The Chocolate Bunny

It was brought to my attention that Easter is just around the corner and hopefully the Easter bunny will find his way to my place with his GPS tracking system.

I can remember when I was a kid that was a great time of year and I believed that the Easter bunny visited our house not like kids now-a-days not believing in anything. And if the weather was warm enough we could search for Easter eggs outside; though I did have to be pretty fast because if I wasn’t our dog Cesar would find the chocolate eggs before me and eat them paper and all. The amazing part was that Cesar never got sick from eating so much chocolate with paper and if he did I never noticed it.

But I can remember one Easter that was really cold and the snow was still on the ground so that meant no looking for chocolate eggs outside. But that didn’t dampen my spirits because I knew the Easter bunny would come to my house and hide some chocolate eggs anyways.

Like always I got up early hoping to get a glimpse of the Easter bunny but no luck. The Easter bunny was like Santa Claus you never saw either of them but they always left you something great!

Well, on this cold Easter Sunday I thought I found all the small chocolate eggs and was enjoying myself eating them before breakfast. As they always said “start the day off right with a nutritious breakfast.” Well I was!!!

Anyways, the day went on and was over and Monday arrived. My parents never notice that I never found the large chocolate Easter bunny nor did I know anything about it. And since it was Monday my mom like always washed the cloths and once the washing machine was finished threw all the cloths into the wonderful dryer and you guessed it -> my chocolate Easter bunny was hidden in the dryer…

The kitchen seemed to fill-up with the lovely smell of melting chocolate and at first I thought “WOW, mom’s baking something” but quickly realized that wasn’t so. But I could still smell chocolate. My mom came into the kitchen and asked me what I was up to? I told her that I thought she was baking cookies but she said no and that I shouldn’t be in the kitchen.

I didn’t give-up so fast and asked what are you baking because it smells so good and then it dawned on my mom and she asked me “ Did you eat your large chocolate Easter bunny?” I said: No, I didn’t know the Easter bunny brought me one. My mom turned white as a sheet and opened the dryer to see all the freshly washed laundry covered in chocolate. I was devastated when I saw that and asked my mom why did the Easter bunny put my chocolate bunny in the dryer?

My poor mom was speechless but came up with a quick answer saying that the Easter bunny was afraid of Cesar and was worried that he would eat the chocolate bunny.
I was young enough to believe the story but my poor mom had to rewash all the cloths and scrape all the chocolate out of the dryer and never again was a chocolate bunny hidden in the dryer.

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Marriage has ended

This is a phenomenon that seems to be happening quite a bit now-a-days and somehow things aren’t like they used to be where you stayed together until death do us part. Those days are long gone.

My grandparents managed 60 years of martial bliss and stuck it out with each other no matter how dire the circumstances were. And I think if it was now-a-days my gran would have left my grandfather faster than you can bat an eyelid. But she was from the old school, so you stayed at the helm and kept a stiff upper lip no matter what.

There are interesting happenings in the world of divorce now-a-days and what people haggle over and about are truly amazing. Plus all these marital contracts to prevent one party from obtaining tooooo much money or possessions from the other person.

But the best is when it comes to things around the house for example the dish washer or washing machine; now who in their right mind would haggle over such things or end a marriage because of a machine? This supposedly happened somewhere in the world and how it exactly went I cannot remember but here is my interpretation of the whole deal.

It started out like this: The couple was in marital bliss and then reality set in were the woman did not train her hubby nor see if he was certified for doing housework and instead of talking to each other about the domestic problems they both let them pass by and one Christmas he bought his wife a dish washer for a present that she did not want. She had hoped for a pair of diamond earrings but -> bad luck!
Then as time went on he purchased her a new washing machine with all the programs but he was unwilling to learn how to use it and after a couple of heated conversations she told him to stick-it.

One day he finally thought he would wash his laundry himself and noted that this is good fun and started doing it regularly and said to his beloved wife you don’t need to do my laundry anymore. She got suspicious and thought maybe he had lipstick on his collar or the smell of another gal’s perfume on his shirts.

