The Missing Rolls ©sueromeiser2022

Now a news sensation is happening in the area where I live and you just won’t believe it, the top criminal sensation of the New Year 2022…… The “case of the missing toilet paper”…

This is no easy case to solve and investigators have been working around the clock to track down the culprits who stole those rolls of toilet paper. It has been reported that there are some eyewitnesses, but they seem to be holding back information due to the fact that they are busy.

There seems that various sorts of toilet paper have been missing over the past couple of months and that investigators have found that certain brands are easier to track down than others.

I myself don’t want to get involved in the criminal actions of the “Toilet paper Gang” that are lurking around town swiping rolls of toilet paper wherever they goooooo…

Should anybody out there see members of the “Toilet Paper Gang” take heed and keep hold of your own rolls of toilet paper or else the roll might unroll!

Enjoy a good laugh while reading ..

Human wireless ©sueromeiser2021

Guys I wouldn’t want to forget you at this time of the year of cheer… Now here is something nifty for the guys of today.

Sitting on the couch and wondering what the heck should I do, well you got it with your human wireless headphone.

I know as a gal I don’t know much about this techy stuff but it sure sounds to me like something out of this world… I always thought that humans were wireless but now that it is confirmed I just don’t know what to say anymore.

There you are sitting with your Human ( I hope that you are human and not one of those robo people buyers who want to replace a real gal.) wireless headphones on and listening to your favorite music or whatever.. and then a real human says to you “What the H.. are you doing??” , well all you have to say is… I’m using my human wireless headphones… Maybe you could add the extra bit as who is wireless, but be careful with that sentence, because if you say that to your gal, she may blow a fuse and then your human wireless situation could end up in a burnt-out situation and then you cannot replace the fuse anymore and that could be costly.

But before it comes to that there is the great “ hug smart remote”.. This handy little thing has lots of buttons that you can push and then something happens… Though do read the instruction carefully because certain numbers can cause you trouble while using the “hug smart remote”… you don’t want to get caught with your pants down. So take heed here.

When using the “human wireless headphones” together with the “ hug smart remote” make sure you are using the right frequency and have the right conductivity because you wouldn’t want your wires to get crossed and have a blackout in the house, because then you would need your nifty little “ human wireless flashlight” and without that you will really be in the dark and won’t be able to find your way to the fuse box without getting some static .

With all these three little lifesavers you are sure to have a happy holiday season.  

A man that thinks he can… ©sueromeiser2021

Nowadays there are guys and there are guys.. Which guy is always the question for the gals of today and remember gals when choosing that guy make sure he is well maintained and not over the expiration date, otherwise that could bring trouble into your life.

Here are some tips for you gals out there who maybe looking, because this time of year seems to bring all sorts of characters out of their hiding, and you as a gal don’t want to end up with a guy who is on the edge of his expiration date of 2021 and in the new year you are stuck with last years model and you have to support the guy because he made some false promises and you fell for them.

Always when looking for that “Pracht Exlempar” see that it is in good shape, no dents,etc… You modern gals know what I mean.

I myself as a gal of today always look carefully at what is walking around town and not interested in the used guys online with their fantasy stories that are a load of BS..

Like I wrote a while back it is important to check out the following and have your check list handy when meeting that “joker” for the first time.

Tips by Sue… Please adjust accordingly to your needs so that your first date doesn’t go sour!

1. See that he doesn’t look down at you.
2. Avoid guys that say “Trust me”
3. Any guy that wants to share his meal and askes for an extra plate is to be avoid by all means… That means that he is a tight wad… Defiantly not for me and the crowd I hang around with, if you know what I mean???
4. Make sure he pays for the meal on the first date and no S… , or are you an easy catch and then you can forget everything!
5. Last but least make sure you do your homework before meeting him.. Nothing worse than sitting there with the joker and all he does is bull shit his way through the meal.. Not for me.. No Thank you!
6. The most important of all is have the check list on the table so that he can fill it out right away and you can see if he is the one for you.
7. Can the guy hold a knife and fork correctly in his hand.. You wouldn’t want to be invited to a nice restaurant and have everyone stare at you because your date doesn’t know how to use cutlery. A pre-programed disaster!

