Techi Talk

Today with all these new techi computer words floating around I wonder what else they could mean besides there computer meaning and as a gal who isn’t always up to date in the world of computers and only recently being exposed to wonders of modern technology, I must say I was fascinated as to how I could translate those words into totally everyday means………

So, I thought I would give it a go and maybe you can relate to some of the translations too……..

API – always people interfere(You know the problem when you are trying to do something.)
Boot – sorry I only have one and lost the other boot. Bad if the weather isn’t so good outside.
Cloud- look up into the sky and see the wonders of nature
Chrome- Normally used as a plating for metal, but what do I know……..
Dialer – wasn’t that the thing on the telephones from yesteryear??

FAT – Find any things? This is good when looking for something
Gnome – that thing that was popular one time that lots of people had in their gardens or on their lawns…..
Hardware – something you do need when doing repairs around the house, and then you need to go to the hardware store to get the stuff you need to fix-up whatever you are fixing-up……. Makes sense????
HTML – How that much liked??? There you got it when wanting an opinion; just ask HTML….
Key- Something I need to get into my house
Laptop – That word is ,well how can I say it…… Sounds dated for computer words

Malware – That can happen when you get moles in your garden and they ruin everything, then you got a serious case of Malware!
MSP- This is a word to watch-out for ( Many serious problems) because it does direct one in a some what negative direction, but not really saying anything about what the problem is, so MSP it next time you have some issues.

Open office – the good old open office plan that has been around for years with everyone working in the same room together….OMG….. no thank you!
Plug in – easy plug the plug in the socket…. it couldn’t be any simpler.
Pop up – that happens when you put bread in the toaster to be toasted and when it is done being toasted it pop’s-up

PDF – oh, an office nightmare….Photocopier Doesn’t Function
QNX – now here you need a bit of imagination: Quite Normal Expressions; when translated into computer lingo means nothing is new.
Root – every plant has this… nothing new
Server- those folks must have gotten this inspiring word while they were drinking a coffee at a coffee shop and a server served them.

USB – Again a fascinating word : Underlying useless business….. This does happen in the business world,so be careful not to waste your time.
Virus – bad news with winter coming in a couple of months there are always lots of theses in the air,so take care.
Wine – Tastes good sometimes with meals and come in different colors too.
Zip – those are on many jackets and other garments worn.

Now after translating these wonderful words you now may be better able to understand the other meanings as to how we non computer professional can keep up with the world of words today.

Computer folks keep those great words coming… GWC for now!

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No Party At My Place Today!

After all these years I have found out that I have been serving the wrong amounts of food at my parties…. This thought alone makes me want to scream!!!

Well, today I was informed by an article that was brought to my attention that there are guidelines as to how much food and drink you should serve at your parties… Thank goodness for all these pages of advice floating around the internet these days. Without them my life would be doomed and I probably would never again be able to hold a successful party…. Though friends have never complained about my parties….. But they could in the future if they found out that I am not following the party guidelines..OMG

But with this helpful advice I know my next party for 25 people… no more and no less… an exact number of people 25!!
And since there are recommended amounts of food and beverages there is no need to worry about preparing too much food. I just need to make sure everyone only eats their allotted amount and NO MORE!!!

So I think the ticket method would be best to make sure no one tries to sneak a bit more than they should, so as everyone enters my place you will be give different colored tickets that you can exchange them for food and beverages, and I will have someone at the kitchen door checking to see that everyone stays within their allowed amounts….. No cheating please or else you will be thrown out of the party!

Now I will be serving only simple fare so it makes it pretty easy to keep track of what has been eaten.
But the preparation is somewhat tricky based on 25 people , because once you say “Yes, I(we) are coming there is no backing out because that would throw my plan off balance and ruin the whole evening and the distribution of the food and drinks.

So, since I will be serving sandwiches… Forget hot food everyone, because that is too hard to control!!

I need to make: And do not get too excited thinking about the food

37.5 cucumber sandwiches – 1.5 per person….. You must have your pink tickets

150 appetizers – 6 per person ……. You must have your yellow tickets

37.5 small cupcakes – 1.5 per person…… You must have your green tickets

75 small cookies – 3 per person……You must have your blue tickets

Beverages:

37.5 glasses of wine or beer – 1.5 glasses per hour/person ….. You must have your red tickets

4 gallons of lemonade ….. Served only in shot glasses to last the evening… You must bring your own shot glass with you!

