Puff and Play

A little play on words (smoking, playing a game on a Smartphone, and drinking coffee)
The other day at work some guys I don’t know too well started to talk about what they do on their coffee break, and as a typical women who loves to hear about what others do….. I knew I had to listen in….I’m sure some of you do that too or not???

To me it was rather amazing to listen to how they took their coffee breaks… sure there are those who just stand around and sip their coffee and hope to get the low-down on what is going on in the office without actually partaking in any conversation; there are those who take their coffee back to their desks and dream about destinations outside of the office, and the sort who know everything going on in the office (if they actually do…. That could be questionable???)

Nowadays there is a new sort of coffee breakers who say the heck with conversation and absorb themselves in the world of coffee, having a smoke and their games on their Smartphone’s….. That’s today’s world whether you like it or not…. Welcome in the 21st century!!

But what is important here is just to image how they manage to “puff and play” and drink coffee all at the same time…. Being a woman with an imagination I can picture it now as to how they multi-task on their coffee break…..
All you have to do is sit-back and shut your eyes to image how it would be (Firstly, though read below and then shut your eyes to get the full picture..)

Now to do this properly one has to get a hold of the coffee break, Smartphone, ashtray set-up, otherwise forget it! This set- up is for everyone and not restricted only to guys…. Before heading to the break area one must strap around their waist the handy coffee break belt with the built in, pull-out tray, ashtray and Smartphone holder, so leaving your hands free for other important things , should they arise.

You need a coffee mug that is not too heavy, otherwise the tray could get too heavy and tip over and you spill coffee on yourself…. A definite no go in today’s office world! And don’t forget to keep your ashtray clean too.. No old butts!!

Okay! Coffee break time has started and everyone is getting their coffee break waist tray out and securing it in place, Smartphone’s are on the tray charged up for the next round of action that has been burning your fingers, because you had to work before… coffee is in the cup and ciggi in the mouth…. Sort of like those old black and white movies….. Anticipation is mounting, the Smartphone is blinking and you are so excited that you are winning the game you are playing, you are lost in another world no longer at work, but sunk deep within the realms of the game, coffee forgotten ashes falling from your ciggi into the coffee that is on your waist tray…. No one notices… you take a sip of your coffee and think to yourself “who made this S…..?” But who cares the screen is blinking things are happening the Smartphone has taken hold of your senses and you forget the world around you because you want power and fame that the game gives you, and not the desk job that you are doing!

Through all this action and excitement your ciggi has burnt down to the filter and you stand there with just the filter in your mouth, and your Smartphone in your hand and you wanting to drink that beloved cup of coffee, but NO…… the coffee break time is over and now you have to go back to your desk and wonder and wait until the next break comes where you can dive again into the world of adventure, and ciggi’s and coffee…

The boss comes along and says „Coffee break over…. Everyone back to work now!”

That’s life in the office…..

Toasty Toast

Sometimes there is nothing better than a good’ol slice of toast to start the day off with or to eat at other times of the day…. As an avid toast eater of many years I know how I like my toast toasted or at least until my friend told me about the article about how to toast bread……
Can you just imagine…Me standing in my kitchen with a slice of bread to be toasted in my hand when I received a call telling me that after all these years…. You guessed it right!!!

I have been toasting my bread incorrectly!! That was a horror morning at its best… Simply a bad toast time!!! And that all thanks to those folks out there who say they know how to toast the perfect piece of bread….

After all these years and all those toasting errors I am still a faithful toast eater… Now according to the information it is essential to have the right thickness of bread (no exceptions here) Thickness is of the utmost importance, so take heed when you are slicing your bread!!!

I got my trusty bread slicing knife out and approached the loaf with caution this morning…. I could tell by looking at the loaf of bread that there was danger lurking within the loaf. I placed the loaf with caution on the cutting board trying not to upset the loaf of bread in any way…. Can you see it now in the headlines of the local newspaper “Women up-set loaf of bread, and now she can’t have a slice of toast”… That is moving information and you wouldn’t want to be confronted with an ornery loaf of bread either!

But I managed to slice the bread… of course I used a high tech device that will calculate the thickness, so no unwanted angles or so in my slices… I plugged the toaster in and I could sense that the sliced bread was getting a bit nervous about the thought of being put into the hollows of a toaster (Yes, I believe it could be somewhat traumatizing for the bread)…. Have you ever taken a peek down into your toaster? (Of course when it isn’t plugged in!!) It looks mighty dangerous to me with all those electrical bits that turn a reddish color when in operation!!