So, gals just follow some of the above tips and you are sure to be on your way to the best evening of your life and remember don’t forget your check list and humor 😉

Disgusted ©sueromeiser2021

There are people out there who love to use the word disgusted all the time which I find as a gal some what dated and really doesn’t fit into the lingo that I use. I’m a more upbeat gal and like to stay on track when using such words and as many of you know who read my blog these words must understood in order to use them correctly.

So here is a short translation of the word “disgusted” so that the next time you use it you will be sure that you are on the safe side when talking to those you want to insult 😉

D – is for: the distraught manner in which the person views things

I –  is for: I have no idea what so ever what is going on, so I use this word.

g- is for:  This GD situation has gotten out of control, and I am sitting in deep shit.

u- is for: unbelievable

s- is for: probably what the person using the word wants.

t- is for: temperamental and one should always keep a rein on their temper.

e-is for: they think that they are elevated or better than you are.

d- is for: dim wit

So always think before speaking when using such words because as you know every letter of a word can be interpreted in many ways.

Enjoy speaking and have a great day!

Lies and life ©sueromeiser 2021

Times have changed trough the years with the pandemic of Covid-19 it has become visible that more and more people are turning into liars in the hope to make themselves feel better and avoid the painful truth that life will never be the same again.

Chasing after someone and trying to trick them somehow or preventing them from receiving their emails and tell others that they are mentally ill is the “new” fun in society because they think they can get away with anything they want too as long as they themselves don’t get caught in their lies like they tell at work or to others who they encounter.

For them fraud is a way of life or the thought that they are better than others treating them like dirt! That’s fun in their eyes and if the person they are treating badly says or does something they are the bad guy. Is this the new norm here? … Yes, because they sit there and spy on others, steal things from others and break into there rooms and probably others home’s too.

Welcome to the new world!

No one takes the time anymore to think about what they are doing and how this effects their lives too… Their thought “Ruin someone else’s life, because I am not happy with my own life.” Or to cover up a bad deed that they did.. This is society at its best and everyone is afraid of something and if someone says to them” I will blackmail you” they cower to them instead of seeing it as just “hot air” which it really is.

Then there are those who think they know it all and really don’t know a darn thing at all; just some made-up story that sounds good and brings some excitement into their lives. Reality is not always pretty but one has to face up to it and the reality that they themselves are in trouble.

One should think again before acting too swiftly to bad mouthing others or …..

Enjoy your holidays and take the time to think about what you have done or said this year 2021 and about that person you know.

Every Women’s Dream ©sueromeiser Dec 2021

After some hours of Zooming and show there she was the star of the show and HOHO..

Out on the tarmac glistening white as snow there was the delight of her shining new plane, its bow so bright saying to her “I’m yours for tonight.”

She climbed the stairs in her Prada shoes only to notice that weren’t too cool!

 The jet pilot stood there with a wink in his eye and smiled at her as she walked by. She sat in her seat of leather and gold but only to be told “don’t let your drink overflow!”

They taxied along the runway only to say that the taxi had slowed…. They turned the corner with the red and green lights a glow making her feel – OH I don’t know!

The pilot said sit back in your seat and smiled at her with his own little treat, they were back in the hanger from the ride in show and so as you know “ the ride was short but feeling was rich as the money fell sort and that’s how it goes”

HO HO HO Merry Christmas!

Eating, looks and Co.

Now that the official X-mas time is over and the new round of eating(cooking included), looks and what ever else is in store for us gals now??? That is the question of all questions……….

I was just online reading or maybe better said scrolling through the headlines of a certain publication only to be bombarded with how some young thing looks at 20-25 with the fashion outfit of the year 2020… Which I must be honest and say “ if I wore that people would run away or ask me what has happened to you….?”  A nightmare at my house to say the least.. maybe that look is better left alone along with the pumped-up bits that make this look such a look for 2020.

Though I do have some questions about all that pumped-up stuff.. “How often do you have to go in for a maintenance check, and what happens when you get older?” I do not want to think about it!!

Then there are the eating issues about what people buy and who likes what they buy or who does not like what they buy… Why do they even post what they buy online?? Are you interested in my grocery purchases??

Just image that I bought some vegetables that you do not like… Then what??? Therefore, I will not post any controversial pictures of my groceries that could lead to an online uproar…  then there is the “what I have cooked from my groceries”.. That can be an OMG moment to say the least… because we all do not like nor eat the same things. This again could lead to online issues too. I will stay on the safe side and post nothing… I feel better already, to say the least!