So, remember no tickets no food or drink, and if you lose your tickets or misplace them; bad luck!! Keep an eye on your tickets if you want to have a fun evening with friends or otherwise it won’t be fun and you end up with nothing to eat or drink… Plus, I take no responsibility for the loss or misplacing of your ticket(s), and no trading tickets either with anyone else. Now we are ready to have a fun and enjoyable party!

If everyone remembers these simple to follow guidelines next time you are planning your next party for 25 people; I am sure your party will be the hit of the neighborhood then.

Enjoy your party!

Women’s Pages

Now gals don’t misunderstand me here, but I was just reading the women’s pages on some online newspapers… Okay, I know you are thinking doesn’t she have anything better to do with her time? The thing is I admit reading those pages while other say …. “Me, I never read that stuff”……

I am always amazed at what I can learn from those pages here are some examples:

1. Getting older changes how you look and feel ….. WOW, I never knew that and that your make-up sinks into your wrinkles…. OMG… Scream out loud!!!!

2. Train my brain not to eat food that is bad for me….. WELL, I’ll just have to have a serious word with my brain later on today before I open the fridge door!!

3. A wooden bottle that I can pour my cheap wine into and should make it taste better…. What do I do if guests are coming around and they see that I use this wooden bottle thing…. They are going to think that I am a real tight wad and probably not drink all that so called great tasting cheap wine…… good money down the drain

4. Names of kids have effects on their careers later on in life….. I bet my mom never even thought about it back then and how many other people are walking around out there too without their parents thinking in advance about what their child’s career should be when they grow up??? I will have to take a closer look at my name and see how much it actually affected my career …. I need facts!!!

5. Knowing about wine in four hours… probably by then I will be drunk from all the wine I drank before so in the end everything tastes good PROST!!!

6. Beauty secrets that will keep me looking younger….. I know now that I will be looking good in no time!!!

7. Last but not least… cook something to eat. Recipes to make your mouth water! I love that first I need to watch my weight take care of my brain; I’m getting older and have the wrong name. Drink cheap wine out of a wooden bottle and maybe get drunk by learning all about wine but I know after all that excitement I need some beauty tips to make me look great again before I start to cook all those great recipes at the bottom of the page!!

Isn’t it just great gals knowing that all this important information is out there to better our lives!! Enjoy it

Married on Mars

Being married and living on Mars may not be such a bad idea if you want to get away from the crowds but it could be a bit of a challenge for the nerves….. Don’t you think???

So it is said that there is someone out there looking for a happy couple that can get along with each other for a long time in a confined space…. How long is long and what is a confined space?????

I am not sure if I would do something like that. To be honest I have a good relationship with my guy but being cooped-up with him in a small space for a long time could change my view of him and maybe what he thinks of me too. That I can be sure of!!!
No more days out with friends and family or going to the office… A good point but then again the office isn’t that bad either.

Ok, I can see it now my guy and me have signed –up and are the couple… we are ecstatic; at least in the beginning because everything is new and seems great and then like everything is ( sounds sooo demoting) everyday life hits. Who is going to clean – not me! I could see this as an extended vacation… But as experience has it; my guy wouldn’t win the “Housekeeper of the year award”, so I’m back where I started from on earth….. I’m disappointed and haven’t even left home yet!!

Though the dehydrated meals are easy to prepare and my guy can do the job!! And I know there won’t be any burnt meals… the wonders of science!! Life at its finest… But to be honest that sort of food is disgusting, and there are no fresh fruits or veggies. Plus, what about a good glass of wine with the meal???
No problem, just whip out the plastic pack of wine and there you go .. your romantic meal for two while floating in space. I think candles could be pushing it a bit and may cause a fire, so I guess you have them on a screen, so to give you a feeling of a romantic dinner while trying not to lose your meal.