Bravely I put two slices into the toaster and pushed the little lever down and waited patiently for my toast (Did you know if you pop the toast up before it is finished its toasting time that the bread won’t be completely toasted? According to the info) what idiot doesn’t know that…. Please

Now that the toasting process has been completed (this all sounds so scientific) I can remove the toast from the toaster and butter it (wow) Plus the temperature of the butter is also important too… This making toast business is tiring me out and I am not finished yet….. Why did my friends have to tell me all this stuff????

Plus to top it off you have to wait an allotted time before buttering it too, Okay the clock is ticking … Maybe now I can butter it and top it with whatever I like. But the most important thing is and you will never guess in a million years….. You have to think about “how many slices you would like to eat”…. Now that is a mind boggling thought in itself!!!

So when you get up in the morning, don’t rush the toasting process and take care to toast correctly or else you may end up with a sad looking piece of toast and that you wouldn’t want…. Have fun toasting toast!

Beany Bye-Bye

Not long ago when two people wanted to part and go their own way;you actually spoke to each other and said that “the relationship” is over…… a situation that requires tackt and nerves to say that….

Then along came the good’old text messaging and so only with a few words and not having to look the other person in the eyes…. Write the text and press “send” and the relationship is/has ended and then a quick login on a social network and the person changes their status to “single” again and now the world knows , with just a quick click you are alone again….

How easy it is to say “good-bye” and I don’t want to be with you anymore….. How impersonal electronic devices and the Internet make the world!

But now there is this so called “bean plant” that can do the job for you as I recently read. Just put the seed in the soil and follow the instructions and then in about 5 days you have a plant and on a leaf is written” It’s over” …. I see this as even worse than a text message, because a text message you get right away and with the seed thing you have to wait. This may make the person think that they are loved and not being dumped, or maybe it’s Good, because in the germination period you may decide to get back together again and dispose of the plant before you can see its leafs….. The wonders of nature!

I wonder if the folks who thought this bean thing up was having relationship problems and didn’t know how to say “good-bye”…… The never ending ways of breaking-up

If anyone out there has tried this method of breaking-up….. We all would be very grateful if you would let us all know how the person who received the ” break-up bean” reacted? 

Life can be painful at times but greenery still has its moments! 

Multi-tasking and My Attention

What I just read seemed to pop my bubble of how I thought us gals were great at multi-tasking, but NOOOOO, guys are supposedly better at least according to some study. I think they forgot to ask me and a couple of other gals about this topic of “Multi-tasking” to hear what we have to say about guys being great at it.

Okay, guys please don’t get me wrong here, but I really don’t see many guys doing more than one thing at a time, and this defiantly holds true when something has to be done…. No multi-tasking…. Just “I’ll do it when I have time”….. When that time is or will be is another question, but not now, later.

Plus, what is “multi-tasking”… drinking a beer and watching a soccer game or football game on TV all at the same time??? A challenging thought…. But no, it has to be more like drinking a coffee in the morning and reading the newspaper at the same time, or monkying around with your Smartphone and texting at the same time while sitting on the sofa and pretending to hear what I have to say. I am sure the list could be endless…. And some guys and gals can relate to this here.

As a gal my “multi-tasking” tasks are endless… Make breakfast, clean-up cook dinner set the table, go to work… talk on the phone , write an email, and the list goes on… I seem to be always doing two tasks at once, and it’s endless… but I’m not good at “multi-tasking” according to the study because I am a gal…..

I feel somewhat heartbroken with that thought, because I wanted to win the “Multi-Tasking gal of the year award 2015”, so that I could proudly display the award, and when you would walk into my home there on the wall…on display my “ Multi-tasking” award, but NO, so now what???
I’m doomed because of some article…. No, cool award on my wall this year!!!

But that isn’t the only thing going on… My attention span has been compared to a gold-fish… Now that just takes the cake!!! Okay, no cake on offer but still, I think I have a good attention span and can hold out a bit longer than a gold-fish.

But then again, I haven’t been hanging around any gold-fish lately, and to be honest; I’m not friends with any either…. What I don’t understand is; how can you ask a gold-fish if it is interested in something, and I am sure my interests are not the same as a fishes interests are….. Or am I over looking something???? Though it could be with the “multi-tasking” that a gold-fish is good at it and they meant that “guy” gold-fish are good “multi-taskers” . Now I’m curious?????

