Looking for Mr. or Ms. Marble

I never before thought about being in love with a marble statue but supposedly somewhere in the world someone is.
This could be seen as bringing a whole new meaning to the words dating and relationships for guys and gals.

I’ll be somewhat old fashioned and start with “Ladies first” and list the pros and cons of such a relationship.

Pros
Your Mr. Marble never argues with you -> now this is a real plus and saves your nerves and you won’t go gray so fast from arguing with someone.

Never complains -> This is even better because there is no one there to say that dinner is cold or his shirts aren’t pressed right and so forth.

Virtually maintenance free -> never have to do any laundry or clean up after him, so this means more free time to do what you want.

There are many other things too that I could list here but then I would run out of space.

Though there are a couple of cons to a Mr. Marble too:

Mr. Marble can’t talk -> this makes for a very one sided conversation and could get boring after awhile, and because I love to talk; I am not too sure about such a guy.

Can’t take me out ->now here’s a real problem. Just think about it; you reserved a table at a nice restaurant and you show up with Mr. Marble and take your seat and he is seated next to you. Well, don’t be surprised if you get some strange looks, and the worst part is when you are finished you have to pay for the meal yourself, plus you never get invited out by Mr. Marble.

I like to be invited out, so this defiantly wouldn’t work for me!

The worst one is driving around in your car. You have to chauffeur Mr. Marble everywhere and pay for the gas on top of that too. But if you own a bicycle you can put Mr. Marble in the basket and ride around with him and be the envy of all your gal friends.

Still somehow a real guy seems more appealing to me. But then again I never had a Mr. Marble.

The worst thought of all is; what happens when Mr. Marble accidentally falls on the floor and shatters into a thousand pieces??? Will you be able to replace him and is he insured with accidental cover?

Otherwise, there could be serious trouble in your life, unless to deliberately threw Mr. Marble on the ground because you had enough of him and wanted a newer model. Now that’s not bad. No arguing crying or divorce. One drop and he’s out of your life!

Now guys, I haven’t forgotten you here either. There’s the Ms. Marble version who will never talk back to you either and can sit next to you hours on end as you watch sports on TV and never complaining about it. Or just plain o’l cruise around with Ms. Marble in the car and be the envy of all your buddies and the advantage of Ms. Marble is she’s a cheap date.
No more spending money on needless dates that don’t lead anywhere because Ms. Marble won’t lead you anywhere either. Ms. Marble will always have a face of stone so no worries there either.

This whole issue brings you to think that times are really changing and if you want to keep abreast of them, then maybe you should consider in investing in a Mr. or Ms. Marble at an unbelievable cheap price of $19.95 plus tax and a five year guarantee against rust. So rush out now before Friday and pick yourself up one for a stress free weekend.

Ink cartridges

Actually I didn’t want to write something today but what I experienced yesterday in the ink cartridge section of an electronics store is worth it.

While I was standing there in the ink cartridge section of the electronics store trying to find the right ink cartridge for my printer; I noticed out of the corner of my left eye a guy about 48 years old(I guess)and I could feel him staring at me, so I turned to look at him and he gave me a smile that said “ Hey, baby want a good time?”
Well, I gave him a look that said “I’ll break your arm if you try anything.” I could clearly see he got the message that I wasn’t interested in him.
But while I was still standing there another woman came along about his age and gave him a smile and was eyeing him. I knew now that I needed to hang around here a bit longer to see what would happen.

Years ago the vegetable section of the grocery store was the hot pick-up spot, but times have changed, now it’s the ink cartridge section of an electronics store. Who knows???

It’s true that you have a large variety of ink cartridges to choose from and it goes without saying that this could be a hot topic to talk about. I mean who wants to talk about cooking anymore when you can talk about changing an ink cartridge and then make a date with the other person.(How moving.)

I can see it now -> He asks you “Would you like to come over to my place and have a glass of wine and we can look at my printer too?”

How can a gal say no to such an offer? I would say “Yes” if he owns the right printer.

There you are you show up at his doorstep and he lets you in and you start with the normal small talk and a glass of wine and then he asks the moving question “ Would you like to see my printer?” I say “ok” and off to his home office it is. He opens the door of the room flicks on the light and there on his desk is an old ink jet printer and I stand there heartbroken because it wasn’t the sort of printer that I thought he would have! The whole time he was in the store he was bragging about his printer and leading me on .How could he do that to me???

I smiled and said “That’s a lovely printer.” But he knew my heart wasn’t there and so I had to let him down gently by saying that my printer is newer and it scans too. He seemed devastated but knew that we weren’t compatible.

Sorry, back to real life. The guy in the store started talking to the woman and asking her questions. That too my surprise she answered until he asked her “Do you want to be my girlfriend?” She told him in no uncertain terms to “ F…OFF!!!” He asked a straight forward question and got a straight forward answer.

I thought wow; that’s how it is now-a-days. Guys ask right out “Do you want to be my girlfriend?” They don’t waste time like years ago trying to get to know you or meet for a date. Now it’s you’re my girlfriend or not.

A tip to all you guys cruising for chicks in the ink cartridge section of an electronics store. Please use a better pick-up line if you want to meet chicks otherwise your ink may run out.