Somehow just writing that bit I am starting to feel that life would be a bit boring and sooner or later I am 100% sure you would get on each other’s nerves and then what??????? There’s probably some rest stop on the way where you can stop off for a coffee and stretch your legs… isn’t there??? You know; remember the cartoon program( mature readers will remember this) the family that lived in Space, well maybe it would be like that and you just jet around town meet friends and so on. So you are only confined with your guy or gal for a short period of time.

Because if not and things don’t go as planned …. Is there the outer space divorce kit??? Just pull off at the next planet for a consultation and we can help you for only $1999.99 without the planetary sales tax.

But on the other hand, we could have a great time together and explore the solar system and get to know each other again and enjoy the journey and stop off at a local plant to check out what is going on there and see what the locals are up too, and maybe they would invite us in for a coffee and a chat…. Also not a bad idea?????
Plus, I am sure there is the shopping mall planet where I hopefully can get some good bargains on shoes and handbags, so I’ll put this on my list of places to visit while we are out there.

My guy will surely want to pop by the car dealer’s planet to check out the latest models and maybe pick-up a deal….. Is the space craft big enough for all our stuff that we buy along the way???

One thing is for sure…. I would bring my camera along to take some picture for the family photo album and so when I got back I could have a good’ol look at my pictures with my friends and be the envy of the neighborhood.

So the lucky couple out there who is planning this journey; please don’t forget us and send a postcard… You know our address!

Love

Love – What is love? A good question if you ask me, ok, you didn’t. But I got wondering about the word “love” and its meaning and what does it mean to people.

Yes, tomorrow is the big “I love you” day. But even after reading all the definitions of the word love and what scientists say love is. I am still wondering about the word……

I asked some of my friends what the word “love” meant and I got many answers to my question and it didn’t always have to do with a relationship with someone. Love spread far and wide and wasn’t limited to another human. So, what is “love” if it doesn’t only have to do with another human????

• enjoying a meal – I loved that

• a movie – I loved that movie

• the beach – I love the beach

• a glass of wine – I love this wine

• a beer – I love beer ( didn’t want to leave the beer drinks out)

• my car – I love my car ( how true in our house- who/ what does my guy love more- me or the car???)

• a walk – I love to take a walk

• a book – I loved reading that book

• coffee – I just love this coffee

• cell phone – I love my cell phone ( would be lost without it!)

• a day out – I just loved our day out

• my shoes- I love my new shoes ( gals – I couldn’t forget us)

Those are soooooo many things with the word “love” and it seems that we really never think about how often we use the word “love” and that it doesn’t have to do with real love… It’s just a saying or a use of words in a sentence with the word “love”, but do we really mean it when we say “love” in those sentences????

Maybe the word “love” should be reconsidered and then I would really know what “love” is? Because it seems this word cannot be pinpointed to a definite thing or person…… Love is everywhere.

Take time for “love” and not only for that one day a year but every day and maybe “love” can be enjoyed then in all its aspects….. Love is a great word!!

Looking for that Lady

I thought I had read it all until I stumbled across a headline saying that some guy stole some steaks and wine for his date with some lady. Really now have times gotten sooooo bad where someone has to steal stuff so they can try to impress some chick??? Bad move if you ask me…

That guy should have put a bit of consideration into what he was going to do once he asked a gal out or over to his place and stealing stuff definitely doesn’t really impress gals somehow…. Or have times changed that much????

I can see it now the gal rings the doorbell at the guys place and everything seems so perfect but he is a bit nervous always looking out the window. I would think… ah, he’s got a girlfriend and hasn’t told me or he is married and … well the rest you can imagine. I won’t go into detail here, because if it was one or the other and she did come home; I bet s…. would hit the fan and there would be an interesting exchange of words to say the least and as a gal I would NOT want to experience that!!!

Or again the guy could be worried that he was filmed while the stuff accidentally feel into his pockets in the store and thinks they may find him. The poor gal is sitting at the table enjoying a nice steak and a glass of wine and then……. A knock on the door and the crime team comes in saying to the guy that they are confiscating the meal because the food was stolen. This is definitely something that could ruin a date and she will NEVER want to see the guy again!!!

What brings a person to do something like that and if the guys strapped for cash he could cook a cheap meal or ask his buddies for a couple of bucks so he can buy something for his date but stealing.. That’s a bit much.