I need to get in contact with those “multi-tasking” guys and ask them about this whole thing… I can see it now “Gold fish are multi-tasking experts and have short attention spans” and this we know because we did an exclusive interview with Mr. Gold fish; the top ranking gold-fish in his tank! … That would be a real page turner!!!

So, if you own a gold-fish… Watch out and keep an eye on the “Multi-tasker(s)” in your home too!

Sorry No Selfie Today

It was brought to my attention the other day that young people take at least 30 “selfies” of themselves a day. Where do they find the time???

It got me thinking about selfies and if took 30 of myself in a day …. How would I manage?

So, I guess the first one would be when I get-up in the morning….. You probably would have a heart attack if you saw me, so I guess I won’t post one of me getting-up…. Thank goodness you say!!

Selfie number 2: Just showered, wet hair in my old bathrobe and drinking a cup of coffee… Now that is a picture to share with the world…Or???

Selfie number 3: Brushing my teeth and putting my make-up on all at the same time… Now you say: “that is a picture I want to see”!

Selfie number 4: Me doing the dishes before going to work. I bet you never saw anyone doing that before? Or is there someone at your house who does that too?

Selfie number 5: Standing at the bus stop…. Now that could be an action packed photo. I did a background check, my hair is perfect and I look good until the wind comes along right when the picture is being taken…. Who cares … post it anyway! I am at the bus stop

Selfie number 6: (To be honest I am getting tired of taking selfies and I am only at picture number 6) But the day is young and “Selfies” will make my day better…. Hopefully???

Selfie number 7: forgot to take number 6 … we’ll just skip one! Now here I am waiting for the commuter train on the platform with all the other happy commuters…. Don’t you feel that this is a must take picture to show everyone?? I do

Selfie number 8: at the office… in my office wow… This is a cool place a must picture!!! Of course with me in it…

Selfie number 9: Me by the coffee machine at work… Aren’t you impressed??

Selfie number 10: can’t take it, big boss says no!! Party pooper

Selfie number 11: no group picture either. Everyone in the office is too busy to stop for a group Selfie…. Where is the fun here?? This Selfie stuff is turning into a full time job and I am not sure if I have time to do my job now or should I be taking Selfies

Selfie number 12: Me eating my peanut butter and jelly sandwich at my desk…. Now that is something to write home about!

Selfie number 13: Leaving the office for the day… How do you like me waving at you?? Aren’t I just full of original ideas for my Selfies???

Selfie number 14: Me getting a shopping trolley at the grocery store… I bet you never thought that my life was so exciting? Did you????

Selfie number 15: A gallon of milk in my hand… you never knew that was what a gallon of milk looked like before??? Well, if you didn’t now you know.

Selfie number 16- 29: requires too much energy on my part and the battery is getting low on my Smartphone.

Selfie number 30: in the kitchen again… where I was this morning only now making dinner…. I hope everyone is hungry and likes what I am cooking?

Sorry no more selfies today!

Grocery Store Here I Come!

There is supposed to be a new shopping App on the way that will make my grocery shopping a really fun and a quick experience…….. No more fun wandering the aisle for me!!!

The little App is there to help me and make my life easier or so they say. Just scan your stuff at home that you need to buy and then you are on your way to the grocery store and once inside the GPS system shows you where to find those products….. Why do I have a brain???

I see a nightmare approaching … There I stand in my kitchen and think to myself (thank goodness I can still do that without an App) “High time to go to the grocery store”, now what??? Normally I make myself a list …. Like lots of people do; so I know what I want to buy. Well, I guess that is too old fashioned!

Now I need to take a picture of everything that I want to buy at that one and only grocery store…. Now firstly, I need a Smartphone that I can take pictures with and has App’s and the battery has to be fully charged or else my shopping picture list won’t exist…. This will take more time than me writing my shopping list on a piece of paper….. Where’s my pen????

But what really worries me is the fact that I have to constantly be taking pictures of the packages of things that I have bought and want to buy again. How much time do I have??? Let’s see: the pile of empty packaging that I saved; Smartphone ready to take pictures- laying out all the old packaging … OMG I threw some packaging out…. Now what???? My shopping trip is down the drain and it hasn’t even started yet….. NO bad hair day… But a bad grocery shopping day!!!

