Beany Bye-Bye

Not long ago when two people wanted to part and go their own way;you actually spoke to each other and said that “the relationship” is over…… a situation that requires tackt and nerves to say that….

Then along came the good’old text messaging and so only with a few words and not having to look the other person in the eyes…. Write the text and press “send” and the relationship is/has ended and then a quick login on a social network and the person changes their status to “single” again and now the world knows , with just a quick click you are alone again….

How easy it is to say “good-bye” and I don’t want to be with you anymore….. How impersonal electronic devices and the Internet make the world!

But now there is this so called “bean plant” that can do the job for you as I recently read. Just put the seed in the soil and follow the instructions and then in about 5 days you have a plant and on a leaf is written” It’s over” …. I see this as even worse than a text message, because a text message you get right away and with the seed thing you have to wait. This may make the person think that they are loved and not being dumped, or maybe it’s Good, because in the germination period you may decide to get back together again and dispose of the plant before you can see its leafs….. The wonders of nature!

I wonder if the folks who thought this bean thing up was having relationship problems and didn’t know how to say “good-bye”…… The never ending ways of breaking-up

If anyone out there has tried this method of breaking-up….. We all would be very grateful if you would let us all know how the person who received the ” break-up bean” reacted? 

Life can be painful at times but greenery still has its moments! 

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A Date…. Don’t be Late!!

Since dating just doesn’t take place like it used to years ago where you actually left your house and went somewhere in the hopes of meeting someone that could be just what you’re looking for and give that person your phone number and hope that they call… Not anymore as I was informed just recently… Life is online and that’s where all the great guys are to be found. That was actually something that I never knew before!!! OMG

But how you go about it is even more fascinating, because there are soooo many things that you need to think about and how to write all that online and so forth is just astounding! But at least I know now what to do if I ever go online to look for Mr. Right. Ok, if I follow the things below I hope that I wouldn’t scare off all those great guys out there, but then again honesty is the best policy… Isn’t it????

I have to make a” wish list”: Ok, I am looking for a guy my age and now what????? Oh, I forgot.. I need a questionnaire for all those great guys to fill-out or otherwise they won’t be put on my “wish list”… Guys have your pens ready!!!

The “score card”: A must after all those guys answered the questionnaire and now I have to rate them … Compared to what… No info available for comparison. Need to do extensive research before the “score card” can be implemented.

Now I need to go “Online”: I didn’t know that you had to go “Online” to participate in “Online” dating… How stupid of me!! I would have never guessed that in a million years… Thanks for the tip!

Oh, go “Shopping”: Now, is that for the guys or is that what I have to do before my first date to make sure I look my best… This here seems to be going to my head… I know I look good, so I guess the shopping has to do with the guys or am I missing something?????

My “profile”: it shouldn’t be toooooo long. I was thinking a short expose of say about 10 pages to cover all the pertinent facts about myself and if you manage through that then maybe you will say…. OMG, now that’s some chick.. Isn’t it???? Good or bad I’m am not too judge here it’s up to all those great guy readers!

Make you “curious”: Now that is easy because in my expose it is full of BS anyway and so you guys are curious about what sort of chick is that… Life couldn’t be simpler

Problem –“Don’t be Funny”: Now my life has just ended when I can’t be funny and laugh. Does this mean that I can’t write any funny jokes or have a bit of humor??? Now my life will be boring, because there is no fun in writing anymore and what guy wants a chick without humor???? Ok, maybe there are a few of you out there.

I have to be “selective”: Doesn’t that go along with my wish list or is that for after I filter out all the great guys that have said that they want to meet me?? And if I am to selective then there won’t be any guys because my Mr. Right is in my dreams and not online…. This sounds complicated to me!

Write using “optimistic language”: Sounds too easy to be true… Where do I start with my cheery, happy easy going, positive personality…. Is that optimistic enough??

The last but most important “ marketing yourself”: I guess that is like sort of advertising saying that I am the best chick in the universe or I should write some other nonsense about myself as if I am some sort of item on sale that comes with a 4 year guarantee against rust or what??? But yes, marketing is probably very important and seriousness should not be forgotten either here. Though I don’t see myself as an object to market… I am just a great person with an over inflated ego.. Now that is marketing!!!

So, should you decide to dabble in “online dating” do take into consideration all those important facts before you jump into the online pond of dating!!!

I Married my Smartphone!

The days of smoking are over! Who needs to light-up a cigarette, because there is a replacement for it right in your hand and it’s always there, and knows about you, keeps track of your dates/ appointments and is basically your companion that one cannot do without today…. Our Smartphone, cell phone, mobile phone or whatever you want to call it.

