The morning show… Good morning on Sunday ©sueromeiser

Well as you know we all (well most of us) watch the morning show to give us an insight into our day and to inform ourselves about the events around the world.

As a gal who loves to watch TV and keep herself informed in these trying times, I have started to watch the morning show. There I sit in my living room with my trusty zapper in my hand and I zap through the channels in the hope to find a program that would interest me. I mean really there are the business programs reporting to us the latest stock market activity… Which again this jargon can be really confusing and sending my brain spinning…. OMG!!! What are those people talking about???? I need help just understanding the whole thing. Plus, the events like crimes and such about how the bad people in the world do bad things to other people…. That is really sad, if you ask me… What is the world coming to????

Then comes the tidbits about what is going on in the world of entertainment …. NOW …. That’s for me… seeing all those stars and getting a glimpse into their everyday lives. I mean really what those people are up too and what kind of houses they live in… it is just an OMG moment!!!!

After a few commercials which offer me the opportunity to spend my money on things that I don’t need… I love commercials… There was one for some gardening stuff… Garden here I come, and it is true that gardening season is starting… Folks get out there and get that garden in order, now you have time…. At least I do!!

Thank goodness the commercials are over and I can finally get down to watching some serious television where the presenters talk about all kinds of stuff were they try to make the viewer feel like they are sitting with them on the hosts sofa presenting their show…. I wonder how much money those presenters make???? Maybe I should apply for a job as a morning TV host…… There are bright colored letters is my name and the world can sit in front of their tv’s and watch me present them the morning show…. WOW!!!!!! Stardom here I come….

I am getting bored watching tv because I normally don’t watch soooooo much tv, so maybe I should do something else???? Like go for a walk and get some fresh air or like I read the other day, which I found really interesting, learn something new while you have the time now instead of vegetating at home doing nothing…. Those are really great tips and can be fun too! Thanks to those TV folks for inspiring me!!!

So, to all those morning TV show fans…. Enjoy your morning show and as they say…. Stay tuned for the next episode… Have a great day!

Ahoy….. My life’s an App Mar 5, 2012©

Though in these trying times one must stay focused and have a sense of humor, so I thought it would be fitting to bring a bit a humor into our dull home office days by reposting an old post from a couple of years ago. Enjoy and I hope it brings a smile to your face.

My life’s an app Mar 5, 2012©

Remember the days when you used to use your brain to think and answer questions when someone asked you something, and now-a-days the brain seems to be a stagnating mass within your head.

I can remember when you read something about something and actually remembered it or if you didn’t you could look it up in an encyclopedia and there you found the answer to your question and all this without an app.

I think back and ask myself: “How did I ever manage to get through my day without an app?” And the funny thing is I am still here and my brain still works without an app and I can remember information. I do not want to get addicted to an app. What happens if it is wrong? Then what do I do? Has anyone thought about that or are they trying to invent an app for that?

The other day at work we got talking about the world and stuff like that and one of my colleagues asked me what the longest river in the world was. ( I knew they wanted to see if I could manage without an app.)I answered without hesitating – the Nile and 2nd is the Amazon and 3rd is the Mississippi. Of course no one believed me and they said “well let me check this out because I have an app that will give us the answer.” I thought to myself “ok”.
Well low and behold I was right, and I knew this and the information came directly from my brain cells. Amazing things brain cells. Those babies can really remember things and process information and help you with all sorts of things and this all without an app!

Sorry, got side tracked there with my brain cells. My colleagues then asked me another question and I was right again and then they got a bit sarcastic and said that I must sit home every evening and read up on such stuff. I had to laugh at that and said they maybe should read something and not always be dependent on an app.

Everywhere you turn there are these bloody things.

Apps for weather – as if I can’t look out the window and see if it’s raining or not.

Apps for your wardrobe – it’s a sad day when I can’t figure out what to wear from the clothes that I have hung in my closet.

Apps for a coffee shop – what happened to asking someone where a good coffee shop is? An app can’t know this or do apps drink coffee secretly?

