Sorry No Selfie Today

It was brought to my attention the other day that young people take at least 30 “selfies” of themselves a day. Where do they find the time???

It got me thinking about selfies and if took 30 of myself in a day …. How would I manage?

So, I guess the first one would be when I get-up in the morning….. You probably would have a heart attack if you saw me, so I guess I won’t post one of me getting-up…. Thank goodness you say!!

Selfie number 2: Just showered, wet hair in my old bathrobe and drinking a cup of coffee… Now that is a picture to share with the world…Or???

Selfie number 3: Brushing my teeth and putting my make-up on all at the same time… Now you say: “that is a picture I want to see”!

Selfie number 4: Me doing the dishes before going to work. I bet you never saw anyone doing that before? Or is there someone at your house who does that too?

Selfie number 5: Standing at the bus stop…. Now that could be an action packed photo. I did a background check, my hair is perfect and I look good until the wind comes along right when the picture is being taken…. Who cares … post it anyway! I am at the bus stop

Selfie number 6: (To be honest I am getting tired of taking selfies and I am only at picture number 6) But the day is young and “Selfies” will make my day better…. Hopefully???

Selfie number 7: forgot to take number 6 … we’ll just skip one! Now here I am waiting for the commuter train on the platform with all the other happy commuters…. Don’t you feel that this is a must take picture to show everyone?? I do

Selfie number 8: at the office… in my office wow… This is a cool place a must picture!!! Of course with me in it…

Selfie number 9: Me by the coffee machine at work… Aren’t you impressed??

Selfie number 10: can’t take it, big boss says no!! Party pooper

Selfie number 11: no group picture either. Everyone in the office is too busy to stop for a group Selfie…. Where is the fun here?? This Selfie stuff is turning into a full time job and I am not sure if I have time to do my job now or should I be taking Selfies

Selfie number 12: Me eating my peanut butter and jelly sandwich at my desk…. Now that is something to write home about!

Selfie number 13: Leaving the office for the day… How do you like me waving at you?? Aren’t I just full of original ideas for my Selfies???

Selfie number 14: Me getting a shopping trolley at the grocery store… I bet you never thought that my life was so exciting? Did you????

Selfie number 15: A gallon of milk in my hand… you never knew that was what a gallon of milk looked like before??? Well, if you didn’t now you know.

Selfie number 16- 29: requires too much energy on my part and the battery is getting low on my Smartphone.

Selfie number 30: in the kitchen again… where I was this morning only now making dinner…. I hope everyone is hungry and likes what I am cooking?

Sorry no more selfies today!

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Perils of Parking

Parking your car/ vehicle can be somewhat of a challenge but then again once you’ve parked your car then you can be off to do your shopping or whatever it is you are doing…..

With the “Where did I park my car App” It is said your worries will be over. I personally have some second thoughts about that, because if you forgot to program your car into the system or whatever it is that you need to do, and haven’t done that then how will you be able to find your car????

It seems to me that that is why I was born with a brain to remember where I parked my car, and my trusty brain cells send their little messages trough my brain to tell me where I had parked my car in the parking lot.

Ok, problems could arise when the parking lot is full of cars that are all the same color and model, and then I would admit that I would have problems finding my car, but what is the likelihood of something like that happening…. Any mathematicians reading this?????
At least up until today I have never experienced anything like that but who knows what the future of the parking lot holds???

Ok, maybe there I am ….I’ve parked my car in a sprawling parking lot somewhere on the planet and have gone off for a day of spending my money on things that I don’t need… then it happens I come out and stand there in a parking lot full of cars all the same color as mine… A nightmare!!! I forgot my license plate number to top it off too… Now what…. Scream!!!

Where is my car… the trusty App is confused because it didn’t realize that sooooo many cars would be the same color and they all have the Parking App… But luckily I noted the chassis number of my car…. I am saved now. I just have to look at the Chassis number App now to find my car. Or wait did I enter the chassis number??? I can’t remember because I don’t have the remember App …. OMG!!!!!

I think my brain may blow a fuse and is there an App for that too???? This whole parking issue has gotten my brain into a tizzy and I hope when I go outside after that then I can find my way to the garage and find my car parked there, and hopefully capable of all this without GPS & an App… Now that sounds like a challenge to me!!!