It is simply there and always with you… No one would admit that they are a “Smartphone junky” because it is seen as being fashionable, so you never leave home without it!!!
I am always surprised by how attached people are to their Smartphone’s and I see a new trend on the horizon “Marrying my Smartphone” if you aren’t already married to it. People seem to spend more time monkeying around with their Smartphone’s than with their guy or gal……

An SMS conversation between a guy and gal:

1 – Guy: Ever heard of spoken communication?
2- Gal: Not too sure, let me check the internet to see what that was or is?
3- Gal: That was something that was done years ago before Smartphone’s
4- Guy: oh
5- Gal: should we try
6-Guy: How ??
7- Gal: ????
8- Guy: Huh ???
9- Gal: Date??
10- Guy: y +m
11-Gal: Yah, Fri ev @ 8.00
Now the date:
Real time speaking to each other: hi – hi
SMS:
Guy- Should we talk ??
Gal- Txting is easier
Guy- ok 🙂
Gal- ok 🙂
Guy- Pizza + Beer?
Gal – Do you have the order app for this restaurant?
Guy- sorry no
Gal- 😦 No food… you jerk!!

Is that what dating or communicating is turning into???? I hope not, because I still love to talk.
Then there’s the app that lets you communicate instantaneously, so the sender basically can judge from how long it takes for you to answer as to what you are up too…. Now where’s my life?????

Everyone wants to know what the other person is doing or indirectly even control or distrust the other person to whom they are sending the message too… or it is a plain form of self realization because they constantly need to tell someone how great and popular they are… But are they really popular???

I feel that sometimes my Smartphone is like a big chain around my neck!! Do I constantly have to be sending sms’s???

Wouldn’t it be nicer to call the other person up and hear their voice??? The sound of a real person’s voice can be so nice to hear and hopefully it won’t get lost in the world of sms’s!

Conversation is so nice, so let’s try and keep it alive!!

Marry me … or be free

There is always something surprising around every corner nowadays… The guy asking a gal.. “ Will you marry me?” is definitely a BIG step in their lives let alone it could be a costly one toooo.. That comes just when the thought pops into your mind.

I never realized nor thought that a guy has to go to a training course and arrange a package deal to learn how to “pop” the question. Though times have changed and things are not like they used to be; where a guy met a gal and thought “hey, she’s the right one for me!” and popped the question.

Today those thoughts are out dated…… Now it’s first to the seminar to learn how to get engaged… What do you need to learn.. Just ask the gal if she’ll marry you and if she loves you; I am sure she’ll say YES!!! Does that need schooling to ask such a question and get a package deal for your engagement??? But maybe there is more to this whole deal than what meets the eye????

Yes; the ring…. How big does the diamond have tooooo beeee before she will even consider getting married? There you go problem number 1 before the gal is even asked and where do you “pop” the question???? At home by no means…. An expensive night out and the gal has her calculator with her to figure out is this whole thing worth getting involved in and the poor guy is sweating hoping that he can hook her with his charm and not his wallet. I guess that is what the package deals are for?? Everything is planned down to the smallest detail and your coach maybe sitting at another table signaling to the guy what to do… Boring and not authentic if you ask me.

When I think back…..oh.. That’s a while ago, but still my guy was gutsy and without any special seminars or coaching just popped the question and the rest is history…. I just don’t understand why people have gotten so insecure about such things in life and if I knew the guy I was going to marry went to a seminar and arranged for a package deal engagement so he could propose to me…. Well; I would tell him to stick it right where the sun doesn’t shine. Because why do you need someone for everything you do in life???

Ok, the package deal engagement planer can earn some cash or does the guy get his money back if the gal says “NO”?? He should because if the plan does not work out then that is good money wasted for what…. A date that has gone bad and your planer’s plan didn’t work out.

Guys…. Be brave if you have met the gal of your dreams and just ask her to marry you and not some package deal nonsense that could ruin the moment forever….. Good luck popping the question!

Endless advice III – The End

With all the endless & excessive advice around I thought it was only proper to mention the ending of a relationship too. I mean really these things do happen today and so one shouldn’t forget these wonderful words of wisdom from the knowledgeable experts the- scientist.

Now that you know you want to dump your partner you just need to plan the right strategy… but what could it be and why do you want to leave your relationship???? Just question after question and I still don’t know what I should do here. I need help!!!