Apps to locate you – I don’t want everyone to know when I am sitting on the throne or is that important information for everyone?

And those are just a few. I could write a list that would be endless and that I don’t want to do.

I was actually thinking about creating a group called “ I want to keep my brain and not let it turn into an app.” Though I don’t think that many people would be interested in my group because everyone is busy with their apps trying to find out about the group and then only to be disappointed by saying that this group doesn’t have an app and that we use our brains and communicate with each other the old-fashioned way by talking to each other (those were the days!).

Try going through your day without an app and I bet you can have some fun.

Computers without Compassion

Somehow computers have no compassion for their owners and think they can do whatever they want to. Devices can be so devilish can’t they?

Ever notice when you are typing away at something and accidently how.. Don’t ask me but touch the wrong key and all that great text that you had been writing seems to have disappeared for no reason at all. And I know in my mind and I am 100 percent sure that I did not touch any key that had to do with delete!!

I think computers sometimes want to make my life very difficult and then there is the language business… Which English do I choose??? My golly I am writing in English and English is English isn’t it… No not according to my computer… It gives me a choice of a couple to choose from. All I want to do is write a couple of simple sentences and not some literary work of art.

But, no my computer has to make some suggestions as to how the word/s should be spelt. Doesn’t my computer have a heart for me??? I say, NO it is just waiting for the moment when I turn my back and it will do some odd thing and my text will disappear or the font will change on its own and I am left at the mercy of this electronic device.

I always try to be nice to my computer and treat it with care and understanding, but I wonder sometimes does it have bad days too???

I think when my computer is having a bad day it seems to make a lot of suggestions as to how my sentences should be constructed, and believe me I do not like the suggestions either. I know what I want to say and I don’t what to write like a machine. I am a human and what to be creative and if my style of writing isn’t according to the computers thoughts… Too bad, sorry computer, but I can be a bit heartless to at moments! I press the button and say “ Sorry pla I don#t like your suggestion. Mine is better!! And look at my last sentence the computer is trying to play tricks on me and make it look like I can’t write…. I wanted to say: Sorry, pal I don’t like your suggestion.

Though computers do have a couple of advantages when compared to…… remember back then the thing called a “typewriter” Now that was really something. You made a mistake and you could not always delete it, but instead you had to get a whole new sheet of paper and start over. And of course you always made a mistake on something that was important that you were typing… or another famous one was you finished typing took it out of the typewriter and started reading it and notice in the middle of the page some spelling mistakes, and then what.. Start over again… But you knew how to spell back then because there was no spell check and your brain held a vast range of words that could be called-up automatically when needed.

Oh the fond memories of the typewriter, and the all time famous one I as a onetime high school student remember was the typing class for girls, were we had to learn to type so many words a minute.. I will admit that was not a strong point for me because I was defiantly not cutout to be a typist. But there were some girls in the class who were faster than light with their 60 words a minute and if I was lucky I managed 30.. So that destroyed my chances of become a career typist. Though I will admit I don’t regret it either.

Yes, times have changed and here we are typing away with spell check, sentence correction and language recognition all in one.

Enjoy typing!

Crossword Puzzle…

Did you know that the good ‘ol crossword puzzle is a 100 years old or at least that’s what I read. Has it been around that long???

I can remember my gran always doing those in the newspaper or those books that you could buy filled with those puzzles and she would sit there for hours or at least it seemed like it and she would do those puzzles. Whether she had the right word or not I’ll never know. Then my mom started doing them when she was bored… a great time killer back then before the internet , and it seems that people are still doing them, maybe it’s something that will last forever and not get lost in the hordes of game apps.

Crossword puzzles are fun and it always makes me think and try to find out which word belongs in the space and then connect it with the other words… Guessing at its finest!! Sometimes I haven’t the faintest idea what word they are looking for, but I keep on trying… my brain needs to know more words!!!!

It is unbelievable how many words you can store in your brain and remember how to spell them correctly too.. Somewhat of a challenge but again I’d don’t use a spelling app… good’ol memory at work!!! Just amazing if you ask me.