But maybe to avoid the where do I find my car issue; I’ll just ride my bicycle instead and save myself the whole problem of having to look for” where did I park my car”. Problem solved and I am thinking about the environment and doing something for my health…

Ride a bicycle and all your parking problems will be solved and you will feel better too! Enjoy your ride!!

App to Happ

Now there’s finally something that will make my day a happy one – the “happy app” or if I need to lose weight the –”weighty app” ( the real names I don’t know) but to just stare at the screen of my cell phone and be hypnotized into thinking that I am happy or will lose weight seems a bit farfetched. But if you have more money than you know what to do with then by all means beeeee cooooool and buy the thing.

I have made-up some pill color examples :

I can see some positive advantages to getting one of those little pictures of a pill…… I show the green pill a symbol for money to my guy when I am a bit strapped for cash and after 30 seconds he says” Honey how much do you need?” – I feel better already just at that thought. No need to worry. Or it could be great at the office. Just imagine, normally you worry about how can approach your boss for a pay rise???? No problem!!! Just show your boss the screen of your cell phone with the “green pill” on it and after 30 seconds…. He/ she says; “of, course you can.” Now that’s something to smile about!!! So I am happy…..

Then there’s probably the”yellow pill” for the day when the sun isn’t shining. Again look at the little “yellow pill” and there you are sitting on the beach enjoying yourself soaking up a little sunshine. The wonders of the imagination… Mine still works, thank goodness!
But this app could be a real nerve saver at the office when everyone is in a bad mood… go around to your colleagues and show them the app and I am sure that would lighten their spirits up. But be careful the boss doesn’t catch you and get mad at you, because then you need the “yellow & black pill” – for how to make my boss in a better mood – use sparingly.

With the “black pill” one should take heed and not over do it, but if you want others to be in a bad mood , because maybe your spirits are down then this “black pill” is good….. Can’t be happy all the time! Just a quick glance at the” black pill” and it makes you feel that something isn’t going the way it should be… a gray cloud is looming overhead!!

Then there’s the “pink pill” for gals…. USE WITH EXTREME CAUTION!!! This is the shopping pill. Just a quick glimpse at this pill and you are in a trance and ready for a day out at the mall…. But beware; do you have enough small change in your handbag for this adventure?????

Guys there is something for you too – the “orange pill” this little pill once you look at it puts you in the right frame of mind for an evening out with the guys to watch the game. NOTE: this is not recommended for gals!

And not to forget the “invisible pill” this is for those on diets. Just one look at the “invisible pill” and your hunger is cured. Don’t know the exact scientific principle but, I guess its trial and error with this one and no guarantee.

I wonder if you need a prescription for these pills and are they sold at your local drug store alongside the aspirins and such???? Next time your there could you check for us? – Thanks

Love

Love – What is love? A good question if you ask me, ok, you didn’t. But I got wondering about the word “love” and its meaning and what does it mean to people.

Yes, tomorrow is the big “I love you” day. But even after reading all the definitions of the word love and what scientists say love is. I am still wondering about the word……

I asked some of my friends what the word “love” meant and I got many answers to my question and it didn’t always have to do with a relationship with someone. Love spread far and wide and wasn’t limited to another human. So, what is “love” if it doesn’t only have to do with another human????

• enjoying a meal – I loved that

• a movie – I loved that movie

• the beach – I love the beach

• a glass of wine – I love this wine

• a beer – I love beer ( didn’t want to leave the beer drinks out)

• my car – I love my car ( how true in our house- who/ what does my guy love more- me or the car???)

• a walk – I love to take a walk

• a book – I loved reading that book

• coffee – I just love this coffee

• cell phone – I love my cell phone ( would be lost without it!)

• a day out – I just loved our day out

• my shoes- I love my new shoes ( gals – I couldn’t forget us)

Those are soooooo many things with the word “love” and it seems that we really never think about how often we use the word “love” and that it doesn’t have to do with real love… It’s just a saying or a use of words in a sentence with the word “love”, but do we really mean it when we say “love” in those sentences????

Maybe the word “love” should be reconsidered and then I would really know what “love” is? Because it seems this word cannot be pinpointed to a definite thing or person…… Love is everywhere.

Take time for “love” and not only for that one day a year but every day and maybe “love” can be enjoyed then in all its aspects….. Love is a great word!!

Endless advice III – The End

With all the endless & excessive advice around I thought it was only proper to mention the ending of a relationship too. I mean really these things do happen today and so one shouldn’t forget these wonderful words of wisdom from the knowledgeable experts the- scientist.