Maybe my guy is cheating on me… now to find this out and there are 7 signals for this too. Hummm, ok he never comes home on time and has the smell of some other women’s perfume on his clothes… Definitely a good indicator???? Or it could be that he wants a newer model that has a new guarantee and the parts are in better shape. I could worry myself to death just trying to come up with the 7 signs of cheating.

But it could be that people have just drifted apart and maybe that’s where the 7 signs that a relationship will end comes into play. Stress is everywhere and how to cope?????

Though the 7 signs that things aren’t going too well could be easy to figure out. At least I think so……….

1. You never talk to each other…. A very obvious signal if you ask me.

2. Everyone does their own thing…… Ok, if that’s what they want.

3. Separate bedrooms….. Could be that things aren’t looking tooooo good.

4. Communicate only via your cell phone or leave a note in the kitchen…. Not a good sign and heading to the road of disaster.

5. You get a letter from your guy or gals lawyer…… I think this really means the end is just around the corner, so start packing.

6. The dog doesn’t like you anymore…. That is the worst thing that could happen!!!!

7. Your stuff is waiting for you on the front porch when you come home from work….. It’s over, sorry!!!!

Boy I managed all that and still am alive…. But then there are the rules I need to follow too to break-up. What should I do and where do I turn….. This is really confusing to say the least and what will my mental state be when this is over???? That isn’t mentioned in the advice, and so I feel as if they have left me hanging. I want answers!!!!!

What I would like to know does any of that endless advice out there really work and who thinks it up??? I don’t know a sole who would even consider any of that nonsense that is written.

Enough for now; I am finished with the endless advice about relationships and whatever direction yours is going I am sure you can manage without all the endless advice floating around!

Endless Advice – II

Since I got over the dating dilemma that I mentioned in “Endless Advice -1”, I thought it was high time to mention the relationship phase which can be just as complicated or more than trying to get a date…. The conundrums of life!!

Now that you have hooked that guy or gal you must consider other things and they need your utmost concentration or else maybe….. Something could go wrong and that we positively don’t want.

But the advice is great and you can get your blood pressure up.. that is if it’s a bit low with the 10 ways to win an argument. Who’s betting here and what do you win?? $50.00 and a free coffee at the cafe of your choice, and what if you lose???

Plus what 10 things do I need to know to argue correctly. Just think I have spent years not knowing this and I have been just plain old arguing with my guy, but now with the 10 unknown rules to win an argument I am sure ..oh, I forgot we need a score board then in the kitchen to write down who has won or lost the argument and then we can see who is better at it… no comment here!

Then there’s the things that guys and gals do that can drive each other mad. Now there is a list that I could write that may extend around the globe and my guy may be able to write one about me too.

Somehow my relationship isn’t too fun so far; all that is mentioned are negative things. What happened to the normal stuff like hugging each other or even saying “ I love you” – is that out dated and doesn’t fit anymore in our modern world???

Why do I need to know a bunch of lies that I may need to tell or what are relationship rules??? I guess that is something like this….

1. Now that we are together who makes the coffee in the morning? Me
2. Who does the grocery shopping? Me
3. Who does the cleaning and laundry? Me
4. No staying out with your friends after 10.00pm or else you will be grounded for a week.- Him
5. No more than 1 hour of TV per day. – Him
6. Don’t hang around the house all day …. Instead hang out in the garage with your buddies. – Him

So now that I got that sorted out I guess my relationship is on the right path.. I feel relieved now because I wouldn’t have wanted to start a relationship without some ground rules.

Plus, I have to worry if my guy finds me unattractive too. First I’ve got him now I have to make sure he still likes how I look…. That just takes the cake!!! Boy have they got nerve expecting that from me.

Then there are the things I shouldn’t tell him…. What’s that??? I never tell my guy anything anyways and when I do it goes in one ear and out the other, so what’s that for a dumb piece of advice???

And the best bit for last- only romantic things happen in the movies! What idiot thought that one up??? My guy can be real romantic when he wants to be and I find it really sweet of him and that is in real life and not in some movie!

So if you can survive all the pitfalls and perils of a relationship then you know you are heading in a positive direction with your partner.

Enjoy your relationship!

Endless Advice – 1

It is amazing that where ever you turn or whatever website you visit, i.e. newspaper or the such there are always tips and advice on relationships. How did we manage before the days of the internet???

No internet was there when I started dating to give me all the unnecessary advice to make me worry about if I am doing the right thing or not.

No we had our friends and that was it and amazingly we managed!!! What a surprise…. Or??
We survived our dates we had our sorrows and ups and downs but we just kept on with it and didn’t need a website to tell me which food to eat if my date went bad…. What should one eat I ask???? Chocolate, pizza and other junk food or be levelheaded and eat healthy food such as a salad….. Good question???