With sweat running down my brow I manage after 45 minutes to photograph all the stuff that I want to buy, and I still need to write a list for the stuff that I couldn’t take a picture of… now I am up to 60 minutes being wasted of my time. But saving time is of the essence!!!

There I enter the grocery store and my App automatically sends me a GPS signal so that I can find the stuff that I took a picture of at home quicker… Life can be so simple at times…. No brain required here!

Though I do have to watch were I am going. I don’t want to collide with anyone in my race to save time to get what I took pictures of. But can you image if you bought a product that was a special and the grocery store doesn’t have it anymore and my App doesn’t tell me this…. I feel that could just ruin my GPS shopping experience then and there!!

Now I have to turn to my paper list and there I stand in the middle of an aisle not knowing which way to turn because there is no GPS on my list and I have to depend on my brain power and wander the aisles aimlessly looking for that one product that I couldn’t take a picture of….. The perils of getting lost in the aisles of a grocery store!!!

But what is far worse is the thought that your battery on your Smartphone dies while in the grocery store because I forgot to charge it. Now there you go….. A nightmare that could only happen because I was trying to save time take loads of pictures and run the GPS all at the same time….. Good bye battery

Though with all those time saving Apps and stuff I must admit I will stick to the method that I like to use… the good’ol piece of paper with what I have written on it…. And to manage my way through the aisles of the grocery store… I will take my chances without GPS…. I like challenges and there is no better place than at the grocery store!

So, should you be thinking about going to the grocery store; remember your shopping list and make sure your battery in your Smartphone is fully charged or else…

Perils of Parking

Parking your car/ vehicle can be somewhat of a challenge but then again once you’ve parked your car then you can be off to do your shopping or whatever it is you are doing…..

With the “Where did I park my car App” It is said your worries will be over. I personally have some second thoughts about that, because if you forgot to program your car into the system or whatever it is that you need to do, and haven’t done that then how will you be able to find your car????

It seems to me that that is why I was born with a brain to remember where I parked my car, and my trusty brain cells send their little messages trough my brain to tell me where I had parked my car in the parking lot.

Ok, problems could arise when the parking lot is full of cars that are all the same color and model, and then I would admit that I would have problems finding my car, but what is the likelihood of something like that happening…. Any mathematicians reading this?????
At least up until today I have never experienced anything like that but who knows what the future of the parking lot holds???

Ok, maybe there I am ….I’ve parked my car in a sprawling parking lot somewhere on the planet and have gone off for a day of spending my money on things that I don’t need… then it happens I come out and stand there in a parking lot full of cars all the same color as mine… A nightmare!!! I forgot my license plate number to top it off too… Now what…. Scream!!!

Where is my car… the trusty App is confused because it didn’t realize that sooooo many cars would be the same color and they all have the Parking App… But luckily I noted the chassis number of my car…. I am saved now. I just have to look at the Chassis number App now to find my car. Or wait did I enter the chassis number??? I can’t remember because I don’t have the remember App …. OMG!!!!!

I think my brain may blow a fuse and is there an App for that too???? This whole parking issue has gotten my brain into a tizzy and I hope when I go outside after that then I can find my way to the garage and find my car parked there, and hopefully capable of all this without GPS & an App… Now that sounds like a challenge to me!!!

But maybe to avoid the where do I find my car issue; I’ll just ride my bicycle instead and save myself the whole problem of having to look for” where did I park my car”. Problem solved and I am thinking about the environment and doing something for my health…

Ride a bicycle and all your parking problems will be solved and you will feel better too! Enjoy your ride!!

I Quit!!!

The newest and most impersonal way to quit your job is with your Smartphone app and if it’s a good idea or not that’s another question in itself….

Everything is getting more impersonal and even resigning or quitting your job too. What is happening to being upright and taking hold of your life and resigning in person or even handing in your letter of resignation??? Are people getting so afraid to do anything that they can’t talk to each other or even confront each other when there is a problem at work? A really sad development indeed!!

Quitting a job with such an app is too easy, because you just press the correct setting on your Smartphone and the app does the rest for you (I guess… not exactly too sure how this whole set-up works) and if that is so then there could be many people out of work, because maybe they had a bad day or a tiff with their boss and say… “I quit!!” And without a second thought press that nifty little app that sends a message to their boss saying they quit; without really thinking about the consequences of what they are doing in a moment of anger or being upset.