Those folks who make-up those crossword puzzles must take a lot of time to make them and how many people are making them??? That I would like to know… Any answers out there?? Plus, crosswords are in so many different languages too.. WOW!!! And how long do they spend on making each crossword puzzle, because some are easy and others are very difficult. Or is everything computerized today and the newspaper folks just press a few keys and a crossword puzzle is created with the crossword puzzle software??? So many unanswered questions… I need to call my local newspaper for an answer.

That’s enough about crossword puzzles, because I need to do the one in today’s paper now.

Enjoy your crossword puzzle today!

I Forgot Your Name Today

I forgot your name .. that seems to happen to all of us sooner or later, but we never seem to pay much attention to it and take it in stride or say that comes with age… Well, thank heavens that it doesn’t come only with age !!! My life is saved…. Thank you scientist

It seems that nowadays that our brain has been transformed into some sort of computer and that when it is consolidating its files we seem to forget other people’s names.. Now that is something… Isn’t it? I always thought my brain was you know like you learned in school this mass inside your skull but who am I to know and since my brain has a couple of years wear and tear I guess it works differently than the newer models of brains out there?

They say it takes time to remember things and once it is stored in the name section of your brain … well then you are on the way to success and if you’re having a tad of problems on that day then please do try and avoid meeting too many new people. I guess the scientists know what they are doing but do they know the names of their colleagues and if not then what do they do? Also it mentions that they studied snails and I must complain here because my brain cannot be compared to a snail and do snails actually have a brain?? Any biologist reading this?

But the whole problem of forgetting names can be easily solved and be the hit of your next party. You’re guessing or thinking … what the heck is she talking about, well it’s simple.

The next time you plan a party and invite a bunch of people who don’t know each other; then all you have to do is buy those labels that say “ Hello” or “My name” and then the person can print their name in the space and then stick the label onto what they are wearing and there you go…. No more forgetting people’s names and after a bit everyone can remove the labels and then you can play a guessing game of who’s who and then you can really see who remembered who is who. Of course after memorizing the names and playing the game the winner should get a prize for their outstanding ability to remember everyone’s name…. I would probably lose here but it could be fun with the right group of people.

So the next time you are invited to a party don’t forget your name tag otherwise you could hear…. What did you say your name was? I forgot it

Perfect Day Today?

The perfect day has finally arrived and we can now all enjoy it if you have enough time and don’t work otherwise I don’t think the perfect day would work??? Or am I missing something here….

In the perfect day you only have about 36 minutes for work, so how do I manage a perfect day when I have to work 8-10 hours a day???………The answer is easy; fit this into your day and you will have a perfect day.

So my perfect day in a week would be as follows:

Ok, forget taking a shower and getting dressed after I get-up because that just doesn’t seem to fit into the plan for a perfect day, so I’ll go to work in my pj’s( I guess). Note: the scientist seemed to forget that people normally get cleaned up before they leave the house… Where were their brains???? That question you can answer yourself. Thank you

Well, I do have time for breakfast, say about 15 minutes and then I’m out of here and on my way to work. Another problem there is only 33 minutes a day allotted to commuting. Now what???? I feel my day may not be sooooo perfect now! But I am sure if I leave out something else I will be able to have a perfect day. But all the other stuff in a perfect day is fun too…. I want a perfect day!!!!

Finally at work now I have 48 minutes for my computer, so I’ll have to stretch this out over the day otherwise I may not look busy. So, I think I will make a couple of calls to my friends and so that gives me about 58 minutes divided by 3 and so each for my friends get 19.33 minutes of my time. I better set the timer so I don’t go over 19.33 minutes. I hope my friends won’t get upset??? But then again they want to have a perfect day too….

Now that I have called all my friends I have 78 minutes to relax and think about what I can do the rest of my perfect day. But the sad part now is none of my friends have time to meet-up this afternoon because we could spend a whole 82 minutes together on a normal perfect day. Where’s my perfect day?????????