Then there’s the worst place to find a guy or gal….. That could be anywhere or is there a guarantee when you meet a person at a certain place that everything will be hunky-dory and if you meet that person in say a DIY store then well … you can write it off!! These problems that one must face to meet someone is burdening….

Or “why are you still single?” – That is a tricky question if you ask me, because there could be many factors involved here. Firstly, is the person really looking for someone and secondly, does that dream guy or gal actually exist??? A good thought. So naturally.. No scientist needed here; the person won’t meet anyone anyways and can say to everyone “No one is interested in me.” Bad luck on your part!

But a real winner is – How to get ready for a relationship. Everyone please tell me how this works… Thank you!!!

Now that I am ready for a relationship… Thank goodness, I was worried there for a moment! And I have a date now… what a relief

I have to worry about how to impress the person…. Pure stress and just the things I have to consider before the date here worries me. If I was single again and had to think about all this stuff I would give myself a heart attack!!

But there is the stuff you shouldn’t do on a first date. I guess that’s like you shouldn’t wear dirty clothes or maybe don’t pick your nose and hopefully go to a nice place and not some burger joint, though being on time could be important too… don’t you think so???

I think this is enough relationship and dating stuff for today, because this whole thing is just too much for me and will write more about it at another time. So for all you out there looking or dating remember don’t forget to follow all the tips and advice out there, otherwise your date may not go off as planned.
Enjoy dating!!

Great Stories are Abound

As I was just reading a couple of online newspapers and clicked on the sections with the amazing BUT true life stories about what people- mostly gals have experienced or what they do.
All I can say is that I seem to have a really boring life. I have never experienced such fascinating things and whether it be good or bad; I just seem to be left out and I don’t even have any gal friends who have experienced such things either….. I must have picked out the wrong friends!!!! So friends the sad truth is that I have to trade you in for a new group who are action packed with amazing stories…. I want action in my life!!!

I want action and gossip in my life not some normal everyday conversation about the latest fashion or my new cell phone or other boring topics. There was a gal who was addicted to eating burgers from some fast food restaurant and eats them for every meal. I really don’t know if I could eat soooooo many burgers because I am not a burger fan. Sorry folks!! But it is something to talk about and hey you make the newspaper.

Though the other poor gal who was changing the vacuum cleaner bag on her vacuum and found a pair of underwear from some other chick – Now that’s a reason to be upset with your guy… or?? Or did she place them there herself to get back at her guy for something???? The mystery of a great vacuum story is coming your way, so stay tuned for the vacuum cleaner saga in your area to find out what happens.

But there’s the chick who sold a relative’s house so she could get a lot of money. How she did this isn’t too clear and somehow I don’t think it would be as easy as they presented it. Somehow journalist today seem to have an imagination beyond belief, but then again they need to make a living too, so hey why not write some crazy articles about whatever they think would sell. I read it and had a good laugh.

Then there’s also some lonely gal who shares her place with one of those gray colored pigs. Now that could be a bit of a shocker if she met some guy and she said to him” let’s go back to my place” – there he is sitting in the living room while she is in the kitchen pouring 2 glasses of wine and the poor unsuspecting guy sitting there with other thoughts on his mind and is then confronted with a pig that crept up behind him… Now that could be a real date killer if you ask me!!!! So gals I would suggest forget having a pig as a house pet; just stick to the normal cat or dog to be on the safe side when you want to meet a guy.

Or to top things off the gal who spent all her money on horoscope calls and the other who spent a fortune on clothes… where do all these folks come from????? I have never even met a person who has experienced anything that would come close to all the articles about the goings on in their lives.
I want action and I hope this weekend that I can experience at least one thing that would make my life as moving as those gals in the newspapers. I will keep my eyes peeled and hope for an action packed weekend.

Enjoy your weekend even if you don’t meet such interesting people!

Junk email

I noticed recently that I seem to be getting more spam/ junk emails in my email in box. You know as well as I do that these junk emails are really annoying to get and that you have to take the time to delete them. A never ending process!

I would love to ask those spammers: Do you enjoy getting spam in your email in box? And I bet they would say “no”.

I love to read the reference of the emails and I wonder to myself do these jokers realize that I am a women???

These can be really humorous from a woman’s point of view.

I would like to list a few here because I am sure there are some of you out there too who have received the same sort of spam.