This whole scene started a real argument and she said to him: I’ll see you at my lawyers, because I am going to go back to my mother.

He said: Go ahead and so she steamed off with her one and only suitcase and the dishwasher that he had given her. He would not allow her to take the washing machine because he had fallen in love with it and he wasn’t going to part with it.

They met a couple of days later at her lawyers and they came to an amicable agreement were she got some cash and he could keep the washing machine.

The moral of the story is talk to each other and don’t let a washing machine ruin your marriage.

My Brain

This is something that we all have. Thank goodness mine is still functioning and hasn’t gotten lost to an App.
It is reported that the size of your brain influences the number of friends you have though I find the study a bit questionable because they only checked out less than 50 people.

I never realized before that if my brain was small I wouldn’t have many friends or none at all and if it was crammed into my cranium because it was sooooo large I would have lots of friends.

Personally am not sure where I stand on this scale because I haven’t had my brain measured and am not sure if I have the right amount of friends. Has anyone out there had their brain measured to see if they have the right amount of friends?

I am not even sure if I want to leave the house today because the people on the street may realize the size of my brain and then know how many friends I have. Plus all my friends do they know the size of their brain? I am starting to get scared thinking about all this.

If I go to the doctor and have a brain scan then I would know and could adjust my life accordingly to the size of my brain. I would not want it to be known that I have a large brain and not enough friends to correlate with the size of my brain. Another scary thought for me is if my brain is small and I have lots of friends then my brain may blow a fuse or short-circuit leaving me in a state. What should I do???

Another question is: What about all those people on those social networks who have lots of sooo called friends are their brains large? Or that doesn’t count? I took it that real-time friends counted and not virtual ones.

My brain is now whirling with thoughts about this and I have started to group my friends together and wonder what should I do?

Group 1: friends for sports -> very limited 5 people (small brain)

Group 2: friends for shopping -> large group 10 people (middle-sized brain)

Group 3: friends for meeting-up with -> very large group 20 people (large brain)

After grouping all my friends together I feel my brain could have a problem and now I must consult a brain doctor, and ask: Can I meet with all the groups because of the number of people in each group?

Actually, maybe the study was done so that the researchers could snag some of your friends because they don’t have many themselves and as a result are trying to make me worry about the size of my brain.
I am quite content with my brain and it has been with me for years and helped me through many a situation so why should I worry about its size?

Furthermore, how many friends do I need? I am content with the number of friends I have now and wouldn’t dump them for the world because their great people!

Friends are great people and don’t worry about the size of your brain or else you may not have any friends.

On the Bus

I normally travel on public transport because I would like to do my small share for the environment but that is not what I want to write about here.

Have you ever taken a good look around you to see what everyone is up too while they try to pass their time on the bus either traveling to work or just out and about. Everyone seems either engrossed in their mobile devices or some sort of book. I personally find the mobile device users the best group to observe, because they always seem to be in their own world oblivious to what’s going on around them.

When someone is talking on their cell phone (recently a young woman) who was telling her friend how she broke-up with her boyfriend and how she showed him that’s how life is.

The conversation went something like this:
You know … I told Tom in no uncertain terms that if he didn’t take me out on Friday evening that I would leave him and you won’t believe what he said…He said no I am not going to take you out on Friday evening because I want to watch the soccer game on TV with my friends. And I told him that he had to take me out, but he had the nerve to say no to me and that I could go out with you or one of my other friends.

So, as you can image I said- then good! And told him if he doesn’t change his mind within the next 10 minutes I am going to leave him for good.
Then he said: good you can go, but I am watching soccer on TV no matter what!
Well, I flipped out and called him #$& and *%! And that didn’t even phase him. What kind of guy is he? …..a bit of silence …. (Just a note-she was talking so loud that the whole bus could hear her and enjoy the story too.)

