My Horoscope

I was in a real dilemma yesterday and thought if I read my horoscope that would make my day better. Well, as you could image it was just the opposite of that!

I am like all gals when I need good advice and my friends aren’t around then I turn to my horoscope to guide me through my day. I bet I’m not the only person reading them either and I am sure some of you guys take a peek at it too sometimes when you’re feeling a bit questionable about yourself.

Anyways, what I wanted to say was that I bought 2 newspapers to be on the safe side of things and not to be steered in the wrong direction.

The first paper said something like this:

Your horoscope for today says that my success will influence your relationship with the boss-> I am the boss, so what do I do now? Argue with myself about something?

Use the situation to your advantage -> what my dilemma and what situation? Could you please be more precise here?

A small trip will improve my mind -> do those folks think I’m nuts or what? Or are they saying I need a vacation, and who is going to finance my vacation?

Second horoscope: Worse than the first one

When you have finished all the nasty things at work you will feel better -> I am not the wicked witch of the west and what nasty things?

My relationship is a bit stressed and I should work on the climate around me. -> I hope my husband isn’t up to
anything. We left the house on a good note together this morning or am I missing something?????

Somehow my situation didn’t really improve after reading both horoscopes and I thought “now what do I do?”
But then it dawned me to ask someone who had a modern cell phone with a horoscope app, and low and behold I was saved!!

I knew my day would be better now. They pulled out their trusty phone, hit the horoscope app and there in bright green was the horoscope that I was searching for:

Your day will be great and your colleagues will need your advice. Your health is good and your partner will take you out to eat on Friday evening.

Boy, after reading that I was so relieved and could now think straight, and the thought of going out with my husband cheered me up too. I hope we go to a good restaurant…

Did those folks write that horoscope just for me? And if they did I say: Thank You!!!

Those people that dream up those stories day in and day out must get paid good or I hope they do for the pile of rubbish that they write. If I believed all that stuff I would be dead years ago or I would have locked myself in my house never to be seen again.

What’s with those jokers??

Plus what I find amazing is no matter where you are in the world there is always a column in the newspaper with your horoscope. And the imagination that those writers require must be amazing.

I ask here: If any of you newspapers out there need someone to write some crazy horoscopes then please call me, because I think I may qualify for the job.

Enjoy your day no matter what your horoscope says!