Now back to the serious stuff like make-up, which is a never-ending series of looks, how to apply it and so forth. That was there too and how much make-up do I need to create all these looks that these 20-year old’s “create” and as they say hide all the wrinkles, too. At twenty you do not have wrinkles at a later stage in life is when the wrinkles are there, and the make-up just does not look the same… or am I missing something?????

After the fashion, food, and make-up I am ready for a break from it all and need to go offline to see the real world and all its wonders.  

A Christmas hug

It is Christmas again and there maybe some presents under your tree, but they are objects that cannot replace a hug that some may be wishing that they had as a present this year.

Many people who maybe are alone or longing for the hug from some family member are now thinking back about the times when hugs were freely given to all without a thought about the simple hug and now the simple hug has turned into something that we all long for and are beginning to appreciate what a hug really means to us.

Think about the word “Hug”

H is for heartfelt and showing strong feelings that are sincere.

U is for unasked and you would like to know without asking.

G is for generous and to give something freely.

This little definition of a hug could be true in many ways but otherwise a hug is defined as:

Hug*: to put your arms around somebody and hold them tightly, especially to show that you like or love them. (source: *Oxford-Advanced Learners Dictionary)

So, that little hug that many maybe longing for can be there in our thoughts by shutting our eyes and just imaging that that loved one is there hugging you and the wonderful memories of the previous hugs that we freely gave to everyone without thinking about what we were doing.

A little hug can go along way without saying anything that words can describe. So, one thing can be learned from how things are right now, is that we need to appreciate the small things in life, like a hug.

Give a hug if you can and then your day will be better.

Get a jump on Christmas

Remember the times as a kid when you wrote that letter to Santa Claus with your wish list that was about a mile long, and of course everything was on it that you could think of; whether you really needed it or not… But the wish list was written, and the wishes were there, and Santa Claus would pop by and of course fulfill the wish list (at least in my dreams).

Jolly Ol Saint Nick must have squeezed himself down thousands of chimneys and eaten zillions of cookies too on Christmas Eve… I wonder how he managed all that in his relentless job of delivering all those toys to the kids around the world???? Plus, as a kid, what I found more amazing, was that I never saw Santa Claus in my childhood. He seemed to visit our house put the presents under the tree and take-off in a jiffy.

Looking back at it I see Santa must have had a good time management system, and probably attended one of those seminars on “How to be more productive” and not to mention the fact that he must have spent a fortune on buying those addresses of where each kid lived… Santa must have been a real sort of advanced thinking guy for those times back then.

Then there were his reindeer that were top fit to pull his sleigh. Those deer must have participated in one of those special “Reindeer keep fit courses”. Do they still offer those courses nowadays??? I bet not anymore. Times have changed.

Though Santa’s “life hacks” were amazing back then. As many of you may remember he had his own tracking system shown on TV, showing his exact location somewhere, and the guy did not have GPS either. You can say what you want here, but that was something!!!

When I think back about those Christmas’s one thing is missing… You ask “What”???

I never got Santa’s phone number to say “Thank you” for delivery all those great presents to our house and placing them under our Christmas tree.

So, Santa, should you be reading this here: I just want to say “Thank you” for all those great toys that you brought to our house back then!!

Good bye Christmas tree

It’s that time of the month to say goodbye to our beloved Christmas tree and take the decorations off it and store them away for another year until they are needed again.

There was the Christmas tree standing proudly in a room shining with decorations that brought a smile to your face every time you looked at it, and probably bring back memories of the past of how the tree looked as you were a kid and the great time that you had around the Christmas tree.

Does anybody even consider that taking the decorations off the Christmas tree isn’t really work, it is part of the whole package of Christmas. But most people complain that they have to take the decorations off the tree and put them away until the next Christmas season.

Somehow, now the space looks empty where my Christmas tree was standing. I come home and look at the space and think how lovely it looked with the Christmas tree standing there greeting me when I came home. But that is what is nice about it. The memories of the Christmas tree and again the next year putting up a Christmas tree before Christmas and the discovering the decorations that you may have forgotten about from the past Christmas, or where the decorations came from.

So, it is time to say in a short sentence: Goodbye Christmas tree!