App to Happ

Now there’s finally something that will make my day a happy one – the “happy app” or if I need to lose weight the –”weighty app” ( the real names I don’t know) but to just stare at the screen of my cell phone and be hypnotized into thinking that I am happy or will lose weight seems a bit farfetched. But if you have more money than you know what to do with then by all means beeeee cooooool and buy the thing.

I have made-up some pill color examples :

I can see some positive advantages to getting one of those little pictures of a pill…… I show the green pill a symbol for money to my guy when I am a bit strapped for cash and after 30 seconds he says” Honey how much do you need?” – I feel better already just at that thought. No need to worry. Or it could be great at the office. Just imagine, normally you worry about how can approach your boss for a pay rise???? No problem!!! Just show your boss the screen of your cell phone with the “green pill” on it and after 30 seconds…. He/ she says; “of, course you can.” Now that’s something to smile about!!! So I am happy…..

Then there’s probably the”yellow pill” for the day when the sun isn’t shining. Again look at the little “yellow pill” and there you are sitting on the beach enjoying yourself soaking up a little sunshine. The wonders of the imagination… Mine still works, thank goodness!
But this app could be a real nerve saver at the office when everyone is in a bad mood… go around to your colleagues and show them the app and I am sure that would lighten their spirits up. But be careful the boss doesn’t catch you and get mad at you, because then you need the “yellow & black pill” – for how to make my boss in a better mood – use sparingly.

With the “black pill” one should take heed and not over do it, but if you want others to be in a bad mood , because maybe your spirits are down then this “black pill” is good….. Can’t be happy all the time! Just a quick glance at the” black pill” and it makes you feel that something isn’t going the way it should be… a gray cloud is looming overhead!!

Then there’s the “pink pill” for gals…. USE WITH EXTREME CAUTION!!! This is the shopping pill. Just a quick glimpse at this pill and you are in a trance and ready for a day out at the mall…. But beware; do you have enough small change in your handbag for this adventure?????

Guys there is something for you too – the “orange pill” this little pill once you look at it puts you in the right frame of mind for an evening out with the guys to watch the game. NOTE: this is not recommended for gals!

And not to forget the “invisible pill” this is for those on diets. Just one look at the “invisible pill” and your hunger is cured. Don’t know the exact scientific principle but, I guess its trial and error with this one and no guarantee.

I wonder if you need a prescription for these pills and are they sold at your local drug store alongside the aspirins and such???? Next time your there could you check for us? – Thanks

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Endless Advice – 1

It is amazing that where ever you turn or whatever website you visit, i.e. newspaper or the such there are always tips and advice on relationships. How did we manage before the days of the internet???

No internet was there when I started dating to give me all the unnecessary advice to make me worry about if I am doing the right thing or not.

No we had our friends and that was it and amazingly we managed!!! What a surprise…. Or??
We survived our dates we had our sorrows and ups and downs but we just kept on with it and didn’t need a website to tell me which food to eat if my date went bad…. What should one eat I ask???? Chocolate, pizza and other junk food or be levelheaded and eat healthy food such as a salad….. Good question???

Then there’s the worst place to find a guy or gal….. That could be anywhere or is there a guarantee when you meet a person at a certain place that everything will be hunky-dory and if you meet that person in say a DIY store then well … you can write it off!! These problems that one must face to meet someone is burdening….

Or “why are you still single?” – That is a tricky question if you ask me, because there could be many factors involved here. Firstly, is the person really looking for someone and secondly, does that dream guy or gal actually exist??? A good thought. So naturally.. No scientist needed here; the person won’t meet anyone anyways and can say to everyone “No one is interested in me.” Bad luck on your part!

But a real winner is – How to get ready for a relationship. Everyone please tell me how this works… Thank you!!!

Now that I am ready for a relationship… Thank goodness, I was worried there for a moment! And I have a date now… what a relief

I have to worry about how to impress the person…. Pure stress and just the things I have to consider before the date here worries me. If I was single again and had to think about all this stuff I would give myself a heart attack!!

But there is the stuff you shouldn’t do on a first date. I guess that’s like you shouldn’t wear dirty clothes or maybe don’t pick your nose and hopefully go to a nice place and not some burger joint, though being on time could be important too… don’t you think so???

I think this is enough relationship and dating stuff for today, because this whole thing is just too much for me and will write more about it at another time. So for all you out there looking or dating remember don’t forget to follow all the tips and advice out there, otherwise your date may not go off as planned.
Enjoy dating!!