Now that you know you want to dump your partner you just need to plan the right strategy… but what could it be and why do you want to leave your relationship???? Just question after question and I still don’t know what I should do here. I need help!!!

Maybe my guy is cheating on me… now to find this out and there are 7 signals for this too. Hummm, ok he never comes home on time and has the smell of some other women’s perfume on his clothes… Definitely a good indicator???? Or it could be that he wants a newer model that has a new guarantee and the parts are in better shape. I could worry myself to death just trying to come up with the 7 signs of cheating.

But it could be that people have just drifted apart and maybe that’s where the 7 signs that a relationship will end comes into play. Stress is everywhere and how to cope?????

Though the 7 signs that things aren’t going too well could be easy to figure out. At least I think so……….

1. You never talk to each other…. A very obvious signal if you ask me.

2. Everyone does their own thing…… Ok, if that’s what they want.

3. Separate bedrooms….. Could be that things aren’t looking tooooo good.

4. Communicate only via your cell phone or leave a note in the kitchen…. Not a good sign and heading to the road of disaster.

5. You get a letter from your guy or gals lawyer…… I think this really means the end is just around the corner, so start packing.

6. The dog doesn’t like you anymore…. That is the worst thing that could happen!!!!

7. Your stuff is waiting for you on the front porch when you come home from work….. It’s over, sorry!!!!

Boy I managed all that and still am alive…. But then there are the rules I need to follow too to break-up. What should I do and where do I turn….. This is really confusing to say the least and what will my mental state be when this is over???? That isn’t mentioned in the advice, and so I feel as if they have left me hanging. I want answers!!!!!

What I would like to know does any of that endless advice out there really work and who thinks it up??? I don’t know a sole who would even consider any of that nonsense that is written.

Enough for now; I am finished with the endless advice about relationships and whatever direction yours is going I am sure you can manage without all the endless advice floating around!

I Forgot My Phone

The worst thing has happened to me today that could make my life come to an end…. What you ask??? I forgot my cell phone at home and I was exposed to the world as it was years ago. A scary experience to say the least!

But thank goodness that my brain still works and I could remember all the important telephone numbers. Ok, I’ll admit I had a tad of a problem with some email addresses but then after about 20 minutes they finally dawned on me… What a relief!!!

And I must say “Thank you brain.” My faithful companion that has been with me for years!

Though most people I met throughout the day could not fathom how I managed to survive and acted as if that was the mortal end of life because I forgot my cell phone at home….. How could I do that???? To be honest I almost gave myself a heart attack when I noticed that my trusty cell phone wasn’t there in my handbag and I knew that I had forgotten my faithful companion at home on the counter….. There all by its self on the counter ringing away and no one was there to answer it… I was rather thoughtless forgetting my beloved cell phone! Wasn’t I?

But once I was able to pull myself together; I thought ok, if you want to speak to me you can call my office number – so use it!

Somehow my lunch was enjoyable without that menacing thing there hanging around my neck (literal sense). I was really free to eat and chat without having the feeling I need to look at the screen of my dumb phone. How wonderful life can be!!!

Later on at a meeting…. Note: I was on time!!! This happened without being reminded by my cell phone… The wonders of my brain!

Ok, like always there is someone there whose humor isn’t how I see things and said to me “How did you remember the meeting without being reminded by your cell phone?” At first I would have liked to punch the guy – but I thought the better of it. I thought to myself that was a sad and stupid question, because isn’t that why we have a brain to remember things with??? Or has it been replaced by the cell phone??

A very interesting question indeed……

But now my day has come to an end and now at home I see my faithful cell phone just blinking away waiting patiently for me to pick it up and see who called. So, If I missed your call today sorry!

SORRY NO TIME FOR FRIENDS!

Do you have time for your friends? The scary truth of the matter is that since the cell phone was invented no one has time for real-time friendship…… Where have all my friends gone??? Anyone seen them around? I better start looking for them now before it is too late.

It seems like people are spending more time with their cell phones then taking time for a real life conversation and that some folks have just had enough of it and said to the person that they don’t want to be their friend anymore. I am glad that I haven’t been struck with this disease!

Why has the cell phone become soooooo important to people and they are letting it take over their lives????? It’s a tough question to answer… but maybe you know the answer?

