I still like it even today with the memories of Easter.

Originally posted on sue romeiser:

It was brought to my attention that Easter is just around the corner and hopefully the Easter bunny will find his way to my place with his GPS tracking system.

I can remember when I was a kid that was a great time of year and I believed that the Easter bunny visited our house not like kids now-a-days not believing in anything. And if the weather was warm enough we could search for Easter eggs outside; though I did have to be pretty fast because if I wasn’t our dog Cesar would find the chocolate eggs before me and eat them paper and all. The amazing part was that Cesar never got sick from eating so much chocolate with paper and if he did I never noticed it.

But I can remember one Easter that was really cold and the snow was still on the ground so that meant…

View original 408 more words

Take a Walk

Today is national take a walk day where I live…. I guess that means that I should go for a walk today in the inclement weather that we are having… Why couldn’t this day have fallen on a day when the sun was shining? Then I would have been more than happy to go for a walk!! Simple as that…

But no… we are having rain and it is windy making it so that I want to stay inside. But what is “National go for a walk day” anyway? Is this the only day of the year to go for a walk or am I allowed to go for a walk on other days too??? I don’t really need a national day to make me go outside and go for a walk and anyway; Just one day a year…. Doesn’t seem like much to me!

They say that a person should take regular walks to stay healthy and to do that I think you have to walk more than one day a year?? Or am I wrong???? And how many people know that today is “National go for a walk day?” ….. I sure didn’t until someone told me. I have been wandering around all day not knowing this important tidbit of information! I feel somewhat left out of the information chain here and how should I deem the importance of such information too??

Okay, I have always heard people say that going for a walk is a good way to let off steam if you are upset, so does that mean I can only let off steam once a year… What do I do the other days then??

These sort of new days always make me wonder who thinks up such stuff and do they get paid for the idea??? If they do get paid; please tell me where the company is that makes-up this stuff, because if they pay well then I will apply for a job there. Don’t forget to send me the address please!

I can see it now.. Forget my boring 9 to 5 office job! No, I can have a 9 to 5 office job where I can think of special day that should be thought about that no one thinks about…. I feel success is just waiting for me around the corner! I think I will take tomorrow off to celebrate my “idea day” and so please do not try to contact me tomorrow at my office because I am not there but celebrating my new “idea day”…. Please don’t tell your friends about this or else they may want to join in on it too!!

Enjoy your walk or idea or both, because they both can be fun!