Menacing Menopause

It seems that recently where ever you turn you can read something about the menacing effects of menopause on women. It seems as if it is a disease and not something that happens to every woman on earth. Or is it that guys write those articles about gals going through the change of life??? Maybe they should be in our shoes and see how it really is and I am sure then they may understand us better….. Or at least I hope so.

Though when you list all the side effects; some I think have been with me for years even before that stage of life struck…. That I think my guy can confirm.

I’ll make a little humorous list here just in case everyone reading isn’t up-to-date on the symptoms:

1. Forgetfulness – What’s that??? I’ve had it for years and it has nothing to do with getting older !

2. Hot flashes – Please wear a sweater at our place in the winter, because I feel like it is about 80°F and my guy is sitting here reading the news paper and ice sickles are forming on his face.. Hot not at our place!

3. Mood swings – Me, never and why the h… are you looking at me like that? I’m always calm and cool no matter what!

4. Sudden tears – really great when something has gone wrong. Now I can cry automatically and everyone thinks – oh it’s just her age!!! The wonders of the body

5. Difficulty concentrating – great if you are in a boring meeting at work. No worries because you won’t remember what was said anyways!

6. Confusion – Where the heck am I? At home or at work? Help……

7. Headache- Not tonight dear.. I’m in that phase of life.

8. Weight gain- Ate tooooo much over Christmas , so what has that got to do with age????

So now all you gals out there know what to expect and guys you know what your gal may experience, so enjoy the change of life because it can be an adventure for everyone!

What’s Cooking?

What’s cooking for the meal for that big day can be a tremendous feat if you are not organized to the last second or at least I think so???? Everyone seems to be running around trying to get those last minute things for their Christmas meal or the last minute present because they forgot someone on their list. Well, those things can happen….. I am saved from this dilemma this year because I am for ONCE in my life organized and believe me I find it hard to believe myself but it is true!!!

My guy asked me this morning if I was feeling ok, because I am soooooo organized this year. I told him that I thought for once in my life I want to be organized and have time for everybody on the 25th instead of spending all my time running around doing something. I want a relaxed Christmas and so I will have it!!!! No questions asked here- that is my decision!!!

My tree is decorated and the food is purchased and all my presents are bought; so Christmas you can come to our house. Who says life has to be stressful at this time of year??? Ok, I know thousands of people around the world would argue this point with me, but with a little foresight and planning there is no stress and hey if something goes wrong on the 25th then it goes wrong. I am too old to worry about what everyone thinks of how I do things around my place and if something burns on the stove top then it can be either forgotten or I’ll make something else to replace it… life can be so simple!

My mom was amazing when it came to organizing our Christmas dinner on the 25th and she always remained cool and served up a super meal in my eyes! Mom – thanks for all those great turkey dinners you made us. I know I can cook pretty good but my mom’s Christmas dinner can still top mine. Plus, I’ve never been as organized as she was and thought this year I’ll try her strategy and see if it works….. Please let it work and I’ll be the happiest person on earth

Another thing, I read all those articles about how stressed folks are or will be on the 25th. I always wonder are people stressed so then they have something to talk about or what is it??? Even when I am not organized I don’t feel stressed-out. I think society puts too much emphasis on stress and so everyone is convinced that on the 25th you have to be stressed instead of taking things as they come and enjoying life for a change.

So, relax and take things as they come because then there won’t be any stress and enjoy the day when it’s there!

Cold meals – Cold News

Now there’s nothing worse than being served a cold meal is there? Well, some guy walked out on his gal because she didn’t serve him a warm meal and so said good bye. Ok, not exactly like that but pretty close.

These days there seems to be an endless supply of interesting and moving information on the internet. I am so happy that this medium was invented to enrich my life and inform me about the problems others are having in their marriages.

I never knew marriages could go sour until the internet was invented and informed me of those happenings. I thought life was like on TV back in the good’ol days – when everyone was happy and there was never a harsh word. Ok, I know get real!

Everywhere you look on the internet there is someone divorcing someone because of something or they don’t like each other because he looked at another gal or she left him because he wouldn’t build her a closet for her shoes or some other such nonsense.

What’s the world turning into a wasp nest of divorce on the internet and is everyone really interested in knowing about all those folk’s private lives. I’m not, but I can’t avoid it because it’s there on the front pages of certain papers.