Well (she went on) I left him and went to my mom’s place and went out with Mark on Friday evening and we had a great time together and I ended up at his place.
I should have gone out with him ages ago. I am not sure if Tom even misses me? I haven’t seen him but heard that he went out with Kathy after the soccer game on Friday evening. Can you just image that; he doesn’t even miss me. You know I was the best thing he ever had and he doesn’t even realize it.

What’a jerk! I know in the next couple of days he will come crawling on his knees begging me to come back.

Unfortunately, I can’t say how the story ended because she got off the bus. Maybe if I am lucky she will board the bus and continue the moving story of how she left her boyfriend.
Who left who is always the question here because I can only hear one side of the story.

Then there are the social network cell phone users who are hoping that someone has contacted them or they have gained a so called new friend or they have to report to everyone that they are sitting on the bus.

I mean really isn’t that something you have always wanted to know or that they are sending text messages and their phone makes a sound every couple of minutes – they are someone and they are being contacted. What more would you want from life?

I wonder sometimes how I manage to get through my bus trip without receiving 50 text messages or not participating in some social network or telephoning and telling the world about my problems.

Am I the odd one out or has life changed so much that everyone can’t survive with a cellular device? I don’t want to be reachable 24/7. I want a life outside my cell phone even on the bus.

Maybe that’s why I have taken to watching all these people because it’s getting to be just as good as a TV program. I will stay tuned to my next bus adventure and if it’s good I will share it with you.

For Guys who like Beer

While doing nothing all day at my desk just drinking coffee and surfing the internet; I came across an article that is a real “must have” for guys. Naturally, all you gal readers may want to rush out and buy one for your boyfriend or husband so please read on.

I must say I have never laughed so hard reading an article before and my secretary heard me laughing and came in and asked me if everything was ok and when I showed her the article she was in tears because she was laughing soooo hard too.

Guys you would never imagine were you can store your beer when you are out and about and it’s not in a flask either. Though you could put other beverages in there too if you do not drink beer.
Has anyone guessed where it’s strapped to your body???? Well, I will tell you the answer -> Hold onto your beer bottle now -> -> The answer is onto your body under your trousers or jeans and in a plastic thing and the spigot hangs out of your zipper.

My question on those guys who invented that: How can you serve your beer in the public? Maybe someone may think you’re a bit bonkers if you pull out the spigot from your jeans and pour yourself a fresh beer.

Another somewhat disturbing thought is that hopefully the guy is clean down there and is wearing fresh underwear, because I would not want to be served a fresh beer and find out that he hasn’t washed himself and isn’t wearing clean underwear. That thought somehow puts me off drinking beer.
And another thought how do you keep the beer cold without freezing your manly parts off? Do any of you guys have an answer to that ??? And if so please tell me.

But I seemed to have forgotten the good’ol guy side of things here. Guys could sit around and watch the football game together and everyone has their favorite brand of beer with them and the host only needs to supply the glasses or there could be spigot contests to see which guy’s spigot is the longest or you are at a meeting and it’s a warm day and one guy suggests “ How about a beer?” Everyone can get their paper cup out and the guy with the beer unzips his trousers and whips his spigot out and everyone can then can sit back and enjoy a beer. What more does a guy need???

On top of that I have thought of some other obstacles which you guys could encounter with such a great thing. In the summer there could be a problem when you are at the beach because you have to wear a pair of baggies otherwise, the guy would look a bit ridiculous in one of those tighter fitting swimming trunks. Then again it would be great if you are out fishing or even on the golf course -> imagine you are out on the golf course with your buddies playing a round and at the 10th hole everyone is thirsty for a beer; well all one of the guys has to do is whip out his spigot and everyone has their paper cups ready and there you go -> you can enjoy a lukewarm beer at the 10th hole!!!

I wonder how much beer such a thing holds?? Anything under a six pack seems a waste of time to me and wouldn’t be worth carrying around with you.

