Puff and Play

A little play on words (smoking, playing a game on a Smartphone, and drinking coffee)
The other day at work some guys I don’t know too well started to talk about what they do on their coffee break, and as a typical women who loves to hear about what others do….. I knew I had to listen in….I’m sure some of you do that too or not???

To me it was rather amazing to listen to how they took their coffee breaks… sure there are those who just stand around and sip their coffee and hope to get the low-down on what is going on in the office without actually partaking in any conversation; there are those who take their coffee back to their desks and dream about destinations outside of the office, and the sort who know everything going on in the office (if they actually do…. That could be questionable???)

Nowadays there is a new sort of coffee breakers who say the heck with conversation and absorb themselves in the world of coffee, having a smoke and their games on their Smartphone’s….. That’s today’s world whether you like it or not…. Welcome in the 21st century!!

But what is important here is just to image how they manage to “puff and play” and drink coffee all at the same time…. Being a woman with an imagination I can picture it now as to how they multi-task on their coffee break…..
All you have to do is sit-back and shut your eyes to image how it would be (Firstly, though read below and then shut your eyes to get the full picture..)

Now to do this properly one has to get a hold of the coffee break, Smartphone, ashtray set-up, otherwise forget it! This set- up is for everyone and not restricted only to guys…. Before heading to the break area one must strap around their waist the handy coffee break belt with the built in, pull-out tray, ashtray and Smartphone holder, so leaving your hands free for other important things , should they arise.

You need a coffee mug that is not too heavy, otherwise the tray could get too heavy and tip over and you spill coffee on yourself…. A definite no go in today’s office world! And don’t forget to keep your ashtray clean too.. No old butts!!

Okay! Coffee break time has started and everyone is getting their coffee break waist tray out and securing it in place, Smartphone’s are on the tray charged up for the next round of action that has been burning your fingers, because you had to work before… coffee is in the cup and ciggi in the mouth…. Sort of like those old black and white movies….. Anticipation is mounting, the Smartphone is blinking and you are so excited that you are winning the game you are playing, you are lost in another world no longer at work, but sunk deep within the realms of the game, coffee forgotten ashes falling from your ciggi into the coffee that is on your waist tray…. No one notices… you take a sip of your coffee and think to yourself “who made this S…..?” But who cares the screen is blinking things are happening the Smartphone has taken hold of your senses and you forget the world around you because you want power and fame that the game gives you, and not the desk job that you are doing!

Through all this action and excitement your ciggi has burnt down to the filter and you stand there with just the filter in your mouth, and your Smartphone in your hand and you wanting to drink that beloved cup of coffee, but NO…… the coffee break time is over and now you have to go back to your desk and wonder and wait until the next break comes where you can dive again into the world of adventure, and ciggi’s and coffee…

The boss comes along and says „Coffee break over…. Everyone back to work now!”

That’s life in the office…..

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I Quit!!!

The newest and most impersonal way to quit your job is with your Smartphone app and if it’s a good idea or not that’s another question in itself….

Everything is getting more impersonal and even resigning or quitting your job too. What is happening to being upright and taking hold of your life and resigning in person or even handing in your letter of resignation??? Are people getting so afraid to do anything that they can’t talk to each other or even confront each other when there is a problem at work? A really sad development indeed!!

Quitting a job with such an app is too easy, because you just press the correct setting on your Smartphone and the app does the rest for you (I guess… not exactly too sure how this whole set-up works) and if that is so then there could be many people out of work, because maybe they had a bad day or a tiff with their boss and say… “I quit!!” And without a second thought press that nifty little app that sends a message to their boss saying they quit; without really thinking about the consequences of what they are doing in a moment of anger or being upset.

Now what… pressed the app and out of work… Do you have another job lined –up?? Or are there plenty of jobs around where you are living and if the answer is no to both questions … Then what???

No work.. No money!!! Simple as that.. And now what does one do??? One is left high and dry and no more water under the hull of their boat. Somewhat scary when you really think about it….

The days of thinking about how I should react to something or taking time to cool-off from being up-set and then deciding what to do seem to be disappearing, and being replaced by what could be irrational reactions to a situation at work that could have been avoid if everyone one would communicate with each other instead of texting messages or sending emails.

I personally will stick to the old fashioned method, if I have a problem then I will talk about it and if I want to resign then I’ll write a letter and not press an app on my Smartphone, because I am still a person and am still dealing with real people too….

For Guys who like Beer

While doing nothing all day at my desk just drinking coffee and surfing the internet; I came across an article that is a real “must have” for guys. Naturally, all you gal readers may want to rush out and buy one for your boyfriend or husband so please read on.