But I could have a little nap at my desk- I have 46 minutes to shut my eyes. Though with this perfect day I still haven’t done any work and when the boss comes into my office then it will definitely NOT BE A PERFECT DAY!!!

I still haven’t had a perfect day at work, but instead I have gotten some strange looks and asked by my colleagues at work “Why am I still in my pj’s” – I said today is a perfect day and there is no time for getting dressed in a perfect day. I am not sure if my answer satisfied them or they just thought that I had gone bonkers. I would tend to think the latter that I had gone bonkers!

Ah, forget work I’ll just go home and maybe go shopping there I have 58 minutes.. I better be quick or else I won’t be able to fit all my shopping into my perfect day. I am starting to feel tired again but since I used up my nap time earlier I have no more time for relaxing…..I’m starting to feel stressed out… what should I dooooo????

I’ll just go home and putter around the house for 47 minutes and then watch some TV until my guy comes home and then I have 50 minutes to whip us up a great meal. I hope I can manage that job??? Great thing about a perfect day there is no time left for arguing about something. Now that does make for a perfect day.

The highlight of a perfect day is that you have 106 minutes for you partner. Now that’s something or??? What you do in that time is up to you. I know what I would do and timing is of the essences. Don’t want to ruin a perfect day… eh??????

Enjoy your perfect day where ever you are in the world and don’t forget to keep an eye on the clock or else you won’t have that perfect day…. Enjoy yourself!!

Bedroom Blues

Another bedroom problem has been brought to my attention that can dampen the thoughts of romance in the bedroom and it’s not the “I have a headache” either but a thing that can turn your attention somewhere else.

The good’ol book is said to bring this on the “not tonight dear – I’m reading a good book and don’t want to be interrupted because I am at the best part”. Who ever thought that a book could cause arguments in the bedroom?

I never thought of that aspect before now. Thank you scientist for pointing this out to me!

People always say no one reads anymore or is everyone secretly reading at home in their bedrooms? There by their nightstand is a pile of books just waiting to be read and so their partner is left alone to ponder about life or join the club and start reading too.

Yes, reading can enrich your brain, but it is said that most books read by gals are the romantic sort and have nothing to do with reality and what I found disturbing was that I don’t know what guys read. Though I do have an inkling for what could interest them and I am sure they would say it is cultivated literature expanding their horizons with knowledge that will stay with them for eternity. Sounds good but I somehow doubt it.

It mentioned that because the guy or gal or maybe both are reading they don’t have time for each other – oh the bedroom blues!!!

Maybe they should have a set reading time and then they would have time for each other and could program it in the handy cell phone so they don’t forget that – oh , today’s Tuesday evening and that means no book… bad news if one of you is ill. Then well, I guess it’s back to reading a good book.

But books aren’t the only distractions, there’s the TV set that shouldn’t be in the room or there’s the pile of magazines that will never get read. Plus, the other modern distractions like the computer or cell phone.

What happened to the days when the bedroom was the bedroom for peace and quiet and not an entertainment room like the living room? Those days are over and modern times have invaded our peacefulness… oh, this makes me sad!

You see all those great pictures of how a bedroom should look but it is crammed full of things and so how can anyone relax or even think about taking the time for each other?

I ask those designers do they have bedroom blues because of the so many distractions or is it that no one cares anymore about each other and is too caught up with themselves? Any ideas…..

I could ponder on this topic for ages and maybe not come-up with an answer, but I do think it is good to take time for each other and not too forget that’s why you are together.

Lets spend money

Spending money is something that we all love to do and the amount we spend naturally depends on how much we have to spend.

On Saturday a friend of mine gave me a section out of a newspaper showing me how I can get rid of my cash faster then I earn it.

Do I want to buy what they suggest? Maybe-> maybe not

But most things they showed costs a bit more than my change purse holds, so I can be content to look at the pictures and think about whether or not I would buy the stuff. Though I will admit 99.9% of the stuff I wouldn’t buy even if I could afford to buy it and the people in the ads look boring too.