Plus, another dimension too this whole thing is the dating part. The guy asks a gal out and she says yes, and both decide to take a romantic walk on the beach watching the sunset and while you are walking enjoying the scenery the guy asks you if you would like a beer? You say: Yes

What does the guy do? He whips out 2 paper cups and his spigot from his fly and serves you a beer. That’s what I would call a really great time !!!!! let alone I would laugh my head off, but I know some gals could be shocked and then hopefully the guy has enough manners to say that his beer is in his trousers and ask if it is ok if he takes his spigot out.

But if you are adventurous like me I would enjoy the whole situation because it brings a whole new aspect to the meaning of going out for a drink.

So guys if you want to take your beer with you please don’t forget your beer container with the spigot for your jeans. Enjoy your beer!!!

Turmoil with Toilet Paper

This tidbit of information is something that you must know about.(I am busy tomorrow bossing people around, so I thought I would post it now)

I could hardly believe my eyes when I read that there are public buildings with toilet paper shortages. This means that supplies are running out and that one should always have a spare roll of toilet paper with them whenever they leave the house.
For us gals that’s no problem because we have our trusty handbag with us so a roll can be stuffed in it.
But for guys I see a problem because you can’t walk around with a roll of toilet paper in your hand; though maybe it could be a new fashion accessory for 2012?
Toilet paper holder for guys; a must for 2012 and you could also get a special toilet roll holder for your car and it’s standard in all new models. And the most important “must have” toilet paper App, so you know where to buy the brand you want.

Plus, just image color coordinated roll of toilet paper that either matches your shirt or suit that you are wearing and at the same time you are prepared for anything because you have your trusty roll of toilet paper with you. I am going to suggest this to my husband and he can give a presentation about this to his male business colleagues and they then can decide on how to best approach this problem. And once I know the answer I will let you know. Ok?

Just writing this here gives me a feeling that I must go and check to see that I have enough rolls of toilet paper here because leaving the house without my trusty roll could be dangerous if I have to go unexpectedly and I don’t have my roll with me and there is no one else around with a roll either. Maybe I will go out and buy a family pack later on today and then I am ready for all toilet paper problems.

Think about it- no one ever really thinks about the wonders of a roll of toilet paper. That stuff has been around for years in all colors and quality. I love toilet paper and am not ashamed to admit it. And I bet there’s some of you out there too who love toilet paper but just don’t want to admit it.

There’s the sort of recycled toilet paper that would take the skin off your backside if you used it -> it’s environmentally friendly cause it’s a gray color and after you use it you may need a tube of hemorrhoid ointment to protect you from the environmentally friendly toilet paper. So how am I protecting the environment?

Then there’s the bright colored sort -> My gran (great woman) always had purple because it matched her bathroom and turned the water in the toilet bowl the same color. I used to love to go into the bathroom as a kid and just tear off the sheets and throw them into the water and watch it change color in a matter of seconds. Doing that was better than any computer game and provided hours of fun too.

Now I don’t want to think about what it did to my backside let alone the chemicals that were in it. But hey, I’m still alive and enjoying life. Maybe it is because I used that purple toilet paper. Do they still make it in that color???

Then there’s the normal boring white with its different ply’s now this is toilet paper!
Whether or not it can hold up to the purple stuff I’m not too sure. And the white stuff does not make the water a neat color. So that makes it sort of boring. But it’s probably better for your backside.

So just remember next time you want to go out don’t forget your trusty roll of toilet paper that can provide you with the feeling of security that you need when you “must go”.

The Problem Bra

Now this is news that gals can’t miss out on!!

Did you know that if you don’t wear the right bra your day could be ruined? Once I read that I knew right away that I could have serious bra problems if I didn’t wear the right bra.

I could see it now out and about and everyone having x-ray perception (like years ago) and they could see through my blouse and say -> I knew that she had the wrong bra on. Well, this would really ruin my day let alone my ego.

This whole issue got me thinking about my bra’s and I started to sweat and once I had all my bra’s laid out on the bed; I realized that some of them really were the sort of bra that could ruin my day.