I must say I have never laughed so hard reading an article before and my secretary heard me laughing and came in and asked me if everything was ok and when I showed her the article she was in tears because she was laughing soooo hard too.

Guys you would never imagine were you can store your beer when you are out and about and it’s not in a flask either. Though you could put other beverages in there too if you do not drink beer.
Has anyone guessed where it’s strapped to your body???? Well, I will tell you the answer -> Hold onto your beer bottle now -> -> The answer is onto your body under your trousers or jeans and in a plastic thing and the spigot hangs out of your zipper.

My question on those guys who invented that: How can you serve your beer in the public? Maybe someone may think you’re a bit bonkers if you pull out the spigot from your jeans and pour yourself a fresh beer.

Another somewhat disturbing thought is that hopefully the guy is clean down there and is wearing fresh underwear, because I would not want to be served a fresh beer and find out that he hasn’t washed himself and isn’t wearing clean underwear. That thought somehow puts me off drinking beer.
And another thought how do you keep the beer cold without freezing your manly parts off? Do any of you guys have an answer to that ??? And if so please tell me.

But I seemed to have forgotten the good’ol guy side of things here. Guys could sit around and watch the football game together and everyone has their favorite brand of beer with them and the host only needs to supply the glasses or there could be spigot contests to see which guy’s spigot is the longest or you are at a meeting and it’s a warm day and one guy suggests “ How about a beer?” Everyone can get their paper cup out and the guy with the beer unzips his trousers and whips his spigot out and everyone can then can sit back and enjoy a beer. What more does a guy need???

On top of that I have thought of some other obstacles which you guys could encounter with such a great thing. In the summer there could be a problem when you are at the beach because you have to wear a pair of baggies otherwise, the guy would look a bit ridiculous in one of those tighter fitting swimming trunks. Then again it would be great if you are out fishing or even on the golf course -> imagine you are out on the golf course with your buddies playing a round and at the 10th hole everyone is thirsty for a beer; well all one of the guys has to do is whip out his spigot and everyone has their paper cups ready and there you go -> you can enjoy a lukewarm beer at the 10th hole!!!

I wonder how much beer such a thing holds?? Anything under a six pack seems a waste of time to me and wouldn’t be worth carrying around with you.

Plus, another dimension too this whole thing is the dating part. The guy asks a gal out and she says yes, and both decide to take a romantic walk on the beach watching the sunset and while you are walking enjoying the scenery the guy asks you if you would like a beer? You say: Yes

What does the guy do? He whips out 2 paper cups and his spigot from his fly and serves you a beer. That’s what I would call a really great time !!!!! let alone I would laugh my head off, but I know some gals could be shocked and then hopefully the guy has enough manners to say that his beer is in his trousers and ask if it is ok if he takes his spigot out.

But if you are adventurous like me I would enjoy the whole situation because it brings a whole new aspect to the meaning of going out for a drink.

So guys if you want to take your beer with you please don’t forget your beer container with the spigot for your jeans. Enjoy your beer!!!

Turmoil with Toilet Paper

This tidbit of information is something that you must know about.(I am busy tomorrow bossing people around, so I thought I would post it now)

I could hardly believe my eyes when I read that there are public buildings with toilet paper shortages. This means that supplies are running out and that one should always have a spare roll of toilet paper with them whenever they leave the house.
For us gals that’s no problem because we have our trusty handbag with us so a roll can be stuffed in it.
But for guys I see a problem because you can’t walk around with a roll of toilet paper in your hand; though maybe it could be a new fashion accessory for 2012?
Toilet paper holder for guys; a must for 2012 and you could also get a special toilet roll holder for your car and it’s standard in all new models. And the most important “must have” toilet paper App, so you know where to buy the brand you want.

Plus, just image color coordinated roll of toilet paper that either matches your shirt or suit that you are wearing and at the same time you are prepared for anything because you have your trusty roll of toilet paper with you. I am going to suggest this to my husband and he can give a presentation about this to his male business colleagues and they then can decide on how to best approach this problem. And once I know the answer I will let you know. Ok?

Just writing this here gives me a feeling that I must go and check to see that I have enough rolls of toilet paper here because leaving the house without my trusty roll could be dangerous if I have to go unexpectedly and I don’t have my roll with me and there is no one else around with a roll either. Maybe I will go out and buy a family pack later on today and then I am ready for all toilet paper problems.

Think about it- no one ever really thinks about the wonders of a roll of toilet paper. That stuff has been around for years in all colors and quality. I love toilet paper and am not ashamed to admit it. And I bet there’s some of you out there too who love toilet paper but just don’t want to admit it.

There’s the sort of recycled toilet paper that would take the skin off your backside if you used it -> it’s environmentally friendly cause it’s a gray color and after you use it you may need a tube of hemorrhoid ointment to protect you from the environmentally friendly toilet paper. So how am I protecting the environment?