It’s too bad for the guy with the cold meal but maybe he did something to his gal and she finally thought “ I’ve had enough” and so she finally thought I will show you and served her guy a cold meal. Plus if the guy had half a brain he could have warmed it up in the microwave and saved the whole situation.

Nobody reported on why the women did that. I would like to know what made the women decide to do that. Please – tell us all why you did that to your guy because I am sure there was a good reason behind it.

So many stories are like that on the internet and why don’t they print both sides of the story then we readers can decide for ourselves who we feel sorry for and make our own conclusion as to who did the right thing or wrong thing.
Though that could mean extra work for the journalist who themselves are maybe too lazy to ask both parties about what happened or they are only interested in one side of the story and not both sides.

So, journalist next time you want to inform us all about who is divorcing who or some other such earth moving nonsense please give us both sides of the story otherwise it is really boring and not worth taking the time to read.

My Mood and My Glasses

There supposedly are glasses that when you wear them they will affect your mood so you won’t eat so much.

I guess they work the same way as the mood rings from the 60’s or 70’s (can’t remember) but I did own one and may still have it amongst the junk in my attic. Those were great rings cause they changed color with your mood and so everyone knew how you felt. Whether or not it was true; who cared, because it was cool to see the ring change colors!

Well, the way I understand it is with the glasses (though I am not exactly sure) is when you put the glasses on you won’t eat too much. Though I doubt this very much and think it’s just another sales gimmick and think that they actually have another purpose like warning those around you about your mood.

Now I see this as a really great thing because everyone is wearing a pair of these and so you are warned in advance if the other person is for example in a bad mood.

This could be a real nerve saver at home because you know right-a-way what sort of mood your guy or gal is in and this way you can save yourself a lot of agony and nerves. Or you know right a-way when they’re in a good mood too, thus taking the guess work out of things.

The main thing is when you see “red” – watch out!! That means bad mood and if you are not careful that could lead to an argument. That’s a stay away color.

But if you like to take risks, then when you see “red” it is a good opportunity for an argument and so now you have a reason to have one. This really takes the guess work out of arguing and you can plan which topics you want to argue about too.

“Green” means I’m in a good mood and will take you shopping. Great for gals who want a new pair of shoes or a handbag because he will be paying. I love life!!!

But with “Green” it is good if you want to get your guy to do something around the house too because you know from the color that he will repair the leaky faucet or mow the grass.
Saving your nerves and getting the job done that should be done. Again it is advisable to have a list on hand so when you see that his glasses are “green”, then you know what to ask, thus avoiding confusion. I have my list!

“Yellow” means you should be a bit careful because the person is on the borderline of being happy or getting upset. Here you are treading on thin ice so diplomacy is recommended here.

But with “yellow” there is always a slight tinge of the other color so you know which direction the person is heading and then you can either have your arguing list or your “green” list handy and can mentally adjust to the situation.

Plus if you prefer, then write your list on your cell phone with the note app, so then you don’t need to worry about losing the pieces of paper and forgetting those important topics.

I will give you a little peek at my lists and please don’t tell my guy about it cause I don’t what him to know my strategy for arguing or what I want from him.

Red list:

Put the toilet seat down – this drives me nuts!

Uses a new glass all the time – does he really need a new glass for each glass of water and I am not his maid!

Leaves the newspaper all over the place – maybe I would like to read it and not have to hunt down each section or does he think I need more exercise?

Green list:

Paint the kitchen – will only take 2 hours to do and I have already bought the paint.

Trim the hedge – one hour and you get fresh air too.

Take me out – any place he wants, because I am happy he is taking me out!

I know many of you may have some other ideas for each list and may even be better than mine. I just don’t want to press my luck and I would update my lists monthly too.

So, folks if you want to make your life a bit easier then maybe you should consider a pair of these glasses,and since my guys birthday is coming up I think I will buy him a pair and then it will only be smooth sailing in the future because I know his mood.

My Brain

This is something that we all have. Thank goodness mine is still functioning and hasn’t gotten lost to an App.
It is reported that the size of your brain influences the number of friends you have though I find the study a bit questionable because they only checked out less than 50 people.

I never realized before that if my brain was small I wouldn’t have many friends or none at all and if it was crammed into my cranium because it was sooooo large I would have lots of friends.

Personally am not sure where I stand on this scale because I haven’t had my brain measured and am not sure if I have the right amount of friends. Has anyone out there had their brain measured to see if they have the right amount of friends?