Well, once I pulled myself together I jumped into my car and drove to the bra store to see what I could find. Wow, once inside the store I just stood there in shock looking at all those bras and seeing how many models there are and the vast array of colors which was really unbelievable.

Because I normally never visit such a bra store I thought I needed help. A sales woman came over (a bit top heavy) and asked if she could help me? I informed her that according to scientists I needed some new bras. I was indeed lucky because she had read about this too and understood my dilemma. I was relieved!!!

I couldn’t face the world or my boyfriend anymore without the right bra on. So after the sales woman took my measurements she suggested that she choose a couple of models to try on. I thought “OK”

But somehow the sales woman hadn’t really been listening to what I said earlier to what sort of bra I needed. I admit I am not flat as a pancake nor well endowed -> but help gravity is taking its toll!!!

I really need a full support model that should boost my ego and also one with the push-up effect (whatever there is too push-up???) I ask….

The sales woman chooses about 10 bras for all occasions. The first one a flimsy thing that would look good on a younger gal but “NOT ME” – I would scare my boyfriend off if I wore such a bra and then I would have a real bra problem.

But after looking at all those ego boosting bras I couldn’t say that my ego was really boosted. Actually, just the opposite.

But after a couple of minutes contemplating I choose 3 sturdy models that would lift my ego along with my boobs. Those bras are soooooo sturdy they could be used as a bullet proof vest and they even guarantee a perfect fit. With the guarantee I am a bit skeptical thought because if I gain or lose weight then there is no more perfect fit and will I get my money back then?

Once back home I wanted to show off my new “ must have” bras to my boyfriend; so I modeled them for him saying that they should boost my ego according to scientific research.

And what did he say: “According to me your old ones looked better.” And added that “why do you always get sucked into believing all that scientific nonsense?”

As you can imagine at first I was upset but then I got to thinking about what he said and I came to the conclusion that if you are happy with yourself then it really doesn’t matter what sort of bra you are wearing. And those scientists were probably paid by some bra manufacture because bra sales are slumping and with that sort of nonsense they are trying to play on the feelings of us gals.

Stand-up for yourself gals and wear whatever sort of bra that you want because you are wearing the bra for not one of those scientist.

Childhood memories

Now that spring is here and the sun is shining I got to thinking about those wonderful spring days of my childhood. We spent hours outside and our parents never worried about us and we were free to do whatever we wanted to do. Those were the days!!

Every spring myself and 4 other kids would meet-up to walk to the pond to catch pollywogs ( I hope that I spelt the word correctly.?) in our pails. I was the supplier of the pails because somehow my dad always seemed to have an endless supply of ½ gallon pails for us and we were always grateful for that. We would walk about a mile and ½ to the pond and take our socks & shoes off and wade into the ice cold water and at the same time our feet would turn blue from the cold. But we never got sick from that cold water; we were tough kids back then immune to everything!

After catching our pollywogs we would then count them to see who had the most. I always had the feeling that I was counting the same ones but I was never really sure. Then we would march back home with our pails to show our parents the wonders of nature in our pails. It was always exciting because you had to maneuver your way through the woods and not drop your pail or else that was the end of your pollywogs and they then went to pollywog heaven.

My parents wouldn’t let me keep my pollywogs because my mom thought that was cruel. I never understood her because in the pond there were millions of those things and that’s no joke either! But when my mom said bring your pollywogs back to the pond I normally went over to a friend’s house that had an inflatable swimming pool and we would dump them all in there and feed them daily and watch their progress and see how they grew their legs and turned into frogs.

That was real action not any computer games, TV or such. We learned about nature first hand and spent many wonderful hours outside doing such great things.

Though I do have one memory from my pollywog days that got us in real trouble. We normally took the dog with us that belonged to an elderly lady who live near us. I think the dog was a bit of a handful for her because he was a boxer and loved to run around with us until that afternoon.
Like always we picked Brutus up on our daily hike to the pond to check out what was happening to the pollywogs.