Then there’s the bright colored sort -> My gran (great woman) always had purple because it matched her bathroom and turned the water in the toilet bowl the same color. I used to love to go into the bathroom as a kid and just tear off the sheets and throw them into the water and watch it change color in a matter of seconds. Doing that was better than any computer game and provided hours of fun too.

Now I don’t want to think about what it did to my backside let alone the chemicals that were in it. But hey, I’m still alive and enjoying life. Maybe it is because I used that purple toilet paper. Do they still make it in that color???

Then there’s the normal boring white with its different ply’s now this is toilet paper!
Whether or not it can hold up to the purple stuff I’m not too sure. And the white stuff does not make the water a neat color. So that makes it sort of boring. But it’s probably better for your backside.

So just remember next time you want to go out don’t forget your trusty roll of toilet paper that can provide you with the feeling of security that you need when you “must go”.

TV & Ironing

I know this doesn’t sound like such an earth moving topic but I thought it really is. I had to iron the other day and I am sure many of you love to do this job just as much as I do.

Well, when I am doing this job I always love to switch on the TV and watch some stimulating entertainment that will amuse me while I am ironing. So as I was zapping through the channels I came across a program about mothers looking for wives for their adult sons. Now I thought I have to watch this! It’s a sad day when a guy about 35 years old needs his mom to go on TV for him to find him a wife.

But since I was home alone I thought this is the program to watch while ironing, and thank goodness that I had everything set-up before the program started so I wouldn’t miss a second of the show ( I mean set-up the ironing board and the other stuff plus a good glass of wine to make the job go more smoothly because I may need it by the time this program is over.) I was sure there would be some real interesting guys on this program and I wanted to be on the safe side to make sure that I didn’t pick the wrong man out in my life. I can just image there I am stuck with the wrong model and I have to let the better model slip through my fingers because I wasn’t watching this program.

Gals take note: Do no miss out on such programs if you are unsure of your present model!!!

Anyways, they showed some guy about 36 years old and his mom was telling about all the good traits that he has. I must say he isn’t really my kind a guy -> maybe I’m tooooooo choosy. Though, the guy’s mom goes on as if she is selling a used car and listing the features that come with it. Plus seemingly forgetting to mention if the warranty is still good or not.

I would not be interested if the warranty still wasn’t valid. You know-> just image you take the joker home with you and you find out that all the parts have rusted and that he needs an overhaul, and let alone all the other things that he brings along could be on the verge of needing expensive refurbishing. NO THANK YOU!!!

But one mom listed her son’s traits something like this:

He can repair small appliances -> I can too, so why do I need him, and if he was so good where’s his girlfriend?

Loves to be at home -> What woman in her right mind wants to stay home all the time? Not me! That’s the reason why his last girlfriend probably left him.

Is faithful -> Is the guy a dog?

Collects bottle caps -> only more junk to dust and maybe that didn’t impress his last girlfriend enough to stay around.

But a guy with such traits is really hard to resist.

But please everyone don’t tell my boyfriend about me watching such programs because he may get jealous and who knows he may dump me because he may think that I want to replace him with a newer model.

The more and more the moms spoke the more engrossed in the program I got and so I said the heck with ironing and sat down on the couch with my glass of wine to enjoy the program.

I was sooooo hooked on learning more about these prospective guys because the things they could do just seemed to top what my boyfriend can do. And while sitting on the sofa watching this program there was a short commercial break were you could call-up and say that you found a guy interesting.

I had to fight with myself because guy #2 was soooo interesting and that I wanted to meet him and by the time the commercial was over I just couldn’t think straight anymore. I was in a state asking myself: “ Stay with your boyfriend or dump him for the guy on TV?”

So I started to make a list of things that my boyfriend can and can’t do.

He can’t fix things very good -> That’s why I’m there.

Takes me out -> That’s why I’m there.

We don’t argue 7 times a day -> That’s why I’m there.

So it seems to me now after listing everything that I will stay with him. And that means that I won’t get a chance to meet all those great guys on TV. But then again I am sure somewhere on this planet there are gals out there just waiting to fall into their arms.

I wish all those guys on TV looking for chicks “good luck” and sorry but you can count me out because I have to finish my ironing.

The housewife dilemma

Many women out there may understand this situation each week the same old thing; work, cleaning and shopping. Why haven’t they invented some way to simplify these things?
I know there are appliances that help me but I still have to invest some time to use these things and how much time do I really save that is a matter of how you view things.