I think I will list them so you can get a better overview and decide for yourself if you want to buy something like that.

1.A car made out of aluminum -> great if you are too lazy to wash it and you never need to worry about rust. Drawback is that only 2 people can sit in it, so no driving around with friends.

2. Handbags -> yes, I have that disease but I draw the limit when they cost more than what I earn in a year.

3.Cell phone with diamonds -> what happens when the phone wears out? Do I get my money back and can keep the diamonds?

4.A pen with diamonds in it -> wow, I need this and where do I use it? only at home because I am afraid someone may steal it from me.

Now there’s the fashion “must haves” and they are definitely things that I would not wear to work, or to meet-up with friends or for a night on the town.

But how would they look on me? I am not really too tall, I’ve got big feet and not as thin as a tooth pick. Plus if I showed up with any one of those outfits on everyone would think that I flipped.

Just imagine -> me out of shape in one of those super mini dresses plateau sandals, a bright colored handbag and lots of make-up.

I would scare my guy away and then all my money wouldn’t be well spent like the magazine suggests.
But maybe if I was driving the car he would overlook how I look and say “ok, I’ll go out with you because you have a cool car.”

Though that wouldn’t help either cause he is only after my car and not seeing my real beauty, and this would get me into a mood of saying: forget all that stuff and enjoy life as it is because reality is better than all that superficial crap.

I think I’ll stick to how things are and not steer towards all that stuff in the magazine because somehow I don’t think any of it would make me a happier or better person. The only thing it would do is make me more broke and then no money for coffee with my friends so that we can sit there and dream about all that stuff that none of us would ever buy.

Enjoy your dreams but don’t let them ruin your bank account.

Junk email

I noticed recently that I seem to be getting more spam/ junk emails in my email in box. You know as well as I do that these junk emails are really annoying to get and that you have to take the time to delete them. A never ending process!

I would love to ask those spammers: Do you enjoy getting spam in your email in box? And I bet they would say “no”.

I love to read the reference of the emails and I wonder to myself do these jokers realize that I am a women???

These can be really humorous from a woman’s point of view.

I would like to list a few here because I am sure there are some of you out there too who have received the same sort of spam.

Just to side track a moment remember when the name spam wasn’t something that you got via electronic post but a product that you could buy in the grocery store that was sold in a can.

I have always wondered what is the connection between these two??? Does anyone know the answer?

Anyways, here are some really great email headers:

1. Lose weight organically – How the heck is that supposed to work?

2. Increase your chest size with pills – Right pop a pill and with its placebo effect I can see my chest expanding two sizes within 2 weeks boosting my ego and draining my bank account.

3. Lengthen your male parts – How should I do this I don’t have any manly parts on my body. Do they know something that I don’t ?

4. The blue wonder pill – What should I do with the blue pill? I thought those were for guys or am I mistaken and is it really a wonder?

5. Meet the partner of your dreams in 3 easy steps – Wow, if life was that easy? Did someone tell them that I was single and only need to take 3 steps to meet a guy?

6. Better your marriage – Now I’m married. I am really getting mixed up. Am I single or married? Could someone tell me???

7. You just won 5 million dollars – That’s great, but how did I win it without playing any lotteries?

8. Play poker – I am not a card player or are they hoping that I will become one?

9. Make friends in your city – Are they saying that I don’t have any friends and should get out more and are they people I want to be friends with?

The list could be endless as to the headers which are on emails but one thing for sure is they can be entertaining even if they are annoying.

I always wonder is there anyone out the in the cyber world that actually looks at these emails and contacts the sender about the product? I am sure someone does.

Can imagine opening email number 5 on my list : Meet your partner of your dreams in three easy steps.

1. Send in $20.00
2. Receive a confirmation that they received your $20.00
3. Receive new email saying you need to send more money because there isn’t anyone in your area for you.
4. Send us another $ 20.00 and we will look again and there isn’t anyone for you – sorry but thanks for the money!

The wonders of electronic post – enjoy your spam headers!