So, for those guys out there on a tight budget and aren’t sure… Don’t steal but instead maybe make the good old stand-by meal of spaghetti…. Cheap and easy to cook and with a little creativity it will taste good and your date won’t go sour!

Great Stories are Abound

As I was just reading a couple of online newspapers and clicked on the sections with the amazing BUT true life stories about what people- mostly gals have experienced or what they do.
All I can say is that I seem to have a really boring life. I have never experienced such fascinating things and whether it be good or bad; I just seem to be left out and I don’t even have any gal friends who have experienced such things either….. I must have picked out the wrong friends!!!! So friends the sad truth is that I have to trade you in for a new group who are action packed with amazing stories…. I want action in my life!!!

I want action and gossip in my life not some normal everyday conversation about the latest fashion or my new cell phone or other boring topics. There was a gal who was addicted to eating burgers from some fast food restaurant and eats them for every meal. I really don’t know if I could eat soooooo many burgers because I am not a burger fan. Sorry folks!! But it is something to talk about and hey you make the newspaper.

Though the other poor gal who was changing the vacuum cleaner bag on her vacuum and found a pair of underwear from some other chick – Now that’s a reason to be upset with your guy… or?? Or did she place them there herself to get back at her guy for something???? The mystery of a great vacuum story is coming your way, so stay tuned for the vacuum cleaner saga in your area to find out what happens.

But there’s the chick who sold a relative’s house so she could get a lot of money. How she did this isn’t too clear and somehow I don’t think it would be as easy as they presented it. Somehow journalist today seem to have an imagination beyond belief, but then again they need to make a living too, so hey why not write some crazy articles about whatever they think would sell. I read it and had a good laugh.

Then there’s also some lonely gal who shares her place with one of those gray colored pigs. Now that could be a bit of a shocker if she met some guy and she said to him” let’s go back to my place” – there he is sitting in the living room while she is in the kitchen pouring 2 glasses of wine and the poor unsuspecting guy sitting there with other thoughts on his mind and is then confronted with a pig that crept up behind him… Now that could be a real date killer if you ask me!!!! So gals I would suggest forget having a pig as a house pet; just stick to the normal cat or dog to be on the safe side when you want to meet a guy.

Or to top things off the gal who spent all her money on horoscope calls and the other who spent a fortune on clothes… where do all these folks come from????? I have never even met a person who has experienced anything that would come close to all the articles about the goings on in their lives.
I want action and I hope this weekend that I can experience at least one thing that would make my life as moving as those gals in the newspapers. I will keep my eyes peeled and hope for an action packed weekend.

Enjoy your weekend even if you don’t meet such interesting people!

My Health as a Woman

My health is good or at least I thought that until I started reading all the online articles in various newspapers from around the world which informed me about various symptoms and the cures.

Firstly, as a women we go through those monthly horror trips when we have our –as I like to put it “off days” (sounds better than mood swings or PMT) They made it sound as if every women in the world turned into an old hag and that all women are in bad moods- now that they informed me I can do something about it- I need to think now….
I never knew before reading that stuff that I had those problems but now that I do.. I feel that some things have to change – But what ???? I could see it now those bad mood hormones creeping up on me and saying “it’s time to be in a bad mood” – so I quickly stopped reading the article, because I know now that I am caught up in the monthly horror trip. OMG the thought of the monthly horror trip and I’m not prepared…. Help me I’m a women with problems !!!!

Then there was the article about lying about your age and if you do some jokers can take a peek at your brain and tell you exactly how old you are. Those guys are real party poopers!!
I don’t always want to tell everybody exactly how old I am and when someone gives me a nice complement saying you look younger than I say “Thank-you”. Why should I say – “well, if you want the truth; I’m over the hill and feel like s&%t and my brain is old and I am not sure if I remember what day it is today.” There you have it in a nut shell and makes me feel crappy!!!
I want to be young, so hey I knock a couple of years off my age and I feel great and I’m not hurting a soul. Plus, years ago everyone knew that women lied about their age and it was unthought-of to say how old you really were nor was it polite to ask that dangerous question “How old are you?” What’s happening to the fun of being a women ???