I am not even sure if I want to leave the house today because the people on the street may realize the size of my brain and then know how many friends I have. Plus all my friends do they know the size of their brain? I am starting to get scared thinking about all this.

If I go to the doctor and have a brain scan then I would know and could adjust my life accordingly to the size of my brain. I would not want it to be known that I have a large brain and not enough friends to correlate with the size of my brain. Another scary thought for me is if my brain is small and I have lots of friends then my brain may blow a fuse or short-circuit leaving me in a state. What should I do???

Another question is: What about all those people on those social networks who have lots of sooo called friends are their brains large? Or that doesn’t count? I took it that real-time friends counted and not virtual ones.

My brain is now whirling with thoughts about this and I have started to group my friends together and wonder what should I do?

Group 1: friends for sports -> very limited 5 people (small brain)

Group 2: friends for shopping -> large group 10 people (middle-sized brain)

Group 3: friends for meeting-up with -> very large group 20 people (large brain)

After grouping all my friends together I feel my brain could have a problem and now I must consult a brain doctor, and ask: Can I meet with all the groups because of the number of people in each group?

Actually, maybe the study was done so that the researchers could snag some of your friends because they don’t have many themselves and as a result are trying to make me worry about the size of my brain.
I am quite content with my brain and it has been with me for years and helped me through many a situation so why should I worry about its size?

Furthermore, how many friends do I need? I am content with the number of friends I have now and wouldn’t dump them for the world because their great people!

Friends are great people and don’t worry about the size of your brain or else you may not have any friends.

Men and skin problems

While reading the Sunday newspaper I came across a frightening article about men’s skin and stress. I knew right way from the headline that this is a must read and so took that section of the paper into my private library to read because this article required my full attention and I didn’t want to miss out on any important information.

The article mentioned that men’s skin can have very stressful days and this leaves it mark on men’s skin. This I must say got me really thinking about my partner’s skin and I started to worry about him. I hope he is ok? And the article went on to say that with a special treatment and naturally the right skin creams these signs would disappear and that the man would have vibrant looking skin. I asked myself “ What does vibrant looking skin look like when a guy is older?” Can anyone answer this question for me?

After I finished reading the article my partner asked me where was I for sooo long? I answered by saying” I was reading a very interesting article about men’s skin” and my partner just looked at me as if to say: “typical woman!”

I think guys just don’t understand how serious this problem is and if it isn’t taken care of it could spread like a bush fire and be out of control and then who knows what they would look like then. The thought of waking up in the morning next to a guy who hasn’t taken the necessary steps to prevent stressed-out skin would probably give me a heart attack. I mean just image gals you are asleep and the alarm clock rings and you roll over to face your partner and what happens -> dried out stressed skin looks you directly in the face. I could cringe at the thought!!!!

Normally on Sunday’s my partner takes a afternoon nap on the couch and I thought this is my chance to really check out his skin. I knew we owned a magnify glass but just had to find it. After about 30 minutes I found it hidden under some junk in the junk drawer (you know we all have one of these where you put stuff that you may use once every 10 years.)

Anyways, once I found it I noticed he was sound asleep, so now was my chance. Since he was lying on his back it made things easier for me. I took the magnifying glass and started to carefully look at his skin and was shocked at what I saw! I couldn’t believe my eyes-> there written on his face in tiny letters were the words: “stressed-out skin” and this was written all over his face and then I thought should I wake him up or let him sleep? I was really scared now!
But somehow he must of sensed that I was there and woke up and gave me a dirty looked and ask: “What are you doing with the magnify glass?” I answered by saying: “ I was looking at your skin to see if it is stressed –out” and I told him what I found written on his face.

He then said to me “don’t you have anything better to do with your time?” I thought this is something really important and he thinks that I am wasting time. Typical guy I thought!
After he cooled off I explained to him what I found and then I caught him later on in the evening checking himself out with the magnify glass in the bathroom. He came out pale faced and said to me that I was right. He then and there decided that he must buy some cream tomorrow and go to a spa for a facial because if he didn’t his skin would look stressed-out.

I hope he will manage through the day tomorrow with the stressed-out skin not that it affects his working performance because he has an important meeting with some other people. But then again if it is a group of male business men then maybe they could exchange tips on how to keep their skin looking good -> now this would be a good reason for them all to meet-up again next week too and make a presentation about how they tackle this problem using pie charts and diagrams.

So men please remember don’t forget to take care of your skin because stressed-out skin my lead to a stressed-out life.