Normally we weren’t afraid of anything except skunks!!!

We were always told to steer clear of them but on that day we were too busy with our pollywogs to watch what Brutus was doing and while we were wading in the water we heard Brutus let out a sort of cry and thought quick we have to see what happened to him and you guessed it right -> the skunk sprayed Brutus and boy did he stink!!!!!!

We thought we could wash him in the pond but that didn’t work and so we went to one of my friend’s house and sprayed Brutus with room air freshener thinking that would do the trick and you know how kids are we somehow forgot about Brutus stinking and brought him back home and said we would visit him tomorrow.

About an hour later my mom got a phone call from Brutus’s owner saying that Brutus stunk like a skunk and did I know anything about it? I couldn’t lie and said yes but pretended that I really wasn’t sure what a skunk was. Bad move on my part because that was the end of my pollywog’s that spring and we all were grounded for a week. But that didn’t stop us from doing the same thing next year -> looking for pollywogs.

We did that for years until somehow we all grew out of that and our interests changed and that was the end of the pollywogs.

Shocking News !

Well as you all know I am an avid reader and like to keep myself up-to-date on all the latest scientific studies. I don’t want to be left behind because I didn’t read an important article that could possible influence my life.

Scientists have come to the conclusion that after years of extensive research that men are not good at or nor do they like doing housework. I am sure the scientists who were involved in this study were men so they too could get out of doing the housework by saying: “Honey, I have to go to the lab now and sorry I won’t be able to help you around the house, but I am sure you can manage the job alone.”

All I can say here is -> he’s lucky he’s not my husband!!!

My question on those guys is: “Why didn’t they just ask me?” I could have given them the answer even though I don’t have a PhD in housework; but I do have enough experience to know what I am talking about here when it comes to doing housework. Though the problem could have been that the scientists forgot to sort their laundry out and the colors bled which held up progress and that’s why the study took so long and they forgot to ask me.

I can only speak for myself here and maybe some of you gals see it the same way as I do. If your husband, boyfriend or guy did the housework without asking him too; it would make front pager news on the local newspaper. I would faint from shock if that happened!!!

Again they listed what men don’t do or do very good around the house:

● Don’t sort the laundry before washing it -> Why, if it’s all the same color there’s less work.

● Don’t like to vacuum -> What happened to the British guy who invented the vacuum cleaner for men? I bet it doesn’t have enough space age technology.

● Can’t manage the dishes -> Just image going to the office with dish pan hands….A good reason to steer clear of this job.

● Repairing things -> Who has the right tool for the job? I’ll be back in an hour with the right tool and hopefully by then you will have forgotten about the job!

So really with all those arguments how could you even imagine thinking about asking your hubby to do the housework????
I find the best one is small repairs around the house. I asked my hubby recently to drill a hole in the wall and put a screw with a fastener thing on it in the hole so I could hang a picture on the wall.

After asking about a trillion times (you know what I’m talking about) I got the electric drill out and all the other stuff that I needed for the job and then my hubby asked me “What am I doing with his drill?” I explained to him what I wanted to do, but he said “Not with my tools!”

I asked myself: Since when are those bloody things his? He went on to explain that I had enough stuff like a dishwasher, washing machine and dryer that he had bought especially for me. I could have exploded when I heard that…
I asked “What about the tools?” and he said “no their mine.”

So, from this incident I could clearly see that household chores are delegated accordingly and I have come to this conclusion without any scientific evidence or research.

But at that moment it dawned on me that I should hold training seminars, so all those men could learn the intricacies of housework and earn themselves a degree in housework. This way when a gal meets a prospective guy he could proudly show her his housework degree and that they know how to do housework; plus the certificate is like software with yearly up-dates so it doesn’t run on the wrong program. And this way it ensures that the gal knows exactly what their getting before they decide to tie the knot.

So, gals please check that your guy is certified guaranteeing quality housework and not like those men in the scientific study.