That little device seems to have made it so no one knows how to talk anymore or when you are talking to someone and your cell phone rings then all of a sudden the person you were talking too is forgotten and the phone is more important and to see who sent me a message or what is going on in my social network. How sad; I say. Why should the cell phone have to control your life? We lived years without it and somehow we were always connected and in the loop.

The wonders of yesteryear… Somehow back then I knew what was going on in my friends lives and I had time for them because we weren’t distracted by some device that wanted to inform me that someone in the virtual world out there has just posted a photo of their new pair of shoes or some other useless piece of info that I really don’t need to know.

But then again with the right cell phone I am in and hip and up-to-date in the virtual world but the sorry truth is that my real time friends aren’t there anymore or just don’t have time for me either because of their virtual social networks…. Will the spoken word get lost to the text message and correct spelling will only be able to be seen in a museum that shows books that were printed before a certain date???

The thought of spending hours on end with my cell phone texting messages or networking would be boring and it just doesn’t replace good friends and conversation!

Take time for real time friendship; it could be more fun than texting if you try it!

Out of office – no reply

That’s the sentence I love to write when I know that I am going on vacation and won’t be in the office for the next two weeks, so I want to tell the world that I am not sitting at my desk waiting for your email. So leave me alone!

But sometimes people forget to change the message and there you are sending them an important business email only to receive an answer that says “out of office on vacation”. Then I hate that sentence because I know they are back at work and sitting at their desk and probably drinking coffee and reading the newspaper or showing everyone their vacation photos.

But then there are those who forget that little message and off I go and write my email containing all that important stuff and after a couple of days waiting and still no reply; I decide to give that person a call and a polite PA will answer the phone and say “I’m sorry but they are on vacation for the next 2 weeks.” I could explode in such cases because it is something important and I need an answer. They don’t like me …..or anyone else for that matter – so I don’t feel so bad now.

Though I know vacations are important too but one mustn’t forget to tell some other folks too who may need to know that information. Though I will admit I would never call anyone when they are on vacation. That would be a nightmare in itself. There you are having a great time on the beach or wherever and all of a sudden your cell phones rings to tell you that you have emails to answer. The day is ruined!!

I read that a lot of bosses expect their employees to be on call on vacation if anything important pops-up. What’s important I ask? Because, what is important to one person isn’t always important to another person and I would not want my boss sending me emails about irrelevant information just so that I should answer them.

I wonder how many people in the world ignore those sorts of emails and get on enjoying their vacation instead of thinking about work? I bet there are quite a few.

Enjoy your “out of office” time and then there’s no reason to reply.

Passing away of a loved one with a coffee in your hand!

I just read the craziest or the most tasteless thing- depending on how you see it. A funeral home plans to open a coffee shop on its premises in a room next to where people are morning the passing away of their loved one.

I would not want to work in that coffee shop and be in a room next to where someone is in a coffin waiting for their burial. It seems everyone is only out to make money and not do anything for anyone else, especially grieving relatives. Funerals cost enough and I am sure that funeral home can afford to give the grieving souls something to drink for the prices they charge.

There is the person in their coffin and if they only knew that all their relatives would be sitting there and listening to the service with a cappuccino in a paper cup in their hands; I am sure if the person in the coffin could- they would sit-up and say “Hey, show a little respect for me and forget the dam coffee for a while!” because once the coffee is there then comes the cell phone for the next distraction to text your friends to say –I’m having a coffee a at a funeral, and it tastes good too.

Or during the service someone decides to get up and get themselves a cup of coffee not even realizing what they are doing but only thinking about the coffee and forgetting about the service for the person who has passed away.
I feel sorry for the person in the coffin!

Or another problem could arise from such nonsense- The pole bearers are standing around outside having a coffee and a cigarette and forget all about their job that they have to do and then someone has to find them and get them to come inside and do their job.

At least someone will have a job even if it is in a funeral home. So I guess that is good, because otherwise I cannot think of one good reason for the coffee shop to be there!

The world seems to be getting crazier and crazier. Ok, I accept the online condolence book, where everyone can write something and the memories are kept alive online for eternity.

What happed to the saying you should respect the dead? It seems like always those words or thoughts do not come into the scene anymore- only I want to make cash even if the people are grieving!

I guess everyone has to decide for themselves now-a-days how funerals should be arranged. I can only say right now- when my time comes I do not what my friends or family there looking at me with a paper cup of coffee in their hand!

Respect your loved ones when they pass away and forget about your coffee for a few hours.