Just to side track a moment remember when the name spam wasn’t something that you got via electronic post but a product that you could buy in the grocery store that was sold in a can.

I have always wondered what is the connection between these two??? Does anyone know the answer?

Anyways, here are some really great email headers:

1. Lose weight organically – How the heck is that supposed to work?

2. Increase your chest size with pills – Right pop a pill and with its placebo effect I can see my chest expanding two sizes within 2 weeks boosting my ego and draining my bank account.

3. Lengthen your male parts – How should I do this I don’t have any manly parts on my body. Do they know something that I don’t ?

4. The blue wonder pill – What should I do with the blue pill? I thought those were for guys or am I mistaken and is it really a wonder?

5. Meet the partner of your dreams in 3 easy steps – Wow, if life was that easy? Did someone tell them that I was single and only need to take 3 steps to meet a guy?

6. Better your marriage – Now I’m married. I am really getting mixed up. Am I single or married? Could someone tell me???

7. You just won 5 million dollars – That’s great, but how did I win it without playing any lotteries?

8. Play poker – I am not a card player or are they hoping that I will become one?

9. Make friends in your city – Are they saying that I don’t have any friends and should get out more and are they people I want to be friends with?

The list could be endless as to the headers which are on emails but one thing for sure is they can be entertaining even if they are annoying.

I always wonder is there anyone out the in the cyber world that actually looks at these emails and contacts the sender about the product? I am sure someone does.

Can imagine opening email number 5 on my list : Meet your partner of your dreams in three easy steps.

1. Send in $20.00
2. Receive a confirmation that they received your $20.00
3. Receive new email saying you need to send more money because there isn’t anyone in your area for you.
4. Send us another $ 20.00 and we will look again and there isn’t anyone for you – sorry but thanks for the money!

The wonders of electronic post – enjoy your spam headers!

Text Me a Date

As the heading implies this is for both guys and gals looking for the perfect date or partner via texting with your cell phone. I bet you have never really thought about this before or even tried it have you?

Well, I can say I never have but then again I’m from the old school where I want to see what I am getting into and not get a shock of my life… if you know what I mean? Plus the added costs involved with texting may put a dent in my bank account and that I want to avoid at all costs!

But let me explain to you how this supposedly nifty little ritual works if you haven’t already tried it.

You decided that you want to meet someone or are looking to replace your present model be it a guy or gal. Well, all you have to do is sign up with the agency for a small fee of about $300.00 and a cell phone is included in the price but then there are rules you have to abide by and that can be somewhat of a drawback.

You have to text with the person for at least 3 months before you can meet-up and no pictures are allowed to be sent; either of you or of the other person thus creating an air of mystery around both of you.
Doesn’t that sound trilling ??

Plus, there is a small texting fee of 0.29 cents per text you send. But that shouldn’t put you off when you are seriously looking for a new partner or replacement. I calculated 6 texts a day x 6 months = $156.60 -> so the person better be worth it.

You start texting with the person and they describe themselves and what they do and so forth. And you can just imagine girls that could be the man of your dreams and can hardly wait to meet-up with him because you have fallen in love with his text messages and feel swept off your feet. Well the time is up and your heart is fluttering and you doll yourself up for the evening and there he is waiting for you at the restaurant sitting at the table and you wonder to yourself “ is that the guy I have been texting with for the past 3 months?”

Somehow, he doesn’t really look like the description he used of himself in the text message or maybe he had been sniffing the cork when he wrote you and so naturally his thoughts could have been somewhat distorted from alcohol. But, you say to yourself “he wrote such lovely texts, so he has to be a nice guy.”
You force yourself over to the table and he is automatically in love with you. Than what???

Save me!!

I am sure you would be able to get yourself out of this with some sort of trusty white lie; like -> oh, I forgot to take the dog out before I came here and I must rush back home right now or else he may crap on my new carpet. Nothing worse than a stained carpet to ruin your evening.

And there you go your evening is saved!

Now guys, you may be faced with a similar problem with this form of dating too. But, no fears either if the gal isn’t exactly what you thought she would be.

You say to her: Just a moment I need my app for excuses and then you can say -> Oh, I forgot today is Tuesday and every week at this time I meet-up with all my buddies at our knitting group, so sorry I have to rush now because I don’t what to miss out on how to knit a pair of socks. And there you go freed from the turmoil of the date.

I really don’t think the gal would believe you but then again it’s better than telling her straight out that you are not interested.

But I could be wrong here with this and maybe you both may hit it off and have a great time and then it’s money well invested. And if that is true then I hope both of you enjoy yourselves together!