Now what… pressed the app and out of work… Do you have another job lined –up?? Or are there plenty of jobs around where you are living and if the answer is no to both questions … Then what???

No work.. No money!!! Simple as that.. And now what does one do??? One is left high and dry and no more water under the hull of their boat. Somewhat scary when you really think about it….

The days of thinking about how I should react to something or taking time to cool-off from being up-set and then deciding what to do seem to be disappearing, and being replaced by what could be irrational reactions to a situation at work that could have been avoid if everyone one would communicate with each other instead of texting messages or sending emails.

I personally will stick to the old fashioned method, if I have a problem then I will talk about it and if I want to resign then I’ll write a letter and not press an app on my Smartphone, because I am still a person and am still dealing with real people too….

I Married my Smartphone!

The days of smoking are over! Who needs to light-up a cigarette, because there is a replacement for it right in your hand and it’s always there, and knows about you, keeps track of your dates/ appointments and is basically your companion that one cannot do without today…. Our Smartphone, cell phone, mobile phone or whatever you want to call it.

It is simply there and always with you… No one would admit that they are a “Smartphone junky” because it is seen as being fashionable, so you never leave home without it!!!
I am always surprised by how attached people are to their Smartphone’s and I see a new trend on the horizon “Marrying my Smartphone” if you aren’t already married to it. People seem to spend more time monkeying around with their Smartphone’s than with their guy or gal……

An SMS conversation between a guy and gal:

1 – Guy: Ever heard of spoken communication?
2- Gal: Not too sure, let me check the internet to see what that was or is?
3- Gal: That was something that was done years ago before Smartphone’s
4- Guy: oh
5- Gal: should we try
6-Guy: How ??
7- Gal: ????
8- Guy: Huh ???
9- Gal: Date??
10- Guy: y +m
11-Gal: Yah, Fri ev @ 8.00
Now the date:
Real time speaking to each other: hi – hi
SMS:
Guy- Should we talk ??
Gal- Txting is easier
Guy- ok 🙂
Gal- ok 🙂
Guy- Pizza + Beer?
Gal – Do you have the order app for this restaurant?
Guy- sorry no
Gal- 😦 No food… you jerk!!

Is that what dating or communicating is turning into???? I hope not, because I still love to talk.
Then there’s the app that lets you communicate instantaneously, so the sender basically can judge from how long it takes for you to answer as to what you are up too…. Now where’s my life?????

Everyone wants to know what the other person is doing or indirectly even control or distrust the other person to whom they are sending the message too… or it is a plain form of self realization because they constantly need to tell someone how great and popular they are… But are they really popular???

I feel that sometimes my Smartphone is like a big chain around my neck!! Do I constantly have to be sending sms’s???

Wouldn’t it be nicer to call the other person up and hear their voice??? The sound of a real person’s voice can be so nice to hear and hopefully it won’t get lost in the world of sms’s!

Conversation is so nice, so let’s try and keep it alive!!

Selfie – not today Ohje!

Now that the word „Selfie“ is officially in the dictionary and is a recognized word; I feel now I can use it in a linguistic way… OK??

I know the word has been around for a couple of years now but somehow I didn’t want to use a word that isn’t in the dictionary. I know you think “How old fashioned”.. What can I say; I like to use words that have a definition in a dictionary.

Anyways, back to the “Selfie” – I will admit I do not belong to the “Selfie” crowd because I never take pictures of myself and post them online somewhere, so the world can see me and where I am at the moment. I am happy with myself and do not need recognition, and I am not sure that all the recognition that people get for their “Selfie’s” is truthful?????
Nothing against those folks but I have noticed that with some friends of mine their “Selfie’s” are getting a bit boring, because I know where they are and I know what they look like whether in a picture or in person.
I know no one is interested in what I look like or what is in the back ground, and to top it off I need to find the time to take all these photos and that means less free time for me because I am busy taking “ Selfie’s”.

Ok; some people’s “Selfie’s” are interesting because they are doing some sport or something that is really interesting. They are not just standing there and taking a picture of themselves because they have to prove something… They are taking pictures of something truly interesting!

Years ago before the internet and Smartphone’s you would be seen as being vain if you took a lot of pictures of yourself and now??????

It is really amazing how perception has changed since the invention of the internet, whether that is good or bad…. I cannot say, but I sit back with interest and watch the world evolve around me and hopefully the world will not turn into a too “Selfie” society one day