Sometimes my husband comes home and asks me:” What’s for dinner this evening?” and I have only been home maybe 10 minutes. I had a long stressful day at work then I had to rush to the grocery store to buy something for dinner and fight the traffic to get back home and then I should have dinner ready and waiting on the table as if I had nothing better to do with my time. You gals know exactly what I mean here.

My husband asked me the other evening while I was preparing dinner: “What do you do with yourself all day?” I could have wacked him with the frying pan that I was holding in my hand, but I thought the better of it and gave him a smug answer. “All I do is sit at my desk all day and gossip with my colleagues and we drink coffee all day.” He said: No kidding, I wish I could do that and starts to tell me how his day was. I thought to myself were you even listening to what I just said? Sometimes I think we live in two different worlds.

Also, recently my husband was with some of his male friends in the living room exchanging intellectual information as he puts it. I call it gossiping, but I bet you didn’t know that men don’t gossip only women do. This is an unbelievable fact which should be studied by some university.
Why don’t men admit that they gossip about things instead of trying to hide it with some other formulation that makes it sound more intellectual? A question beyond answering and not worth having an argument about with him.

Women also have intellectual conversation about things. I always talk(not really) to all my girl friends about how I changed the spark plugs on my car or that I just re-tiled the bathroom because so and so wasn’t able to manage the job, and they say that they too have just recently overhauled the engine on their lawnmower or repaired the washing machine without the help of …… All the while mentioning names of other people. So who is gossiping here? Not me

That’s beside the point and either way at the end of the day it’s all the same we are having an intellectual conversation and you are too.

But onto the cleaning and this is a job which is so moving that I just don’t know how to describe it. I am sure you all know what I mean???
My managing of the operational tasks and task force which are assigned various household duties around the house and with a bit of luck they may get it done without my interference. Please, keep your finger crossed!!!
I have spent many an hour trying to encourage my co inhabitants to do something and at the end of the day I seem to be the one who does everything around the house as if I have nothing better to do with my time.

I have employed a cleaning lady only to be disappointed with the results and to find out when I wasn’t there that she was enjoying herself by making herself comfortable in front of the television set, so I was forced to release her of her duties. Though I might add she was a bit upset about this because she thought that I was over doing it a bit and she didn’t want to miss her afternoon soap that was on. Poor thing and I was in the office with my feet up on my desk dreaming of a warm summer day (BS I say)

Though if I am lucky normally once a year comes the day where you are supposed to be appreciated by someone and they may make me breakfast and then after that I can load up the dishwasher because the others worked sooooo hard preparing breakfast. But I’m never tired! You know the feeling?

Then there’s the grocery shopping oh how I love to do that. Just to roam the aisle alone and ponder about life and take peek at what’s in the other shopping trolleys. But have you ever thought about how much time you invest in grocery shopping? Well I have.

Saving money when shopping is a major task that takes up a lot of time because, if you collect coupons and cut them out & sort them out and so forth.
If I was only paid for clipping out the coupons for grocery shopping I probably would have saved a couple of thousand by now through the years, but unfortunately that’s not the case at our house.

Just image you collect all the flyers with coupons then go through all the flyers say at $5.00 /€5,00 an hour plus the clipping out the coupon time then going to the grocery store and trying to find all the items that you have a coupon for; my guess is my pay would be somewhere around $75.00 /€75.00 a week- not bad and I do this only once at week. But that’s $/€ 300.00 a month or 3600.00 a year; not bad I say; though gratuities would be nice and greatly accepted.(Hopeful wishing on my part)

I know there are people out there that invest more time then I do, so naturally you would earn more.

But shopping in the grocery store itself is somewhat of a demanding process which requires focused thinking and not getting sidetracked by the Specials or other things that you don’t need.

There seems to be something on almost every other shelf; something that we don’t need but it somehow seems to attract our attention and land in my shopping cart. These items seem to have legs and they can jump into the cart when you aren’t looking. You know what I mean. I really dislike these items because most of them are items that are calorie related and as the old saying goes: “over the lips and on the hips” and there goes my weight ….Help me!!!!!

These calorie items are strategically located on the shelves and have arms on them grabbing at you or your shopping cart and sticking to it like it was glued onto it. I find myself having to fight my way past these items and this I do by going down these aisles as fast as I can and protecting my shopping cart from the items jumping into it by sticking exactly to my list. Though it is a tough battle.

Though grocery shopping can be an experience in itself. When you look around at the other shoppers. Some just wander the aisles others run from aisle to aisle as if in a race and then there’s the person who reads every label to see what’s in the product and where it was produced. Plus the fashion show that you get too while shopping can be great because in the grocery store no one really cares about how they look and believe me you can see some eye opening fashions!

Need a good break from household chores then go grocery shopping and when you get back home you are ready for the next adventure that is awaiting you.