Now my next problem that I really didn’t know about was that I shouldn’t eat egg yolks. I love eggs and I am still around after eating lots of them – I better go to the doctors this afternoon and have my lungs x-rayed to see if they have turned yellow from all the eggs that I have eaten throughout the years.
It seems that anything that you enjoy eating or drinking is bad for you. Like years ago. First it was ok to drink a glass of red wine a day and then it wasn’t now it is ….. Does anyone really know what is going on???? But I can be happy there are still some veggies around that are good for you, or at least I hope so.
What can I eat????

I will have to make a visit to the grocery store after and with my magnify glass read all the fine print on the packages to see that I don’t ingest some substance that could cause something in my system.

OHHHH food – I love it and want to eat it!!!

Now that I have gotten all these problems off my chest I think I will go out in my bad mood and lie about my age, and buy some eggs and enjoy a good unhealthy omelet! Thank you internet for telling me all about those problems and I am still alive and HEALTHY…..

TV & Ironing

I know this doesn’t sound like such an earth moving topic but I thought it really is. I had to iron the other day and I am sure many of you love to do this job just as much as I do.

Well, when I am doing this job I always love to switch on the TV and watch some stimulating entertainment that will amuse me while I am ironing. So as I was zapping through the channels I came across a program about mothers looking for wives for their adult sons. Now I thought I have to watch this! It’s a sad day when a guy about 35 years old needs his mom to go on TV for him to find him a wife.

But since I was home alone I thought this is the program to watch while ironing, and thank goodness that I had everything set-up before the program started so I wouldn’t miss a second of the show ( I mean set-up the ironing board and the other stuff plus a good glass of wine to make the job go more smoothly because I may need it by the time this program is over.) I was sure there would be some real interesting guys on this program and I wanted to be on the safe side to make sure that I didn’t pick the wrong man out in my life. I can just image there I am stuck with the wrong model and I have to let the better model slip through my fingers because I wasn’t watching this program.

Gals take note: Do no miss out on such programs if you are unsure of your present model!!!

Anyways, they showed some guy about 36 years old and his mom was telling about all the good traits that he has. I must say he isn’t really my kind a guy -> maybe I’m tooooooo choosy. Though, the guy’s mom goes on as if she is selling a used car and listing the features that come with it. Plus seemingly forgetting to mention if the warranty is still good or not.

I would not be interested if the warranty still wasn’t valid. You know-> just image you take the joker home with you and you find out that all the parts have rusted and that he needs an overhaul, and let alone all the other things that he brings along could be on the verge of needing expensive refurbishing. NO THANK YOU!!!

But one mom listed her son’s traits something like this:

He can repair small appliances -> I can too, so why do I need him, and if he was so good where’s his girlfriend?

Loves to be at home -> What woman in her right mind wants to stay home all the time? Not me! That’s the reason why his last girlfriend probably left him.

Is faithful -> Is the guy a dog?

Collects bottle caps -> only more junk to dust and maybe that didn’t impress his last girlfriend enough to stay around.

But a guy with such traits is really hard to resist.

But please everyone don’t tell my boyfriend about me watching such programs because he may get jealous and who knows he may dump me because he may think that I want to replace him with a newer model.

The more and more the moms spoke the more engrossed in the program I got and so I said the heck with ironing and sat down on the couch with my glass of wine to enjoy the program.

I was sooooo hooked on learning more about these prospective guys because the things they could do just seemed to top what my boyfriend can do. And while sitting on the sofa watching this program there was a short commercial break were you could call-up and say that you found a guy interesting.

I had to fight with myself because guy #2 was soooo interesting and that I wanted to meet him and by the time the commercial was over I just couldn’t think straight anymore. I was in a state asking myself: “ Stay with your boyfriend or dump him for the guy on TV?”

So I started to make a list of things that my boyfriend can and can’t do.

He can’t fix things very good -> That’s why I’m there.

Takes me out -> That’s why I’m there.

We don’t argue 7 times a day -> That’s why I’m there.

So it seems to me now after listing everything that I will stay with him. And that means that I won’t get a chance to meet all those great guys on TV. But then again I am sure somewhere on this planet there are gals out there just waiting to fall into their arms.

I wish all those guys on TV looking for chicks “good luck” and sorry but you can count me out because I have to finish my ironing.